I had a very interesting coaching call yesterday, in which one of the topics was shaming behavior. Of course, I won’t discuss specifics in public. Instead, I want to draw your attention to the general case, which is that a deranged woman could shame you for absolutely every choice you make. It does not matter what it is as she could easily interpret it so that your behavior is shameful to her. In essence, it is yet another application of the female double bind.
Let’s say you focus on your studies and don’t bother with women. Because you did not find any of the women in your social circle attractive, you prefer not to date anyone and the thought of having sex with any of the women in their late 20s or early 30s who proposition you because they realize that you might make good money soon causes you to inwardly throw up. So, little Jake does not want to date because he has more important things to do in life. What’s wrong with that? That’s easy. He’s obviously a loser for not getting a date.
Jack’s fellow student Joe isn’t so strong-willed and ends up seeing some woman he doesn’t feel attracted to. It’s what a man has to do, his father urges him. His mother likewise thinks he should find a “good girl”. Jake is a bit stingy, though. Because he isn’t a woman, he has a hard time getting scholarships. He also does not like to take out too much in student loans as he is aware that he is supposed to pay the money back eventually. Consequently, money is a bit tight. What’s the problem now? That’s easy. Obviously, Joe clearly does not care for the woman he is dating. Otherwise, he would spend more money on her.
Jerome, though, goes full cuck and thinks that you only live once. He also thinks that the Six he’s dating is the best thing since sliced bread, so he spends a lot of his disposable income on her. Worse, when his fatty of a girlfriend demands that he gets a better car, he takes out a loan. Perfect, right? But not only does Jerome wreck his finances for years if not decades, the demands of his spoilt girlfriend know no bounds. She says jump, he asks, “How high?” What’s the problem with Jerome? Obviously, he cares “too much” and tries too hard to please.
Let’s ignore the financial aspect and instead talk about looks. Chad is in his 50s and dates a hot 25-year-old. Obviously, he is shallow and superficial. He clearly is unable to handle a strong independent woman his age. Yet, would he date someone older, then others could complain about something else. There is just not way to win this.
It gets worse, though. Chad likely has to work for a living. If he finds a job he really likes and pays decently well, but not as well as some others, an entitled woman could say he is a loser for underachieving. There are bonus points to be had if that comes out of the mouth of a secretary who barely made it through her degree in Sociology. Yet, if Chad instead went for a job that maximizes his earning potential, which likely includes working long hours and travelling, then he can’t have his priorities straight as he valuing economic success more than a relationship. If he really cared for his girl, he would not work so hard.
Some people think you are a loser if you work. Amusingly, this includes welfare recipients as well as the independently wealthy. The welfare crowd might accuse someone trying to improve his lot in life of thinking that he is “better than them.” Among the wealthy, not living off investments could be seen as dirty. But let’s say you’re Joe Shmoe III and heir to a billion-dollar estate. You run one of the family companies, but of course women could now whine that you “didn’t build it yourself”. If you built it yourself, then it’s obviously due to your family’s money and influence. Yet, if you are Joe Shmoe the startup millionaire from a more humble background who defied the odds and built a company based on luck and hustle, then you are a “nouveau riche” and thus filthy scum in the eyes of some women who hail from old money. This is by no means a new phenomenon. You’ll find Latin texts where the author mocks the “homines novi” because they weren’t born rich.
Those were all illustrations that demonstrate the underlying principle: If someone wants to shame you for X, they can do so right away, but if you do the opposite of X, they only have to move the goal post and find something else to shame you for. You can’t win this game. Quite frankly, all of this is downright ludicrous. The only way to win that kind of game is by not playing it. This means that if you are tempted to get defensive because someone tries to question some of your perfectly rational life decisions, you are much better off just tuning them out.
You are an genius Aaron. Thank you. I have been shamed like on all but one example. You have opened my eyes. Thank you.
You’re very welcome.
I happened upon this article about that pop band Maroon 5. (I’m sure Aaron likes them since he has already admitted liking Taylor Swift, wink wink.)
Anyhow the band has a new album called Red Pill Blues. But it has nothing to do with the whole red pill manosphere thing. There’s an article about this album and the band has to do some damage control as they are being shamed into stating they are ardent feminists. (Although aren’t their songs about basic human attraction, like shake that booty…?)
Here’s the link: https://consequenceofsound.net/2017/10/maroon-5-acknowledge-that-their-new-album-red-pill-blues-has-a-terrible-title/
Whoever wrote that article is an idiot. It’s a fucking album title. It’s not a big deal.
