As I’m currently going through notes I have collected for a book on relationships (don’t ask me about the release date, please), I came across a few observations I wrote down, which I’d like to share. One topic I spent some time thinking about, not only as it has been of paramount importance for myself, was how to find a woman who is suitable for a long-term relationship. Here is a note on the kind of woman that is not suitable:
As we are all well-aware, there is a plethora of whores in the West. Countless women whore it up in their youth, and once they realize that they are running of guys to fuck, they try to change their image. Some clean their social media profiles, others even change their appearance and claim that they are, like totally, conservative now. A prime example I recently wrote about is YouTube personality “Blonde in the Belly of the Beast”.
Here is an example of a woman I met a total of two times before I concluded that there was definitely something really fishy about her. The discrepancy was that she had clearly mastered the rather aggressive whorish flirting style, but for some reason showed restraint. I didn’t have the impression that she was a cocktease either, though. Her clothes were pretty boring, but the odd thing was that they were well-selected and drew a bit too much attention to her physique. Girls who are genuinely clueless about clothes don’t manage to do that.
She “loved” studying, claimed to do a lot of sports, and was “more of a homebody”. It seemed to me that she tried shoving all of this too much down my throat. Either way, I did some digging around online after I first met her, and noticed that her supposedly clean Facebook profile had a few discrepancies. For instance, there was a surprising number of references to weekend trips, and some of those cities you really don’t want to visit twice. The pictures she put up didn’t make much sense either. It seemed like a front to me. It didn’t take me long until I found a different picture on the profile page of a friend of hers — and the outfit on there was a lot different from I had seen that faux-mousy girl in.
I was still curious, so I asked her out again. This turned into the silly “I wait two days before I reply” game, which seemed ludicrous to me. In the end, we set up a date. We met relatively early, at around 4 pm, and I had a trap prepared. I asked her whether she’d like to drink some wine. Her immediate response was, “Sure!”, with a whorish grin on her face, but she quickly added that she “basically never drinks”. A more plausible response would have been, “Don’t you think that’s a bit early?” I also probed a bit regarding her travels. She claimed that she often travels to nearby cities X, Y, Z because she “likes them”. Yet, she has neither friends nor family there. Thus, I wondered if she then stays in hotels. No, she normally “works something out”. At that point the facade collapsed. She really needs to work on her story if she intends to trick a guy into a relationship.
I had figured her out! Or, let’s say I had figured out her story well enough: She had transferred to a different university after her second year, possibly because she’s been whoring it up too much. In her current city, she was rather far away from home and claimed to not have made many friends. I guess, that’s because she only studies, works out, and reads the bible. However, she travelled, either alone or with girls she knew from the city she lived in previously, to cities they could reach within a few hours — and this was where she did her partying and whoring. She was a faux-prude back home, but a whore anywhere else.
I don’t know how common this is. It’s probably a bit rare, seeing how shamelessly Western women engage in slutty behavior. However, there is a clear analogue in the business world, as there are plenty of women on business conferences who willingly engage in no-strings attached sex as they are far away from their boyfriend or husband, if they have one. If not, then at least there won’t be any of her friends around to judge her. It’s essentially the same behavior Jenny and all her slutty friends exhibit on spring break, with the exception that those women are more discreet. Underneath, they are the same, though.
Chicks that proclaim their everlasting love for you one day, then two days later see you using the local wifi to check up on the new titanfall 2 patch notes and accuse of of being shady and texting “someone”.
There is a more fundamental underlying principle: women tend to accuse men of actions they consider themselves or have engaged in. That woman most likely texted other guys, for instance. Other examples are women who accuse a guy of cheating on her, even though they fuck other dudes behind his back.
I believe the behavior is called “projection” and if a SO routinely accuses you of cheating, this is a common explanation for it.
Having been at tons of business conferences, the level of hooking up can be startling. For single women, many are not particularly discreet about how active they are. They won’t explicitly talk about it but they often don’t do a great job of covering it up. Honestly, if you can keep a conversation going and give off a non-judgemental vibe, you will frequently be amazed how much information people will let slip. I have had women mentioning past behavior that staggered me, but I did not react, and they went on to disclose more.
Thanks for these articles, they are a constant reminder to have my guard up while dating.
Ah, so it’s like they’re projecting their guilt on you…now that you mention it…I got flak once for a dream a girl had about me where I had slept with another woman.
There is a double standard to all this that I’ve noticed. If a girl is acting sketchy and exhibiting dodgy behavior, and the guy calls her out on it, then he’s like some sort of abusive, insecure prick and deserves to be punished for being such a beta male weakling.
