In this post I describe my first experiences with methylphenidate. I want to make it very clear that I do not condone any kind of illicit use or purchasing of stimulants. My backstory is that I went to see a psychiatrist because I was curious if I would get an autism diagnosis (“Asperger syndrome”), and in the course of that I underwent a battery of tests, not just related to autism but also the major comorbidities of autism. For the time being, I will keep it for myself whether I am a verified autist, but I am revealing that I received an ADHD diagnosis. I scored zero on the “hyperactivity” part of ADHD, but I have a mild case of attention deficit disorder that justifies treatment. There are two primary medications for ADHD, either amphetamine, e.g. Adderal and Vyvanse, or methylphenidate, e.g. Ritalin and Concerta. The psychiatrist I go considered methylphenidate more suitable in my case, so that is what he prescribed.
With the preamble out of the way, let us get to the meat of this post: Today I took my first methylphenidate pill (10 mg). The brand is Ritalin Adult, but there are obviously others. I am supposed to take up to two per day, one with breakfast, another one, if needed, during lunch. The positive effects of this drug are supposed to kick in about 20 minutes after taking it, and last for about four hours. You are not supposed to take them close to bedtime as this might interfere with your sleep. This post is a journal of my first four hours on methylphenidate. I only took one pill.
09:30
I get up, late, as it is the weekend, and go through my morning routine. I do intermittent fasting, so I normally only eat between 12:00 and 18:00, so I normally skip breakfast.
10:10
As I am supposed to take methylphenidate with some food, I prepare a small breakfast and take my meds. The pill is tiny and easy to swallow.
10:22
My wife involves me in a conversation about a Chinese friend of hers. I normally would have found idle chatting distracting, in particularly in the morning, when I first want to go through my to-do list. Not this time. There is some background noise in the house due to guests, which I perceive, but is just there and does not distract me very much.
10:30
I think the effect of the medication has fully kicked in. There is an odd sensation in my mouth, perhaps the onset of dry-mouth syndrome. My head feels a bit strange. It is not headache but there is some muscular tension.
10:35
The door to my study is open. The house is currently a bit busy, but the background noise is just there. There is a perceptible difference in my ability to focus. I used to have the habit of listening to music, either classic or retrowave, when writing or working from home, but it seems this is no longer necessary.
10:37
Background noise appears a bit muffled. I am doubting my own perception, though. I start to work on an article for my blog as I want to see how productive I will be when I am on these meds.
10:52
My wife walks into my room for some idle chatter, interrupting my writing. I can easily shift my attention to her and back. The moment she leaves, I return to writing, hardly missing a beat.
11:05
I am noticing a minor headache, perhaps a mild migraine.
11:15
I have finished writing the first draft of article for the blog. My phone was on my desk the entire time and I did not feel the urge to look at it once. Also, when I looked up a YouTube video for that article, I was able to go to that website, quickly identify a suitable video, and continue writing. Normally, I tend to get sidetracked a bit, for instance by at least skimming the channels of some of the creators I follow.
11:35
Within an hour, I have not only written but also edited a 1,300 words article for my blog. This is perhaps just half the time I otherwise need. While writing I did not even hear any noise around me. Now that I am done writing, and tooking a moment to reflect, I notice the sounds of the radiator and some background noise in the house.
11:45
I cannot help but think that I am a lot more mellow on methylphenidate.
12:10
I just published a 500-word piece, which I wrote and reviewed in 20 minutes, without listening to music, and despite some background noise at home. Methylphenidate seems to be a very potent drug.
12:38
I just published a 770-word piece, which I wrote and revised in 25 minutes. On a related note, for quite a while I have not had the time or the right setup to work on a book. With methylphenidate, however, I seem to be able to write one article after another, completely shutting out distractions. As a crutch, I used to shut down my web browser in the past. Right now, I have a few dozen open tabs but they just sit there, not tempting me at all to go back to them.