The only way to deal with shaming is to not give a fuck what they think. People are going to dislike you for many things, no matter what you do, so you wight as well do as you please. Let them dislike it. Doesn’t mean they get to do anything about it.
Except they can get you fired, ruin your career etc. SJWs are working overtime to make all of these things punishable by law as well.
Whereas women could in the past only shame you with words… They can now increasingly make you pay a legal price for not living up to any given expectation.
Just one random example. Feminists are working at getting laws passed about pump n dump. If a woman for whatever reason expected a relationship (or marriage) and you don’t give it to her. You could be legally punished. It’s not just words anymore.
Under normal circumstances i would agree that dont giving a fuck is the way to go. We are living in strange times however. Feminism is losing popularity fast. Yet at the same time they are successful at passing laws that make things like pick up increasingly dangerous. And it’s not just feminist that you have to worry about. Most conservative judges will not think twice to condemn a pick up artist. Common terms in pick up like shit tests and token resistance are now used in court as evidence that these men are rapist. Pick up artist are increasingly convicted of rape. Whenever a woman has regrets after drunk sex it’s considered rape nowadays. And simply accusing a guy in college is enough to ruin his life. The burden of proof is increasingly plased on the accused instead of the accuser. Sadly to say, there’s a witch hunt on guys that dont give a fuck. Everyone that doesn’t conform to feminist demands is considered a target. For example: They wont hesitate to call your boss for a internet post they dont like.
@Alek
Thats scary. Can you provide any links to that?
I am aware that some jurisdictions already regard cohabitation as marriage, but this would be a new level of ludicrous.
Yarara: It’s called rape by fraud or rape by deception. Rape by deception laws are not new. They are however pushing to extent them. Just google it and you’ll find plenty examples. One example would be from 2014. State Assemblyman Troy Singleton (D-Burlington) introduced the bill (A3908).
Yarara: In Israel you can even go to jail if you lie to a woman about being jewish before having sex.
Yarara: If you are interested in things about family laws etc. I can recommend a book called The feminist lie. It’s from a guy that use to work as a lawyer in the family courts. He explains things like the history of the duluth model. Unlike most books on subjects like this. This is a very easy to read book. It also gives you sources and quotes. Warning: It will make your blood boil.
You’ll be shocked how much injustice is done in name of the law. This book explains the way feminist have infiltrated and changed the court system in a understandable way.
Rape by deception refers to a crime where one gets sex through faking another person’s identity. An example would be going into one’s sister-in-law’s bedroom in the dark and sleeping with her by pretending to be your brother/her husband.
The Singleton bill in NJ referred to by ben is an example of such.
I’m not aware of any western jurisdiction that has laws (or introduced bills) that would broaden the definition of rape to include deceiving the other person about one’s intentions for the relationship. I’d be very interested to read about it if anyone has any links, though!
But if I self identify as a transgender african american jewish woman? Who are they to invalidate my feelings? *sarc*.
I heard about “rape by deception” in a case where a guy was pretending to be an adult industry model scout in order to persuade girls to sleep with him. But I thought that applied to that narrow set of circumstances, not plain old getting laid.
Karl:Tennessee and Alabama already have laws against rape by fraud. Literally against lying to get laid. In Israel there has been a case with a conviction. The guy went to prison. And in most of the Western world. You can be convicted for rape whenever you lie to get laid. Even if there isn’t any direct law saying so. They are changing the definition of consent. And the terms of a valid consent. These things are handled in the penal code. According to the penal code. A consent is not valid when it’s given under force, duress or deception. So when you lied to get a woman to consent. That consent is not valid. And you are now guilty of rape. It doesn’t matter what you lied about. If she feels you deceived her. It’s now rape. One of the main persons pushing for this is a woman called Joyce M Short.
Hypothetical question: if a woman tells you that she gives “amazing blowjobs” but ends up to be really crappy at it, can you sue her for rape, too?
Karl: The Singleton bill in NJ also included simply lying to get laid. It was presented as a bill against things like sneaking in. But the definitions are not clear. It can also been used for prosecuting for lying to get laid.
When people think of feminist. They think of the crazy purple haired screamers. There are however some people behind the movement that are very clever in getting things into law. They dont always have to pass a new law. They often try to change the legal definition of words. For example the duluth model is used to counter domestic violence. Law enforcement and judge’s are trained by this purely ideologic feminist model. According to the duluth model the primary aggressor must be arrested for domestic violence. This sounds fair right? Until you look at the definition of primary aggressor. According to the duluth model this isn’t the person that committed the violence. But the person that is most likely to win the fight if the situation would get out of control.(almost always the man) So in any domestic violence case. The police has to arrest the man. Even if he is the victim of a woman’s imposed violence. And this arrest can be used against him in family court.
