Open Thread

Open Thread #283

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34 thoughts on “Open Thread #283

  1. Aaron,
    Is there such a thing as “attachment styles” and their roles in relationships? It strikes me as nonsense since this notion is very mainstream. I constantly see women complain how they aren’t able to get that one particular guy, and they attribute this to attachment styles. Perhaps, if they were to do some basic deductive reasoning they would realize that Chad didn’t want to be with her because she’s a scandalous whore.

    1. Attachment style theory seems plausible but, just as you write, its application by women to random guys who do not want to stick around seems flawed. It is the case that men, in particular men with options, do not want to pair up with women with a high body count. This does not mean that the same guy necessarily has a problem with committing to a woman who is wife material.

    2. Maybe we gravitate(d) towards sluts during a period of our lives because we lean more towards having an avoidant attachment style, and eventually have the potential to work through it by various means in our thirties and develop a more secure attachment style.

  2. Aaron,

    Are there men out in the real world who buy masturbator gadgets? Here’s the so-called “Game Cup -Thrusting Vibrating Masturbator with Heating System”. It simulates an arcade game. The music in the background is pretty good. Apparently, amazon sells it as well.

    Men are better off paying a hooker than to buy some gadget.

    1. If men didn’t buy masturbator gadgets there wouldn’t be so many different models of them on market. For example there’s a sizeable online fan community for Fleshlight brand masturbation sleeves where they discuss the properties of different models. For true connoisseurs there is also a community for fans of japanese “onahole” sleeves, which are made of superior materials and construction.

      I don’t think most men are better off buying sex from hookers than using a masturbation gadget. I’ve been with prostitutes and I’ve certainly jerked off plenty. The relief and relaxation I experienced after climaxing with the hookers was basically the same as I feel after a good wanking session. Perhaps I’m not representative of the majority of men, but for me masturbation offers the same value for a fraction of the cost.

      I think the exception is guys who are virgins and have a complex about that. Losing one’s virginity with an attractive, well-mannered prostitute will at least fix that issue.

    2. By the way, it is telling that there is a huge market for masturbation gadgets in Japan, and that the Japanese are superior at designing and manufacturing them compared to western companies. Japan has had legal prostitution for a long time. Both escorts that make home visits and “health clubs” (brothels) catering to various tastes are highly available. Even students can afford to indulge once in a while. And yet there are so many Japanese men who prefer to invest in a quality masturbation tool.

    3. Part of the reason is probably that Japan does not have much of a hookup culture. They also have a fairly late marriage age. Thus, I can see where the demand for sex toys catering to men comes from. Even if hookers are cheap and plentiful, the convenience of just taking your “onahole” (great name!) out of a drawer is hard to beat.

    4. I think the amount of dopamine that releases after fucking an attractive woman is noticeably larger than just spanking off. Also, the latter just doesn’t compare to when a pretty girl is hungrily clawing off your jeans to get to your pulsing erection. An unenthusiastic whore would probably just leave much to be desired, though. But there’s a reason why even though masturbation is so easily accessible that guys still seek out intimacy with women, and I feel like you’re either lying to yourself or denying life to make a claim that jacking off using a silicone sleeve is just as good.

  3. My BetterHelp therapist forgot my mom died and when i told her that i missed her she told me i should call her.

    1. Have you watched videos showing homeless people in various US cities? I am not sure they eat significantly better than those people.

    2. I have seen those homeless with my own eyes. Unless they are mentally handicapped, they usually get expired food from Food Bank or something like that.

      In general, they still consume fast food but they don’t need to “excavate” foods from garbage.

    3. I have to stand with CQV on this one. Poverty in 3rd-world countries is just different, and worse. And I say this just after a 3-month stint in Oslo where I averaged more than 1 beggar accosting me the few times I went out to the city center. They thought I was a local apparently, or a European tourist, for whom parting with 20 euros (or the equivalent in Norwegian kroner) was trivial. If they had known what kind of pocket money I keep back home (where cost of living is much, much lower of course)…

      Coincidentally I was also briefly harassed by a lady of African origins who wanted me to collaborate in some way with some NGO for immigrants, but backed off politely when I told her I was a foreigner. No NGO for immigrants of Latin America, I bet, those exist only in the US, and often benefitting undesirable people.

