Seriously, why don’t women know when to stop? Yes, of course not all women, but plenty of women just don’t seem to know when they have overstepped a line. This can have many manifestations. It is also visible both on an individual as well as a societal level. Let’s start with a few observations.
Has anyone of you ever witnessed a woman provoking a man so much that he eventually dropped her? Those are rare sights. I witnessed this once in public. Some chick kept hitting a guy for minutes. She slapped and kicked him and called him all names in the book. After a few minutes, he had enough, hit her in the head, and down she went. That was quite a sight. If you’ve never seen something like that, you’ll find some material on LiveLeak and maybe on YouTube, if you manage to track down a video before their internal Cuck Brigade deletes it. Women grow up believing that men won’t hit girls. This is all well and good if those women behave well. However, some women get so deluded that they think they are invincible. They seem to think that men can’t hit back — until they do. Of course, that is not a recommended course of action, because it’s not even self-defense if you avert a potentially deadly attack by a woman. As a man, you’re guilty no matter what. As a Western man, that is.
Hitting a woman isn’t what I recommend. Yet, even if you don’t hit back, chances are that a woman who is so deranged that she thinks she can verbally and physically abuse you does not believe that her actions will have any consequences at all. That was certainly the case when my ex-wife got completely crazy. I used to sit her down and talk with her about her behavior. At one point, as she didn’t seem to get the hint, I told her point-blank that if she doesn’t get her act together I’ll divorce her. She thought I was joking when I started packing my stuff and couldn’t imagine that a guy would just dump her. That was another aspect of her personal history: she didn’t believe that guys would break up with girls as that was not how things normally played out for her and her girlfriends. What is worse, even when I eventually told her that I am going to divorce her, she didn’t believe it until she received the paperwork.
How do you make it clear to an irrational person who believes that she can act with impunity that she is close to a point of no return? My ex-wife didn’t take the early indications seriously. How is she going to ever understand that she has messed up? With a narcissist, this may well be impossible. Rationally discussing an issue works well with rational people, but it is wasted effort when dealing with someone who isn’t quite right in the head. Of course, this implies that I believe that if you can’t discuss something rationally and instead resort to emotions, you are sub-human.
On a societal level, you can make the same observations. Women just don’t know when to stop. Just like your drunk and stupid chick at the bar who keeps slapping her boyfriend until he socks her, so do women collectively just keep spouting their nonsense. You don’t even have to look into feminism. Everyday behavior of women is at a point where sizeable numbers of men just don’t want to bother with women at all anymore. Yup, guys are in increasing number just going their own way. What did women think all their bitching would achieve in the end?
At one point, it’s too late. Just like, on an individual level, guys will walk out of abusive relationships, so will, on a societal level, guys shun commitment altogether. Once they are gone, they are gone. Just a few short years ago, MGTOWs were ridiculed as basement dwellers and feminists thought they were oh-so-smart when they claimed that the MGTOW movement was one blowjob away from collapsing. Based on my substantial sample, I’d say that the average woman is really not that great at sucking dick, and even the best blowjob in the world won’t make you, at a certain point, put up with the never-ending bullshit of a woman.
I also believe that the delusion of being invincible is what made feminists push for mass immigration of savages from the third world. In the last three days, there were three reports in national German news according to which 14 or 15 year-old girls were stabbed to death by their boyfriends. Of course, that has nothing to do with religion, and it’s certainly a complete accident when, upon increasing pressure on the media, the perpetrators turn out to be supposedly adolescent refugees who, for some reason, look twice their stated age.
Just because daddy told you that guys can’t hit girls doesn’t mean that there aren’t people out there who will absolutely put them in their place — or cut their throat. In the Oppression Olympics, being an immigrant from the third world beats being a woman, so Shahid and Jabbar enjoy special treatment before the law and get to rape Western women with little consequence. Raping a minor gets you a few hours of community service in Sweden if you’re a Muslim. It seems that women have been coddled so much and shielded from reality to such an extent that they are fully convinced that they can do anything, that men are weak and stupid, and that nothing bad will ever happen to them. We are currently witnessing quite a societal shift. Western men increasingly go MGTOW or shack up with hot Asian girls. Meanwhile, rapefugees from Africa and the Middle East push for societal change that is about to roll back women’s liberation a cool 20,000 years, working towards a hard patriarchy were women are personal property and have no rights. But, sure, womyn, you thought you’re invincible. How’s that working out for you?
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Even the most loyal dog will bite if you kick it long enough!
I always liked Al Capone’s take:
“Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me, weak is not what you are going to remember about me.”