I’ve heard the exact same nonsense — as if it was my fault that she dreamt of me hitting on or fucking some other chick.
(I have thoughts on the OP, just bear with me through my intro)
It’s funny, because I undertook self-improvement before encountering or reading anything in the PUA-sphere or manosphere. For reference, I am a short (5’5), bi-racial male.
I am so glad that I avoided most of the “reading material.” Just by using my common sense, I realized that a) getting a top-tier physique would help me, b) finding interesting hobbies would help me, c) that obtaining a high status career would help me, and d) that obtaining a high personal income would help me.
Magically, the further I moved along the parallel paths of a-d, the better my results with women. Not only that, but I received increasing respect from other men as well.
Your material is the only material that repeats common sense. Of everything I came across (a friend was inspired by my journey and showed me a lot of the material — he hadn’t read anything by you), yours is the only true road to success.
Just. actually. be. a high value man.
An example of the silly thought process aspiring ‘PUAs’ have: my friend asked me how to pull from clubs as a short man. I told him “simple, buy bottle service at a table and go with a large crowd of people — include some women in your group if possible. Or, learn how to dance — very very well — take classes consistently for 6 months to a year.” This upset him, and he started to argue with me. He then started talking about all of this nonsense regarding DHVs, and ‘over the shoulder’ talk, and on and on.
Why argue with common sense? I will never understand. It is easy to make up a bunch of stupid stories. It is easy to ape silly ‘over the shoulder’ body language or whatever. The advice I gave him requires building a lifestyle to support obtaining women and therefore requires much more effort. He would have none of it.
With regard to having the proper ‘alpha attitude,’ I told him “yes, you will naturally exude a calm, relaxed demeanor if you crack the top 1% of income — or even the top 10% will be enough for you to notice a difference. If you gain 20 pounds of muscle and add 2 inches on to your arms, you will notice a huge difference. If you wear an expensive, well-fitted, suit, you will also notice a difference. If you find a high status career that you are both good at and proud of, you will also notice a difference.” Again, he insisted on nonsense about “inner game” as if it just springs ex nihilo.
Which brings me back to you and this OP. I notice that my thoughts regarding women strikingly mirror your own. Most of the manosphere seems to realize that Western Women (especially Western White women) in this era are exhibiting many behavioral pathologies, to put it nicely. But what you notice that many others in the manosphere don’t notice is that most men are losers. Pure and simple.
I believe that personal self-improvement is the only path toward seeing women for what they are and getting out of a scarcity mindset where you create these idealized fantasies of women to better tolerate their complete insanity.
Half of the time I want to tell aspiring PUAs or self-improvers not to do it for women — not because you will not acquire more of them but because you will realize that most of them really are not worth it.
More whore red flags I have noticed:
When a girl proudly declares she drinks hard alcohol.
Whenever a girl tells you “I’ve never done this before” past the age of 18.
When a woman demeans you because of something outside of your control and insists on continuing to seek out your attention (this happens to me a lot — a woman will, out of nowhere, make a disparaging comment about my height and when I remove myself from the situation or ignore her, she will continue to seek me out almost wondering why I’m not making any advances on her)
When a woman who barely knows you insists on discussing sex with you or asking about sex (this also happens to me a lot).
When a woman who you barely know suggests taking part in a risque activity.
When a woman aggressively makes plans with you and flakes on those same plans (this one is always a headscratcher — more common with young women I believe)
When a woman insists on talking to you and being aggressive about seeking your sexual attention and then, unprompted, expresses concerns about you developing feelings for her (this one is too unreal)
When a woman has more than one male friend or seems to know a lot of guys and is touchy-feely with men (I don’t care what she says, she has fucked at least half of those men she’s hugging and joking with — do not make her a permanent fixture in your life)
I’m sure there are more, but most women simply are not worth the time. And, if you are hard up, go ahead and get yours. Otherwise, just go on a few dates first.
The old rules about dating are true and will stand the test of time: wait to have sex if you are not hard up. Get to know the person. Putting your dick in crazy is a mistake you cannot afford to make as a high value man. It will wreck your life.
Thanks for letting me share!
Thanks for contributing Mr. Nobody. The manosphere does preach self-improvement, but a lot of this works out in practice to be a matter of attempting to fake high value.
Come to think of it, it seems that most the Italian chicks that I have met (fucked or not )fits squarely into your definition of sluts. Though I fondly think that it could be their culture to be hyper-sexual or something. You banged lots of Italians? They are spicy.
