We are told that “slut shaming” is a vile act and something basement-dwelling losers do who need an outlet for their pent-up sexual frustrations. Yet, that claim is so wrong it’s not even funny. Instead, slut-shaming plays a very important role in keeping society stable and weeding worthless women out of the dating pool. I’ll explain why.
Let’s discuss this issue via an example. Assume Alice is in a relationship with Bob. They live in a small town in which there is not a lot of randomly hooking up going on. Because Alice is a strong and independent woman, she goes on a vacation with all her strong and independent girlfriends and ends up getting banged in a dirty bathroom stall. She thinks nothing about it because “what’s in the past is in the past”, or something along those lines. Unfortunately, for her, Bob learns about Alice’s transgression. He kicks her out. Furthermore, he lets his entire extended social circle know that Alice is a slut.
Alice isn’t happy about this. News about her being a slut spreads. The quality guys she comes across don’t seem to be very much inclined in taking her out on a date, but they sure are willing to buy her a drink or two, trying to fuck her quickly and cheaply. It seems she can’t get anywhere in terms of sexual relationships in her town anymore. The only guys who are interested in her are those looking for a quick lay. Consequently, Alice gets very angry with the world, cursing “patriarchy” and condemning the systematic bullying she went through. Her only option may be to leave town and start over somewhere new.
If this sounds far-fetched to you, then go through a few women you know. Are there any among them who have a reputation for being easy? If so, how do you approach these, as opposed to women who are known for keeping their legs together? More likely, if you only wanted to get laid, you’d avoid the latter and focus on the former. If you are looking for a girlfriend, your priorities would be reversed.
Of course, you could now say that slut shaming is vile and evil. Yet, it serves an important purpose. In the example above, Alice has, by her own actions, proved that she is an untrustworthy partner. She also proved that any man who would invest resources in her is an idiot. Thus, for the greater good of society, women like her need to be slut-shamed. In the end, it is a matter of efficient resource allocation in society. Guys who want to get laid know who the sluts are, and guys who want a girlfriend know whom to avoid.
The whiny feminist response to this is that Alice is strong and independent and shouldn’t be punished just because she cheated on her boyfriend. That does not make a lot of sense, though. Actions have consequences. One of the favorite lines of cucks and sluts alike is, “what’s in the past is in the past”. I think there is a much more fitting phrase: “once a slut, always a slut.” If we, as a society, did not slut-shame loose women, men would be even less willing to commit and share their resources.
If slut shaming was going to do any good, it would have by now.
Slut shaming is doing a lot of good. Of course, you would have to be able to emphasize with men in order to realize that.
Without slut shaming there would be even more single mothers. All civilisations that didn’t control female sexuality destroyed them selfs. You can not let female sexuality roam free without check. Society will break down. Slut shaming is the most female friendly way to do it. The alternative would be by force. Men are not willing to invest time and money into sluts or their children. If women sleep around. Men will change their mating strategy from a K selection to a R selection. Men will simply spread their seed far and wide. They will not stick around to raise children of sluts. When this happens, society breaks down. This is what’s happening now. The governments are trying to prevent the break down with welfare and by making men pay child support. But this only makes women even more careless and makes the problems worse. It’s only a matter of time before we see a total societal breakdown.
“Are there any among them who have a reputation for being easy? If so, how do you approach these, as opposed to women who are known for keeping their legs together? ”
This depends on the level of experience and desperation of the guy. If Alice is his first lay at age 22, then, 10 years after having discovered that his dick is able to to something else than pee (hence 10 years of lonely jerking off), he might think: “but what if I can’t get another women?” and is likely to take her as a girlfriend.
Sure, there is the parental education factor, too in which the guy’s father might have led by example, but this is becoming rare nowadays. Cultural marxism driven destruction of the family unit, the resulting loss of values and feminism are a great team indeed.
Male desperation is a good point, which I didn’t consider. Still, those are beta men who think they don’t deserve a quality girl. The situation you describe clearly implies that Bob accepts Alice despite her reputation of being a slut.
Watch this video by prominent biologist and also atheist Richard Dawkins named Sex, Death and the meaning of life. The part I’ve linked is the part about sex. In its long forty minutes odd duration he explains why such customs such as slut shaming exists even amoung animals.
He comes to a rather liberal conclusion that we should let people do what they want but that is just an interpretation of the facts not the facts itself. Surely, if hold a position that we should think of society and its progress more that ones sexual satisfaction, you can come to the same conclusion you already have come up with now.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9mImY_8ki5g
You can’t maintain a society without controlling female sexuality. A society with sexual freedom for women will always break down. Just look whats happening now. And what happened in history. 100% without fail. Society will crumble when women have sexual freedom.
Shaming cheaters is good. Shaming sluts is not.