Ben can probably find a link about a time when a woman royally fucked a man using the law with a false accusation. He can probably find two links. Maybe more that I don’t know of now. But assuming the laws are written to inherently fuck you as opposed to protect you is ludicrous. If all you do is read “the feminism lie” and takes your world view from that, you will be royally fucked before any feminist gets to you. That is probably not a bad book but can you even make a abstraction towards what they claim the law will do and why the law will do that.
Don’t be ridiculous. Family court has been set up for the purpose or royally fucking men.
It does however helps to be prepared. If you can prove that you have been falsely accused, you can send her feminist ass to prison for a reasonable duration. So, I actually recommend my friends to fuck random bitches to have some proof that she wanted it all through out. You can do this with Tinder very easily but its not impossible to do so in club pickups either. For instance, sending a dick pick on tinder and asking her how she felt after fucking you on the day after is sometimes the only thing you need.
As for nitpicking links, here is one that might interest you.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/woman-who-falsely-accused-soldier-11378894
:O I now feel like scrambling to check if radical feminism has seeped into the laws of my Asian country, and if we have any court cases remotely resembling that.
Don: (It does however helps to be prepared. If you can prove that you have been falsely accused, you can send her feminist ass to prison for a reasonable duration.) There are only a few cases a woman was convinced of that. Women are hardly ever punished for that. This only happens when there’s overwhelming evidence. The police has lost great amounts of resources. The guy was convinced of the crime he didn’t do. He was falsly imprisoned. She admits she did it all knowing she was breaking the law. And the story must be all over the media. They only do it to save face when the system fails.
Aaron S. Elias: (Hypothetical question: if a woman tells you that she gives “amazing blowjobs” but ends up to be really crappy at it, can you sue her for rape, too?) That would be great! Let’s try to push it into law! If you present it in congress. I’ll back you up okay? lol
Don: It’s not like i just read one book. I’m interested in this for a long time now. I’m mgtow since 2005. Long before the label existed. I have seen men close to me being destroyed in divorce. I have seen good men lost their children. And i was screwed myself in a lesser way. I experienced it first hand. My ex walked away with my hard earned money. (i wasn’t even officially married) That’s how i got involved with men’s rights stuff. I couldn’t believe that the law was used this way. So i started to look into things. Family law is like a minefield. And you’re asking what mines? To a guy that already lost a leg. I use to shelter guys in my own house who became homeless after divorce. I use to help guys back on their feet after divorce. Because these guys had no place to go. I did it from my own money. Because no one else cared about their suffering. Everyone else was helping the gold digging whores.
Yarara: (I heard about “rape by deception” in a case where a guy was pretending to be an adult industry model scout in order to persuade girls to sleep with him.) Yes. I dont know what case you’re talking about. But a guy went to prison for it in my country.
It’s a shit thing to do. But we are talking about girls that are willing to whore themselves out. It’s not like they weren’t consenting to the sex. They were stupid sluts. It’s not like they where innocent angels. They just didn’t get what they wanted. To me it’s about the same as fucking a prostitute without paying. That’s why prostitutes ask money up front. To me it’s theft. Not rape.
@ben
After trying to look it up again on google I see the “porn scout” scenario actually happened more than a few times in different places.
I agree it should be treated as a kind of fraud rather that a type of rape. Kind of misleading advertising. Im no lawyer but the feminist line apparently goes along the line that the consent is not valid if it was based on false information, ergo sex without consent=rape.
Problem is that even if you follow this line of thinking, there usually is no way to really know if it was the false bit of info that convinced the person to consent to sex or if they would have fucked anyway because she found him attractive enough.
There are some problematic cases where the woman slept with another man than she thought, for example there is one who slept with a friend who crept into her darkened bedroom thinking it was her husband… but Id say the responsibility lies on her for not making sure of the identity of the other party.
BTW i believr if a man fuckd a girl who turns out to be transgender, and he/she did not disclose it is a comparable case, but again Id consider it fraud rather than rape.
Is it safe to say that the sexual harassment allegations charade has “jumped the shark” now that Rebel Wilson has joined the ‘I was harassed trains?
Link: http://www.breitbart.com/big-hollywood/2017/11/13/rebel-wilson-describes-multiple-experiences-horrific-sexual-harassment-hollywood/
Then again there may be chubby chasers in Hollywood given it’s a deranged industry.