I just can’t help to think they are born as caramels, delicious to lick and addictive.
But here is one thing I need to add: you are a little bit too lenient to Asian girls. They are interesting beasts in their own right.
Thank you for clearing out the narcotic haze that still retains in my mind. In the end, I can consider myself to be a lucky bastard. Through sheer luck I survived during my inexperience period.
I dont find asian girls that interesting. Care too much about money imo. No my sole focus is on white women. They are kind to strangers, elegant and intelligent and for them the world does not revolve around money. I would love to grow old with one of them.
Frankly some readers obsession with asian women on this blog I find to be mindblowing, really the assumptions you guys make about asian women its almost all wrong! As if being asian makes then perfect angels. I know since Im an asian guy.
Jon, you’re in your mid-thirties, according to yourself. You also claim that you’re a virgin. Do you see the problem with that? No, it’s not a problem per se, but if you really wanted to get a white girl, you better start getting to know them.
So yes Its probably true that asian women are more likely to be virgins, if thats what youre after, as far as I know. But I dont like the personality. I like the personality of white women more. They are so sweet, like angels, with gemstone eyes and golden hair.
To be honest, before you post this thread. I read a comment from Alek Novy that mentions European girls are sexually active quite early 14-16 years old. And I was like Oh My God… Haha.
Without his post, I would probably still have some reservations.
But comes to think of it, nah this is not a unique Western phenomenon. Japanese loves white dick, ya know? But they wanna wear yellow rings. Chinese were pretty fucked up too, if you entered some shady circles, like I did.
Would you mind sharing a bit about the “fucked up” Chinese you met?
I’m not sure I’ve ever said they start having sex at this age. They start racking up “socio-sexual experiences” is more accurate. Make outs, mini-relationships (without sex), much grinding, “playing adults” etc.
The average age of first intercourse is 15-16 for most girls… But that doesn’t mean they went from nothing directly to first intercourse. They were analyzing boys, making out with many etc… for a couple years before that.
If someone’s wondering who are they doing it with? They’re doing it with a small subset of the boys. A couple of guys are getting passed around and getting most of the girls at that age. The rest of the guys have to wait until later in life.
Sorry, that should have been “without intercourse”. The average age of first intercourse is 15-16, but they don’t go straight from “absolutely nothing sexual ever” directly to full-blown intercourse.
They ramp up to it to it over a few years obviously, which means they’re starting to get sociosexual experience a couple of years before that.
“Would you mind sharing a bit about the “fucked up” Chinese you met?”
https://www.quora.com/Do-you-need-to-be-friends-before-lovers-Why-or-why-not
– Here is one kind, you can scan her stuff a bit. Some of these girls technically let 2-3 guys fucking at the same time, or get passed around in my circle. I got a couple of shares too.
Physically, they are typically petite.
In the university where I studied, and in Nankai or Tongji, lots of interesting shady things occur:
– Luxurious cars sometimes drive by the universities main gates and drop many female students so they could walk back to their dorm. Occasionally, some of these girls look a bit too familiar, you’ve gotta see them somewhere around. They normally wear plain clothes, look bookish, but on that day, they dress quite a bit more fashionable, with good hairstyle and good make-up. They got some fashionable purse too, what does that tell you?
– If normal Chinese students in these universities stay dormant sexually and focus on their study all the times, why it is not hard to find a nice girl to chat with, asking them to sit on your bike so you can take them back to their dorm. Over a week of we-chat, you ask her to a local restaurant, with wines of course. Some of them don’t drink, others drink a bit. Over perhaps a month, you can ask them back to your room. Later you find out that they have a boyfriend who works in the Northeast. After having sex a couple of times, they start getting clingy, asking you to be their boyfriends. You shot back between me and the other guy, which one is better. They were then taken aback and told you outright not to ask such a thing?
Then, I got to bang some milfs too. Their husbands were of course not in Shanghai but elsewhere, and I think I am not the only one.
That’s just from my experience. My friend, let’s called him Zakhir, a Kazakh tall guy, focuses exclusively on middle class, well-mannered girls, and most of his chicks will turn any dude’s heads. If they are so nice, well why going back to our dorm at night at uncommon hours to take a nap at his place?
If you want to ever think of finding a good girlfriend from East Asia, I am not saying you can’t find them in China, I just say that you better go look for Korean girls. Take my words for what it is but during my years in Shanghai, I can’t fuck a single Korean, my friends get a few untypical one.
But getting a Korean girl to be young long-termed partner, and then a wife, is not easy.