Slut shaming makes casual sex more difficult and leads to more cheating and frustration.
1. Why should casual sex be promoted or easy in the first place? Sex is made to make children, a not very casual thing.
2. Where’s the logic in saying that if casual sex is more difficult, then cheating increases?
Look man, it’s easy. Evolution created the orgasm to incentivize breeding. The problem is in holding the balance between the pleasure derived from the incentive and the goal of the incentive itself.
We, the “Replicator” are in that regard a very misfortunate mutation of the initial genetic pool. You can question the need for breeding per se, but fuck it (pun intended), it’s here and we have to deal with it. There are smart ways and not so smart ways to do that.
It seems though that selective application of breeding gets us further than indiscriminate fucking around. Rabbits have less evolved societies than humans.
So quit whining about how hard it is to get casual sex. It makes very little sense from an evolutionary point of view anyway.
On that note, birth control played an enormous role as a catalyst for the decay of civilization. Just imagine if sleeping around had serious effects. Let’s just say there is zero support for single mothers. If they get pregnant, they are simply fucked if they don’t come from a well-to-do family. (Of course, such women would have been raised to keep their legs together anyway.) The result would be some pain and suffering, but the mid- to long-term effect for society would be decidedly positive. Those hapless single mothers would serve as a negative example for their community, and the problem would resolve itself. It sounds bizarre to us today, but a mere sixty years ago, any Western woman with half a brain guarded her reputation. They would not even put themselves in situations where someone could make the wrong conclusions, for instance by mixing with the wrong crowd. Today, though, women proudly declare that they are “sluts” — and wonder why they never meet any quality men.
You are right that slut shaming makes casual sex more difficult. That’s the point of slut shaming. It’s a tool used to prevent women from having casual sex. But how does it lead to more cheating? Women in the western world cheat much more after the sexual revolution than before. They even cheat much more than men do. Most Western women have no moral values at all. Women have always cheated. But never on these scales before. Most women cheat these days. This wasn’t the case before their so called sexual liberation. Now i understand that slut shaming isn’t good for your interest. But it is for society. If women’s sexuality isn’t controlled. Society will break down. You can’t have a functional society when most women are sluts. It means the breakdown of the family. And if the family go’s, society will crumble.
He’s just fishing for backlinks to his blog.
Shouldn’t we slut shame men as well then? If slut shaming serves the purpose you assume it does in this article, it is imperative that the same practice be applied to men. That way both worthless women and men can be weeded out from the dating pool. A male partner who cheats is just as worthless as a female one, no?
While slut shaming does in fact accomplish what you prescribe as its “important purpose”, there is a far better method of identifying incompetent partners. How about simple awareness? Getting to know who your romantic partner is before committing. One should be able to identify a slut as well as a womanizer within a few dates or conversations.
Slut shaming is a really destructive and inefficient way to accomplish your prescribed purpose. Imagine if womanizers were shamed in the same way. It happens that slut shaming is a uniquely female problem, despite male sluts (womanizers) existing as well. Just look at the difference in connotation between a womanizer and slut, despite the two being pretty much the same in definition.
Sensible men do not want to marry sluts. Sensible women do not want to marry womanizers. Slut shaming does not contribute to this common sense.
Grace, your rambling does not make any sense because there is no male equivalent of a slut. A slut has poor impulse control and low self-esteem. On the other hand, for a guy to get laid you need to have something going for yourself. It is any combination of looks, money, and power. A girl, on the other hand, only has to follow along when some schmuck asks her how she’s doing. This is precisely why men who are successful with women are looked up to, while sluts are looked down upon.
What do you mean that men don’t get shamed?!??!
Did you miss the whole harveywood thing. Guys who try to sleep around are called sleazebags and creeps.
Only the top 0.1% are called womanizers. The rest get labelled creeps. Trust me creep is just as bad as slut.
It’s a common female trait to look at what privilege the top 0.1% get and project onto the male population in general.
The ability to sleep with a ton of women without creeping any women out is a high-level skill. It requires a lot of finesse.
Hint: the female equivalent are women who manage to sleep around in a smart way and not get that reputation of a slut.
On top, men get shamed for “not manning up”, i.e. for not wanting to marry some washed up reformed sluts who just hit the wall. Another aspect of shaming which is exclusive to men is “virgin shaming”.
Grace: I totally agree with Aaron on this one. Added to that. Investing resources on a slut is a huge risk for a man from a biological standpoint. Because a man wouldn’t know for sure any offspring is really his. That’s why men would never value sluts to settle down with. Men value women for their fertility. Women value men for resources and protection. Some crazy feminist theory isn’t going to change millions of years of evolution. Men and women are not equal. Men and women are not the same. We value the other sex for different reasons. And we judge each other on different behaviours. If you give your greatest value (your fertility) to other men as a woman. It would be more comparable with a man spending all his time and resources on other women. While you and your children are going without. Because that’s the greatest value men bring to women. In comparison with the greatest value women bring to men. Sex isn’t a equally valued commodity by men and women.