Yes, they don’t know when to stop and are always hiding behind that “lovely creature” image. Or worse “mother love”. I can’t remember exact figures, but I think child abuse is more a mother’s than a father’s thing. Until… the kids walk out on them. Boy how it must feel when their “but me kids surely love me, I only want the best for them and a slap never hurt anybody” kind of world breaks down.
That’s actually a great parallel to divorce. Women don’t seem to see it coming that they are about to get dumped. They don’t think it’s even a possibility, apparently. Likewise, since the kids are “hers”, they can’t fathom that they would ever leave. It takes an absurd degree of narcissism to be an utterly shitty person and believe that nobody will ever turn against you.
My mother certainly didn’t see it coming. Although her social circle had warned her about that a decade before I left. Mind you I was 19 when they found a note together with her keys saying she can f*** off.
Anyway, it’s on my to-do list to go talk to her again this year. It’s been 8 years. I’m doing it for myself, though as I want to get rid of the hate in me. I have mixed feeling about her becoming a better person, though.
“even when I eventually told her that I am going to divorce her, she didn’t believe it until she received the paperwork”
Aaron, can you share a bit what you did from the moment on you decided to divorce her, till you actually told her so?
By that I mean what precaution matters (other than not having sex with her*, you mentioned that in an earlier post) did you take?
* to that point: didn’t it seem odd to her to not have sex with you for an (I assume) extended period?
Funnily enough, a little while after I stopped having sex with her, she “flipped the script” and claimed she did not want to have sex with me anymore anyway. She even eventually became smug and thought she had reigned me in and turned me into her little beta bitch who wasn’t getting any, when I was in fact working on my exit. This may deserve a longer post, but, in short, I got all my documents out of her apartment, all valuables, and I replaced my clothes with stuff I didn’t mind losing. I did this bit by bit so that it wasn’t obvious to her. (We both had our own place at that point for professional reasons anyway.) I thought that I’d eventually trade the few things she had at my place with my clothes at her place, but in a raging fit she threw my stuff in the trash. Thus, she was demonstrating yet again why she wasn’t fit for marriage.
You should stop spreading fake news. Sweden has one of the toughest immigration laws in the world. In fact laws may be too tough.
https://www.thelocal.se/20180202/sweden-is-deporting-this-entrepreneur-for-lowering-his-own-salary
Look they are deporting this “criminal” in 4 weeks after he commmitted a crime. But reading the story I dont think he should be deported.
After dropping the ball hard, Sweden is making a token effort to secure their borders. That doesn’t resolve the issue of no-go zones in any way, though.
“Putting on the hood after the rain” we say in Bulgaria.
It’s interesting. This has been the main topic between me and my best friend over the past year… like we keep wondering “how is it possible women are this blind”…
We have a saying in my country “the train left the station”. It refers to people who believe they are entitled to something… and they can’t even imagine that it will ever leave “the train has left the station, for good”.
For me it’s in a different context. I am engaged in an activity that requires me to work with (mentor and actually give value and work to women)… And I keep offering the value, keep getting no gratitude in return. It’s only when I say fuck it cunt, train has left the station for good. Women are all like surprised “wait alek, you weren’t going to endure my shit for years”…. Happens every single time.
Ironically enough, it’s only when I decide to dump them for good (i.e. refuse to ever cooperate with them on a project like this) do they start being nice and agreeable… instead of the bitches they were when they thought they had the train secured.
Wait, you weren’t going to offer me tons of value and stuff for eternity… But wut? I thought I was born entitled to it. They’re shocked each and every time. To them it’s like out of the blue… they’re shocked. To me it’s like… fuck I can’t believe I gave this bitch so many chances.
Alek Novy: (how is it possible women are this blind?) Because we (men) enable them. It’s where most conservative people go rong. They only police male behaviour. And they let women get away with almost everything. Both left and right politics are about giving women what they want. Both are gynocentric. Women learn from a early age that they are the centre of the universe. They behave like spoiled children because we (men) let them. We clean up their mess time and time again. And we need to stop doing that. If women don’t behave traditional. Than we shouldn’t give them the traditional treatments. If they behave like a bitch. We should treat them as such. They will never learn as long we keep enabling them in their destructive behaviour.
Well that’s the thing… from what I’ve seen… women aren’t being enabled. Most women fuck themselves over for overplaying their hand. It’s not like it works for most women, and a few get fucked by overplaying their hand.
Most women fuck themselves over by overplaying their hand.
Your right. But men and the government keep helping them when they do. There are no real social backlashes anymore. They believe that everything go’s these days. They are hardly ever held responsible. If a guy cheats he’s a dog. If a girl cheats her boyfriend must be a loser. It’s never their fault. So why would they assume there would be consequences to their behaviour? Most of the time there are non. Even single mothers are praised for their fuck up’s. And given government support plus child support. They are rewarded for bad behaviour.