What’s that whole stuff with “nouveau riche”?
Why is it such a bad thing? Like, wasn’t every “vieux riche” a “nouveau riche” at some point in time?
Someone in the family history is gonna have to be the hustler and to the risky shit, that can go horribly wrong, and then future generations can live off the boring single digit returns “normal”/”boring” investments give you – provided a) the returns beat inflation and b) the principal is large enough so that there is no cash drain and compound interest can happen.
Looks like short sighted jealousy to me, all that “nouveau riche” shaming.
Of course it is. For old money it does not even matter how that fortune was made. It is irrelevant if it is the result of fraud, corruption, or anything shady, unethical or in any way illegal — as long as the money was inherited, it is seen as clean. Yet, if you are a noveau riche who made his money ethically and legally, some people hailing from old money view you as dirt.
I was once told by a very wise man that you shouldn’t come with a problem if you don’t have a clear solution in mind. Based on that wise tradition, what do you suggest is the solution to this problem of feminism royally fucking men in family court?
That very wise man strikes me as a bit of a moron, to be quite frank. It’s a statement of a similar arrogance and stupidity as claiming that the status quo is the best there is because otherwise things would be different.
The solutions are 1) societal change, for instance by kicking out leftist judges and lawmakers, and 2) if you are a Western man who wants to get married, be aware of the risks and try to mitigate them.
I understand that marriage is a joke even if you get to marry the queen of France. I also understand that having partisan lawyers is bad and that society (you and me) must do something about it. Unless I am living in a different countries all together, I don’t see such false rape accusations amounting to anything here.
In fact, in India you might be lynch mobbed before you ever go to court if you are accused of rape but I don’t see it happen anywhere else. India is a shitty place anyway. Literally since, people there sometimes takes the same by the road side among many other people who don’t give a shit about shitty behavior.
One guy even told me that in some countries the family court proceedings don’t go beyond a few sentences uttered before the man is convicted for hundred years because she just have to say “I am scared of him” after accusing him of rape. Even if there is no evidence. From what I understand, you can’t just make an accusation. The burden of proof is on the accuser and not the accused. Just mentioning that you are scared of someone is not a proof of anything.
Don: Rape isn’t handled in family court. Although they are pushing to get domestic violence into family court. But it’s not yet. The upsetting thing about family court is that you dont have to do anything to be convicted. You can be ordered to pay child support for a child that isn’t yours. The family court system is basically made to transfer money from men to women. You can do everything right as a man and still lose everything. Rape is handled in criminal court. But even criminal law is now being polluted by feminist ideology. They abuse the rules that should protect victims of unnecessary trauma. And our domestic violence laws were made on feminist ideology instead of reality. It’s a total shit show. Men should be aware of it. And maybe ask themselves if it’s even worth taking the risks getting involved with women. Maybe you can start with learning the difference between family court and criminal court. No offence but you seem to be a bit ignorant when talking about law. You should educate yourself.
Ben: What do you think is a immediate solution to this problem?
Don: There is no democratic solution. You can’t reform the system because women are the majority of voters. They will never willingly give up on their privileges. The only thing you can do is protect yourself as much as possible. Untill society breaks down completely.
My personal advice would be to leave the Western world. And watch it burn from a distance. Thats what i’m going to do.
Ben: Thanks for your ideas. I don’t already live in the western world. I don’t see anything close to what you say about feminism here. But I know that feminism isn’t non-existent here.
So, let me ask you a question here. What would you chose between Thailand (mainly Chiang Mai) and Germany (Berlin) to live part of the year based on the two factors, Quality and availability of girls and opportunities to monger, Quality of life weighted heavily on safety? if you know, include the business prospects in your answer too. If you have another cities that better fill the mold, don’t hesitate to mention them too. Thanks.
Don: (The burden of proof is on the accuser and not the accused.) That’s how it should be. But that’s not always the case. Example: One day you get your paycheque and notice that it’s only 60% of the normal amount. There is a notice that this is because they took child support payments directly from your paycheque. One problem, you dont have children. WHAT happened? Some girl you use to know have put your name down when asking for government assistance. She gave a old address. The court sends a invite for a courthearing to that old address. And you didn’t show up in court because you didn’t know. Congratulations! you are a father by default. You have no paternal rights. But you will pay for the child that isn’t yours. And if you dont. You will go to jail.