Excellent comment, Ben!
On that note, Grace, there is a reason why sluts are often referred to as “cheap whores”. There is just no equivalent expression for men. Maybe think about this for a moment or two.
It’s a horrible double bind.
– You get shamed for not getting laid.
– But if you try to get laid, you get shamed for trying to get laid.
Trying to make men feel pity for women being slut shamed is a tall order. Considering those same men have no such choice themselves.
A single chick could just not fuck every dick offered to her – bam no shaming for her.
A single man has to do what in order to avoid shaming? Oh just become one of the top 0.0001% of single men on the planet in terms of sociosexual skill. (And even then he’d get some shaming.)
Everyone else gets shamed for either not trying enough or trying too much.
The key phrase here is “single”. There is no magic quantity at which you don’t get shamed. You will always be shamed that you date too much or too little. But there is no correct amount.
That’s not a coincidence.
The shaming stops when you marry. You no longer get shamed as a loser who can’t get laid.
Ironically: even if you haven’t had sex with your wife for years, no woman will shut you down as a “loser who can’t get laid.”. Because that’s only a retort for unmarried men.
– Shaming single men is designed to get men to marry
“– You get shamed for not getting laid.
– But if you try to get laid, you get shamed for trying to get laid. ”
In western Europe it’s similar with success (mostly as an entrepreneur). If you “make it”, you cheated, you’re a bad guy and should pay more taxes and of course donate to the poor. But if you don’t make it, you’re just a loser – make some money already.
This is very counterproductive indeed.
Seems to be less pronounced in the US though, people appear to be more supportive of your success.
Neutralrandomthoughts:(In western Europe it’s similar with success (mostly as an entrepreneur). If you “make it”, you cheated, you’re a bad guy and should pay more taxes and of course donate to the poor. But if you don’t make it, you’re just a loser – make some money already.
This is very counterproductive indeed.
Seems to be less pronounced in the US though, people appear to be more supportive of your success.)
Yep!
When you make some money in Western Europe. You will be punished for it. The left will call for your head. It’s ridiculous. If i would withdraw my own money all at once. They would tax me into a heart attack. First you have to worry because you dont have money. Than when you finally have some. You have to worry about everyone trying to take it from you.
Hmm, it might be different where you are, but from what I’ve seen there is a level at which you don’t get shamed in terms of career or financial success. That’s right in the middle class.
With the getting laid thing, there’s no magic number of dates that’s “just right” and won’t get you shamed. It’s always either too little or too much.
I think with career success it’s getting a well-paying job, without rising high in the ranks. So a little above the average salary in your country will not get you called either a loser or a cheat.
Though again, it’s different than the getting laid thing. With career success it’s more of a “not acknowledging you won it fairly”.
– Basically it’s more envy than shaming with career success
– Shaming is a where a society tries to prevent you from doing something at all
It looks similar in some aspects, but those are actually two different things.
@Alek
Totally agree. Quite different. It just reminded me because however you do it, your reputation suffers.
With regards to the shaming of a guy who gets laid: I think you can be quite low profile about it as long as you live in a fairly big city, say 250k + population.
You can have a low double digit lay count and still not raise much attention.
Besides, all the fucking – do we really need it? I think even with my modest figures I have seen it, and any additional experience would be just marginal in terms of added value. OK, maybe one thing: I’d wouldn’t say no to a threesome, but from what I heard, it’s not that glamourous either, which makes intuitiveky sense, you have just one dick after all 🙂
I guess this goes in line with the min maxing thing. If you are average, things are not enough. But “slightly above average” is such a big field, there’s enough space to have enough lays to feel good about yourself but still too little to be shamed for it.
As for virgin shaming… I mean, I kinda want to say: yeah bro, get your shit together and do something about it.
The “womanizer-shaming”… I don’t know… if you’ve banged enough chicks to feel great, than why would you care about someone pointing fingers at you trying to shame you? If a guy has a problem with that then some other stuff is not right, too.
I rarely get the “oh you’re a player, pff you just fuck them” (super rarely), to which I say “hey, it just happened, it’s not my fault”, which is closer to the truth than people want to admit. If the girl allows it, things just happen. You know better than me that sex is just a step in the escalation ladder, not the first step, and not the last one.
So Aaron, are you finally ready to admit that you are now against seduction and wish to return to a more puritanical society? I REALLY wish you would detail your massive transformation from sex-positive seducer to conservative prude. What happened to you man?
Seduction is fine. There were whores in Victorian England, too. By the way, I hail from one of the most conservative areas of my country. That does not mean that I couldn’t have fun with sluts.