@Alek
Sounds like your typical clients didn’t have a strong father figure either. Is this true?
No idea. Most men in most families are cucks though. It’s a very matriarchal culture. Women rule the family.
Aaron,
Could you go on about what specific behaviors your ex-wife exhibited? Was there really no way to reason with her? There must have been something good about her in the first place or else you never would have married her, no?
I intend to write up a post-mortem at some point. A big issue was that she had (has) a psychological disorder. That used to be quite trivial, but it eventually blew out of proportion. Look up “splitting” in borderline personality disorder (BPD) for a sneak preview. Her personality did change fundamentally. The person I divorced had little in common with the person I married. Then again, through reading up on BPD, I learnt that the person I married may only have ever existed in my mind as it was little more than an elaborate deception. In hindsight, it would probably have been wise to have lived together for half a year or so before marrying. Well, I should also add that the jurisdiction we got married in is quite kind towards men in divorce as long as you don’t have kids and don’t own real estate, meaning that she doesn’t get half your assets, nor will you have to pay alimony. Consequently, the stakes weren’t quite as high as in the UK, US, Australia, and many other countries. (I would not have married her in a jurisdiction that makes it a sport to ass-rape men in divorce.)
Thanks! Just some thoughts: from what I just read, splitting could be a mental habit that has been enabled and strengthened as a neural connection due to lack of intervention (for lack of a better word) by the parents. It seems it’s a defense mechanism that instantiates early in a person’s life, and thus your ex most likely was already crazy when you married her. Due to some anecdotal evidence, I also think splitting is caused/exacerbated by the lack of a strong male father figure.
In a modern, western family dynamic, the mother is usually the one who issues ultimatums and has inexorable desires, whereas the father is the one who compromises. The mother is also the one who calls for a divorce, whereas the man usually wants to work it out (this has splitting written all over it). All in all, I believe it’s a juvenile characteristic that people overcome sooner rather than later, given a healthy upbringing.
Any thoughts?
This all seems plausible. What it implies, and this is what I have come to get more and more convinced of, is that you can’t fix screwed up people. Some corners of the Internet, for instance, believe that you can “train” your girlfriend or wife. Yet, you won’t change an adult person. They are set in their way. Not even hitting rock-bottom will have much of an effect on them. This means that if your girlfriend isn’t acting like an adult when you met her, it is next to impossible that she ever will.
I’m curious if BPD can be healed. Gonna ask my psychiatrist tomorrow if I don’t forget it.
“it is next to impossible”
–> mhm… in any case it will involve an almost inhumane amount of invested time, if possible at all. No, 6 months won’t cut it.
Based on what I know, there is medication, which may have a positive effect. It is not guaranteed, which seems to imply that we put the label BPD on an entire cluster of disorders. That is also what you can conclude when looking at the list of symptoms, of which people suffer from only a few. Another issue is that even if medication helped — they are called ‘mood stabilizers’, by the way — the patient may well decide to do without, because she “does not want to feel numb”, “feel alive again”, or some other related excuse.
Aaron: (which seems to imply that we put the label BPD on an entire cluster of disorders.) Correct! Mental illness is often more complex than physical illness. They often just put people in a box for insurance. It’s the same with autistic people. Some autistic people are brilliant and can function just fine. Others can’t even learn to speak. The science involving the brain is mostly still theory. They often just drug people up and hope for the best. They are more focused on countering the symptoms instead of the problem. And they are making a killing on these med’s. And it’s all experimental. Even a good functional brain is still mostly a mystery to science. It’s hardware is more complex than the most advanced super computer. And we know almost nothing about the software it’s using. Even the the so called experts don’t really have a clue. And it’s not uncommon for them to screw people up even more.
I spoke to him yesterday. He argued that BPD can indeed be treated. It starts with the patient recognizing that they are sick and then begins the big learning phase that one is allowed to feel anything but don’t have to act on it*.
Also, he confirmed what ben pointed at, which is that the lines are blurred when it comes to distinguishing between say BPD or manic depression or a multi-generational neurosis.
*Example: The day I have kids and they display stubborn behaviour I will hopefully have learned that it provokes anger in me similar to the one provoked by my stubborn mother when I was little. But I must not get mad the same way at the kid being a kid vs getting mad at my destructive mother. Feeling = OK. Hitting the child because of my mistaken anger = Not OK.
Very interesting. When did you first reveal that you were married once? I haven’t had time to read through your blog frequently in the last year or so.
That was probably a few years ago. I divorced her last year.