I asked about the above father by default comment you made from my uncle who is was prominent lawyer and was then a later a judge and now is retired. We even got a currently practicing lawyer friend of his to give input on the current laws. The conclusion we came to is that Bens’ pants should be on fire (like a nuclear explosion) because you just lie through your teeth. What you said has a kernel of truth though. It is true that father by default was found in one case in the USA. (i.e. hell) There are countless other countries where case law is interpreted differently. Heck, there are other countries where you can get a divorce recognized everywhere for few hundred dollars and the other party (i.e. the wyman or bitch based on your preference) don’t even have to be there. Its just like in some countries, homos are not recognized under law as married even if they get married in the US.
I hate that Americans think theirs is a big country big enough to engulf the whole world. There is a whole different world out there ben the American lier. In the off chance you aren’t really American, why are you reading American law to cite law relevant to us in the rest of the world.
Isn’t that case bad enough? Surely that guy could not in any way benefit from the fact that there are jurisdictions where the complaint by the woman would have thrown out right away.
Don: For me that’s a easy choice. I’m moving to Thailand myself next year. I’m moving to Hua hin. But i also like Chiang Mai. Chiang Mai is much cheaper than Hua hin. I dont know your budget or circumstances. So it’s hard to advice anything. If you have some money and you are able to make the right connections. I would say Thailand. If you are a arabic speaking muslim without money i would say Berlin. Either way i would advice you to take some time and do some research. Specially before you invest money. And you should take a good look into immigration laws. I’m moving to Thailand on a non immigrant B visa. You’ll have to invest a minimum of 2 mil THB to get one. If you are over 50 you can get a retirement visa. But there are more options.
Don: (aren’t really American, why are you reading American law to cite law relevant to us in the rest of the world.) I’m not a American! I use American law because it stands as a example of the Western world. And most other Western countries follow their models. Sometimes little different. But largely the same. Sometimes a little better. Sometimes a little worse. It depends on what Western country you’re talking about.
And only found in one case? a judge? a lawyer friend? I call Bullshit! If you’re really surrounded by law practicing people. Than how can you dont even know the difference between family court and criminal court? Who’s the lier here?
Don: The example i gave isn’t just happening in America.(on large scale btw) It’s also happening in other Western countries. I’m from the Netherlands. And it’s also happening here. There are plenty of men here who become father by default. Sadly my country copies some of the worse American bullshit laws. Ever since the so called liberation from Germany. My country has pretty much been like just another American state. Just a little different. But largely the same.
Ben, fyi, Don is a troll
Ben: Lets forget about our disagreement. We are both going to go to Thailand so lets focus on that. I have not heard of Hua Hin before so I am quite interested in your take on the town. I know Chiang Mai is cheaper but I am willing to spend more on quality. I know I should do my research but can you give your ideas about Hua Hin in terms of the criteria I mentioned. Namely, quality and availability of girls and mongering opportunities as well as quality of life weighted heavily on safety. I did some initial research and found out that Hua Hin is safer than most other parts of the country.
Don: Hua Hin is more or less becoming the Beverly hills of Thailand. Depending on your budget you can also get a home within a walled off community. There are a few of them surrounding Hua Hin. If you have a lower budget you could look just outside Hua Hin in towns next to it. It has one of the lowest crime rates in Thailand. It’s mostly rich thai people and retired European people that live there. It has a high class university so no shortage of young Thai women. If you’re looking for bargirl’s however, it’s not the best place. There is some prostitution going on. But it’s not much compared with other places. You have to be careful with buying a home however. There are some shady people that scam people in the housing market. Better to rent something. If you’re looking for opportunities for making money. Again be careful (Thailand in general). You need Thai partners to make some money. And never never never buy a bar! Dont get involved with the prostitution biss in any way. You’ll regret it if you do.
Don: Cha am is a city next to Hua Hin. It’s a popular holiday destination amongst Thai people from Bangkok. It’s about 1/3 of the Hua Hin price to live there. It’s also a very nice place to live. Again not much prostitution. But lots of girls coming from Bangkok looking for a good time. Cha am is a great alternative if Hua Hin is above your budget. And it’s only a 15 min drive from Hua Hin. It’s still more expensive than Chiang Mai. But if you look around you can find condo’s for about 15000 THB a month. A small villa with pool for about 20000. And if you have more money. In Hua Hin you could have a dream house alla playboy for about 200k a month. If you want high quality girls but have trouble picking them up. Sugar baby’s going to Hua Hin uni would be the way to go. Dont try pick up in the small surrounding villages. They are more traditional. They will kick your ass if you go to far. This isn’t a high prostitution area. So dont treat girls like prostitutes.
Thanks for the input. I’ll check out Hua Hin more.