Two months ago a friend of mine sent me a picture of a poster that announced the summer party at the tech company he works at, a place with over 1,000 people, so it is a large organization. About half of the employees are women in adjacent roles like customer support who are likely on the brink of mostly getting replaced with AI. Anyway, the corporate poster promised a fun event. They had rented a hip venue in his city. There would be booze, some techno DJ who was big three years ago, and a few hundred people in their 20s and 30s. It would be like a typical club night out, expect that the people were not as attractive and also much more homogeneous.
The most remarkable aspect about the poster was that it showed a chick in a bikini with fake tits, but not comically big ones, and a buff dude who was half-naked. This went well with the summer theme they were going for. However, any thirsty tech bro getting his hopes up was surely not pleased to read the warning at the bottom of it. Here it stated that this summer party is “100% a company event” and that the “community guidelines and code of conduct apply”. Basically, if you ended up talking to the wrong woman, or ignore mid-tier Jenny from customer support who has a crush on you, you would be likely to get invited to a meeting with HR the next Monday during which they thank you for your years of service before escorting you out of the building.
Personally, I avoid corporate events as much as I can as nothing good can come from it. At some companies there are strict no-alcohol policies, which seem to be liberally ignored. There is little worse than semi-drunk women from your office floor hugging you for half a minute after some company event. It is utterly pathetic, in particular if you are dealing with the typical wall-hitting woman in her early-to-mid 30s who is preying on every man in her vicinity. As a pro tip, if this ever happens to you and some former Stacy hovers around you, waiting for her chance to wrap her arms around you, pretend you are getting a phone call or message, and use this to exit the scene as soon as possible.
The modern workplace is a lot of fun, really. It is so much fun that I know of managers who only have team events when there is someone external present, a so-called “facilitator”. You don’t need those people, but their benefit is that they make the atmosphere particularly awkward and everybody has an excuse to GTFO as soon as possible. Another issue is of course the rampant diversity. At a corporate party, you therefore see blacks talk to blacks, Indians talk to Indians, and the occasional white woman pretending that race only exists in the imagination, forcing herself to be friendly with everyone except white men.
My buddy did not know how the party went, by the way. He did not got, and neither did any of the guys he voluntarily talks to at work. There were no pictures on the company intranet either, despite their “culture team” otherwise being overeager to post about all kinds of bullshit nobody cares about. I am sure the party was super-fun, though. The flyer said so, after all.