About two hours in, my initial impression is that methylphenidate, even at a rather low dose of 10mg, is potentially life changing. I do not recall having ever been this focused. In the past, I often wrote at night or late in the evening because that is when I normally find peace and quiet. This approach is not compatible with having a day job, though. In the last two hours I have already written more than in the last two weeks combined.
Speaking of side effects, the headache has subsided but my head feels a bit odd, as if it has been packed in cotton wool. I also feel some tension in my masseter muscles, but I do not clench my teeth, or at least I was not aware of it while writing. I will ask my wife to observe me for the next 30 minutes or so and tell me what she notices. My mouth also feels a bit drier.
13:00
I just spoke to my mother-in-law. In general, when I speak to people and the conversation is of the idle chit-chat category, my mind wanders quickly. I noticed that this still happened, but to a much lesser extent. On that note, 10 mg is the lowest dose for methylphenidate, so I wonder how much more I will be able to suppress distracting thoughts with a higher dose. In fact, this is probably the biggest benefit of this drug: you fully focus on whatever you are focusing on and you are not really concerned about anything else. You can even shift your focus back and forth with ease, reducing the cost of context switching drastically. As mentioned above, my wife walked in on me earlier when I was in the middle of writing an article, so we briefly spoke and I returned to the article I was writing on right away.
13:20
Fifteen minutes, 500 words. Methylphenidate is incredible. I also notice that the effect is starting to wane as I am getting a little bit more distracted by background noise, and I just caught myself wanting to click on some random links in my browser.
13:40
I just finished some errands, quickly and efficiently, fully focused on the task at hand. Performance gains are not comparable to writing but even my errands were done faster.
14:00
I start watching a movie in order to see how my perception changes. I opt for an Hollywood action movie. It is not deep but I am able to pay full attention. Without my meds, I may have stopped watching it after fifteen minutes or moved on to doing something else. Of course, it is a matter of debate if this effect is positive or negative.
Beyond
The effect of methylphenidate is supposed to last about four hours. This is perhaps on the short side. After about four hours, I certainly noticed that the effect was no longer as strong, but there was still a clear difference compared to my unmedicated self. Probably only after about seven hours had the effect completely worn off. I am currently revising this article, at around 20:30, and I notice how my mind focuses on subtle sounds around the house. I also perceive the very low radiator noise constantly.
The side effects I experienced were minor. There was some migraine-like headache that came and went. The feeling of my head being packaged in cotton wool persisted a lot longer but this was not particularly concerning. In fact, without actively paying attention to it, I barely noticed it.
I have been reading that people often feel a bout of euphoria when they start taking methylphenidate. I cannot confirm this at all. My mood was completely unchanged. Similarly, I cannot confirm a lack of appetite. If anything, I ate slightly more than usual, probably because I was a bit more active today than I otherwise may have been. I also noticed that I had to yawn twice at around 16:00, which I found highly unusual. I had slept well last night. Perhaps I was expending too many calories. Another hypothesis is that this was due to the drugs waning, i.e. only at that point did it hit me that the movie I was watching was not all that engaging.
In summary, my first experience with methylphenidate has been highly positive. I almost get a bit wistful looking back at the past. Arguably, my life could have taken a much different turn had I been put on this medication twenty or twenty-five years ago, but not thirty years ago as one side effect of long-term use is inhibited growth. All throughout my adult life I have been having the problem that I care little for tasks I perceive to be a slog. I did pretty well academically, but on this drug I probably would have done even better. I would likely have found it much easier to pick a field and, more importantly, stick with it. I could probably have been much more well-adjusted with methylphenidate, with the consequence of leading a pretty normal life. I recall not wanting to hang out with women because their blathering gave me a headache. Well, this can be medicated away. This blog and my somewhat bizarre life story most certainly would not have happened on methylphenidate. In a parallel universe I am probably the accountant Aaron S. whose biggest ambition in life is to fit in.