In the current Open Thread, a reader left the following comment, which I consider downright bizarre:
I really think guys put WAAAAAAAAAAYYY too much stock into what a woman looks like. (…) There’s this HUGE myth out there that hotter women are funner to be with, give better sex, are better educated, are best suited to do well in whatever job they’re applying for, etc., and nothing could be further from the truth. That’s not to say looks aren’t important – you’re attracted to what you’re attracted to. However, it’s rare to find a girl who is physically attractive and has a great personality, among other things. Most of the time women will rate high in the looks department but rate low in the personality department, or vise versa.
Let’s pick it apart.
The general problem with that kind of argument, which you will encounter in many variations, and not just related to women, is the underlying assumption that the world is just in some way. I have heard people make the claim that — I’m paraphrasing — yes, they may have had shitty grades or lack some important skills, but they are “great team workers”, or have a “winning personality”. I have had bullshitters tell me that they can’t do X, which is an integral part of the job they are applying for, but they could learn “anything” to get the job done. Yet, nothing in their biography lends any credence to that claim.
In reality, though, if you are good at something, you are likely to be good at other things as well, even unrelated ones. For instance, I have frequently encountered people who excelled at mathematics who were also very competent musicians, or guys who are really great at their job, and also know more about some arcane subject than people who have a degree in it, say engineers who have a deep interest in WWI military strategy. Heck, I know at least a dozen people who got a “real” second Bachelor’s or Master’s degree while working full-time, just for fun, just like I met academics who publish papers outside their speciality, in completely unrelated fields, to keep their minds engaged. Of course those people are rare, but those examples clearly illustrate the point that excellence is an overarching personality trait. (Oh, and if you now want to shout “bullshit”, keep in mind that I’m writing from a Continental European perspective. We normally don’t pay for higher education so you can study as much as you want. It’s not “free”, though, because we get fucked in the ass by the taxman.)
Looks are, perhaps surprisingly for some, largely an expression of your work ethic. Sure, if you weren’t graced with a dominant chin or prominent cheek bones, your only recurse is cosmetic surgery, but if you have a shitty hair cut, dress like a hobo and are fat, you really don’t have a good excuse. Being slender and toned requires that you eat healthily and lift weights at least every once in a while, or stick to a bodyweight workout routine. Healthy food is cheaper than crappy food, and a moderate workout routine takes less time than daily Call of Duty or Destiny sessions with your buddies on your Xbox.
If you want to bulk up, without using ‘roids, you’ll need to show even more discipline. However, chances are that if you are disciplined with regards to X, you will also be disciplined with regards to Y. On a related note, this is why some companies like to hire former athletes. It’s not so much that they are “great team players”, but because they have already shown that they can stick to a plan and follow through. They don’t merely claim to be ambitious but have proof that they are. A much weaker instance of the same principle are companies who hire people “with a college degree” or a “quantitative degree”. It’s not so important what your degree is in, but they want to see that you were able to show up four years in a row, or show up and occasionally juggle some numbers and variables. You can already hear the bullshitters in the corner protesting that a degree is just a piece of paper or that you can learn everything on your own. There is some Tim Ferriss-wannabe (Scott Young) who built a career claiming he finished an MIT BSc in one year, even though he just went through a very small subset of the materials, which he pulled from an online source. The stupidity of people is just unbelievable.
Now, let’s get back women who look better. You can absolutely make the claim that a woman who looks better than the average overweight “sloot” has the following going for her:
. a positive self-image
. a realistic appreciation of dating dynamics
The first bullet point one is obvious, the second one follows from the fact that she makes an effort to look good as she, surprise, does not want to look bad. She knows that she couldn’t stand looking at herself in the mirror if her arms were flabby or her tummy not flat, so she religiously goes to pilates or yoga, or her spinning class or whatever. Third, she knows that if she doesn’t look good, she won’t be able to land a decent guy. Now compare this to Feminist Fiona who could easily lose 40 pounds, secretly wants Brad the Jock to fuck her, but instead of working hard, rather goes on an SJW crusade on Tumblr and Twitter, deluding herself that she will be able to shame top-shelf guys into fucking uglos. Ain’t gonna happen, sister.
I would easily go as far as to claim that hotter women are more highly educated. Part of the reason is also the idea of getting an “Mrs.” degree. If you haven’t experienced it yourself, I can only tell you that you would be surprised how much better looking than the average young women at selective universities are. No, you won’t easily find whores full of tattoos, so if that is your definition of “hot”, you’d be out of luck. This is similar to the fact that you will find hotter women in cities that provide better job opportunities, as ambitious women go where successful men are more likely to be.
Of course, good-looking women have a leg up in the job market as well. Why shouldn’t they? Taller guys get hired more easily too. No, looks won’t easily compensate for shitty grades or lacking skills, but ceteris paribus you will do a lot better if you are better looking than your competition.
The absolute worst part in the comment above, though, is the claim that there is an negative correlation between physical attraction and having a great personality. That’s complete fucking bullshit. Go out and talk to your random Five, Six, or even Seven. Chances are that they hate the world because they think they should have been born hot. It’s even worse with women who could easily be an Eight, if they only made an effort. Unattractive women tend to have by far the worst attitudes and personalities. If you think otherwise, you should pull your dick out of the vaginas of the uglos you fuck and experience good-looking, balanced, fun women with pleasant personalities. The uglos resent average guys approaching them because they know they can’t get anything better, but refuse to accept it. On the other hand, an attractive woman knows that she is attractive to many men, so she only has to wait and turn down a few suitors until a guy she deems worthy to spread her legs for shows up.