Thanks for your detailed response! It is much appreciated.
For quora link, this is the profile I am speaking of:
https://www.quora.com/profile/Marjorie-Liu
I think a bit harder about this topic, I just want jot down some more thoughts:
1) The reason why Chinese girls seem like they are not slutty, partly is because the average Chinese guys are very passive compared to Western dudes. They are too busy bury their heads in their books and classes (they have no other choices), and when they ask these girls out, all they can do is to take them to dinner and try to form a long-term relationship before sex for like 6 months. The Chinese girls have always been in control.
2) If you like at Chinese pop culture, sexual prevalence is more obvious now than before. Now, this is more about girls from Hong Kong or even Taiwan. Checkout a movie like 一路向西 and you will see that the Chinese branch of slutiness just has a different flavour. Faked innocence goes in hand in with sexually provocativeness go hands in hands. You got a rather special combination there. Movies like these are not gonna be able to be produced in Mainland China, BUT, they could be transmitted to every bloody cities in Mainland. And girls who dress to that effect, ehem, are not rare in Shanghai or Beijing at all. Also, pay particularly to the glassy nerdy:
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Bw6TREcQmXU/hqdefault.jpg
archetype, can you guys guess to which audience these movies are trying to sell a pipe dream to?
3) In Mainland China, you will encounter this weird phenomenon when Chinese girls who dress to that effect keep posting stuffs in a hyper-oversensitive tone on their wechat profile. Sometimes it is “love is hurting, but a strong girl must remain steadfast etc.” To me, it is like a chalk being pressed against the blackboard, and that sound can cause a cringe, that’s how these stuffs are to me, cringeworthy.
4) Sex with many Chinese girls are strange. A Western girl can be outright opened on how to please you, like blow you, stroke you, lick your nipples and such a thing. Chinese girls just lie there and expect you to do all the works. It feels like you have to force rape her or something, but once you completely dominate them, they then can enjoy it. I don’t know how to put this but it is like you have to force her to go down on you, but when your cock is already inside their mouths, they can have some skills.
5) Obviously, girls can play the innocent inexperienced in sex very well, and that can fool some guys as well, I used to be fool once. It is like they try to pass the guilt of wanting sex to you, and let you do all the works.
6) In many Chinese campuses, students could live there over a decade. Why do they stay so long? They are studying for Master degrees in a completely useless field. But they simply can’t get out and do 9-5 jobs like in the US, they have no choice but to grumpily continue their hopeless education while try hard to learn English. In China, you can get a job by reference, by influence and with a whole list of certificates, including those that can prove your English proficiency. Times spending there can be boring and daunting, and lonely, and yet with no prior experience, they can’t even find easily an average job. This is especially true for girls in my university, it is an institution that train teachers, but the supply has overspilled the demand side. But then why do they enter these institutions without being interested in becoming a teacher? Because the National Higher Education Entrance Examination ( 普通高等學校招生全國統一考試) is just so hard and so soul crushing that they have to spend years to prepare for it in high school. Their math is not that bad, but the questions are just morphed into weird forms to just try to trick you. So here is the thing about Chinese math questions, they are not a typical math questions that demand logical thinking plus technical prowness, they are questions that are designed so you can only solve them by using some bloody arcane techniques that can only obtained by attending your teachers after-hours class (they don’t teach you those skills in school, they withhold it, why would they teach it? Their salary is massively deficient. Teachers have family too right, and with that kind of wage how can they raise their childrens?). What about English, for bloody sake, it they are taught well, they wouldn’t speak it so horribly after 12 years of studying.
A little of stimulation is fine? Right? A little bit of fun doesn’t hurt nobody, right? So why not give yourself in and enjoying life in a secret way then? Away from your family, poor and with no career in sight, may be by laying down with some chokes they could finally find and rely on some Chinese guys who have a future ahead (and with those prospects, they gonna hold themselves high and mighty, no sex, just dates). But they must keep their lips tight, mom and dad is waiting at home, what are they going to say? “Mom, dad, I crush my soul in this education system for so long that I almost want to vomit, and I have no job in sight. So now I give myself in to life, I am casting my net to get a worthy husband, to have a bit of stimulation on the side. ” They can’t say that, of course. How can they say that to their parents who still engage in some back-breaking agricultural activities? (Meaning they come from a peasant background).
I am not saying they can be your future wife, I just try to present their perspective, so that by doing so you guys can understand a bit out those “sluts”. Make no mistake, just because I humanize them doesn’t mean I am advocating that you guys should get them as girlfriends.