I was recently pointed towards an article disseminating a social sciences article in which the researchers wanted to explore why men rather spend time among themselves than with (Western) women. The journal article they refer to is Privileging the Bromance by Robinson et al. It’s paywalled research, though.
The key part of the article is the following:
There are however significant and worrying results here for women. These men perceived women to be the primary regulators of their behavior, and this caused disdain for them as a whole in some instances. (…) Much in the same way that women are portrayed in contemporary cinema as objects for male gratification several of the participants spoke of women they knew in a generally negative way.
The cuck who did the research is of course very concerned about Western women who are apparently having an ever-harder time securing a partner. Note the phrase “primary regulators of their behavior”. Having one failed marriage under my belt, I can tell you that this was one of the prime reasons why I eventually had enough. My demands on her were embarrassingly modest (be nice to me and stay slim). Hers knew no bounds. At one point she even objected to music I was listening to with my headphones. I don’t think any sane guy is willing to endure such bullshit for long.
The second sentence quoted above is a bit muddled. It presumably is supposed to express that the men who were interviewed generally view women in a negative light, as opposed to contemporary cinema, which generally focuses on physical desirability. It’s probably really tough being a Western woman who can only offer the double-whammy consisting of shitty looks paired with a shitty attitude. Indeed, my view on Western women could be aptly summarized this way as well. I did not mind decent-looking Western women for the purpose of gratifying me sexually, but the thought of spending time with a woman with a poor attitude sends a shiver down my spine. “Bromances” going mainstream arguably indicated that my views are not all that uncommon.
“At one point she even objected to music I was listening to with my headphones. ”
I understand you might not want to share this, but I have a question.
Assuming this did not hit you out of the blue, but was just one of many other unpleasant little scenes between the two of you: Didn’t you see that coming? I’m sure there were loads of indicators before and I’m confident that you have/had great social skills to see the red flags even if they’re hidden behind the best behaviour she put up in the beginning of your relationship.
The underlying issue was that she just couldn’t understand that the role of a wife did not consist of gradually curtailing the freedoms her husband enjoys. It just got worse over time. There were a few red flags, but I was under the assumption that we could resolve those issues. That was not what happened. As that was part of our deal, I left her.
This is something I experienced myself in a LTR. I told my girlfried from the very beginning that I had a couple female friends (no sexual interest, really. One of them was a deeply religious virgin-till-marriage type) and that I intended to remain friends with them, so if we were to be a couple she had to be ok with that.
But over time I increasingly got drama scenes whenever I wanted to hang out with them, which wasnt really often (once every 4 months maybe? Or longer). Sometime after we hit the 12 month mark it was suddenly not ok to hang out with my female friends anymore. When I reminded her of our deal, she said that our relationship had evolved and our previous agreements did not apply anymore for some reason.
Then it becomes problematic if you want to hang out with your male buddies too, because wanting to go to the occasional gathering of friends from school or college once in a blue moon instead of being with her is somehow “preferring them over her”.
I cant help draw a parallel to what abusive men do to their women. I am not an expert in psychology, but one of my best friends is, and he told me in a typical abusive relationship scenario the man tends to progressively cut his woman off from her social circles, isolating her with him as a means to control her. We were talking about battered women at the time but in retrospect I see women doing this as well, minus the physical violence in the later stages.
I bet many of you have seen or suffered the same.
This research could not have been more accurate to my life. I have a couple close male friends who are also fairly redpilled.
I’ve never even come close to finding a woman who could offer the level of insight and emotional support those friends have given me on numerous issues.
Thus, I continue to have casual sex with women and have never been in a relationship.
It works out beautifully.
Every time there’s a article like this. They only seem to worry about how it effects women. These guys are saying they dont feel supported by their girlfriends. They dont feel free to communicate with girlfriends. ( something women claim to be great at ) And nobody seems to care about the fact that men are unhappy within their romantic relationships. They only care about women not getting what they want. They shame these men for not wanting toxic women. They never ask the question “what are women doing rong”. Or “can women change their behaviour”. Their solution always seems to be. Man up ( bend over ) and worship the pussy.
Aaron, I understand that there are things that you don’t want to get into in a public forum. Having said that, are there any things that you can specify as serious red flags to avoid in a women before marriage? I say this because I assume that you thought she was a (very) high quality woman before marriage, so I’m expecting that she didn’t have any obvious markers like tattoos or a slutty history. There are some guys who need a damn intervention to see the monster they’re dating, but, knowing you, I feel her problems were much more subtle.
Again, I understand if you simply don’t want to go into details, but I would really appreciate this.
I intend to write a book on that topic at one point.