  4. Some of you may have come across footage of the game “Unrecord”, which caused quite a stir as it is a first-person shooter that uses a bodycam view. Redditors do not like it one bit. In this context, I came across a comment in which someone mentioned the stylistically similar movie Hardcore Henry. I just watched it and warmly recommend it. It is a really over-the-top Russian action movie shot in an FPS perspective. The trailer is quite weak compared to the movie but gives you an idea of what to expect:

    The director of Hardcore Henry later on worked for Hollywood and gained more visibility due to Nobody. That one is not nearly as entertaining as Hardcore Henry but nonetheless ranks among the better movies Hollywood produced in recent years.

  5. I don’t know if anyone else can relate, but I find the idea of pursuing “free sex” completely illogical when I see what’s available out there.

    I rarely see hot girls anymore. Super rare. Most girls over the age of 23 have hit the wall. No that’s not a typo. I mean 23, not 33.

    I don’t know if the world changed or I did. I remember when I was in my 20s, plenty of women stayed hot until their mid 30s. I remember how hot I found a large percentage of chicks around me, and I’m talking in the ranges of 23 to 37. Plenty of chicks across that range were hot to me.

    Now that I’m at the other end, things have flipped. I rarely see a girl that doesn’t look “post-wall to me” even if she’s only 23.

    I think that objectively nowadays they get really flabby and doughey by the time they’re 23 or 24, and their skin ages prematurely and they look like 40 year olds. Or is it just me and my perceptions have changed?

    I’m at a point where I’m entirely focused on a future revolving around money, with an intent to spend it on escorts or sugar daddying once I achieve the goal. And also spend some on acquiring status.

    If an occasional freebie happens with the kind of fit chick who managed not to hit a wall, I see it as a bonus. But I can’t see myself proactively pursuing women. The ROI just isn’t there. I just assume the percentage is too low to even bother.

    1. Also I spent many years investing in a business that brings status, and then COVID took it all away from me, right when it was exploding and about to go massive in both money and status. Been recovering slowly and things are starting to look good. If things go well on the money side, I will be able to relaunch the status side of it quite quickly.

      So I guess I will be able to report back what happens when you have status in your late 30s and your 40s. Though ironically I no longer care.

      I’m not attracted to most chicks, and if they start hitting on me like the last time I had status, I honestly can see myself just getting off on the attention and not taking them up on it. And then going home to bang the paid 22 year old escort or sugar baby.

      Am I weird?

    2. I just came back from a vacation in Plovdiv, Bulgaria, where I have family. It’s a pretty big city and has the reputation of having the most beautiful girls in the country, as evidenced by the old “тайна майна” joke.
      I remember that about 10 years ago, I’d walk up and down the pedestrian street and I could not manage to take a look at each and every beautiful girl there. If I’d look too long at one, I’d miss the at least one or two others.
      Now, I have to actively scout for the good looking ones out. As you said, ” flabby and doughey by the time they’re 23 or 24″ is the right description. The only “hotties” are 14-18 year olds that I feel kind of bad looking at, since they could (somewhat realistically) be my daughters, now that I’m 33. Even this group of girls only looks good because they are young, none of them is fit, as in working out, they are spoiled beyond belief, running around with the latest mobile phone and an apple watch and behave as if the world belongs to them.
      So yeah, I can relate and I don’t think you’re weird.
      I mean, I don’t really care, since I’ve been in a relationship now for over 5 years but it makes me wonder what a pool of women will be available for future generations of men.
      I guess there is hope though with shows like the “whatever podcast” and Brett Cooper representing a realistic version of a conservative woman without trying hard and not succeeding like Lauren Southern.
      Who the fuck knows anyway…

    3. You explained the exact same experience. I too feel bad having to notice the age thing. Am I supposed to date 19 year olds (which isn’t even possible or realistic).

      At the same time, at reasonable ages there are almost zero hotties. If you walked around a city, it used to literally be like a flood of hotties coming at you from all directions before. Now you can spend a long time without seeing a single hottie (at reasonable dateable ages)

      But it didn’t uses to be like this.

    4. I have a simple explanation: The pandemic and lockdowns lead to women packing on some extra kilos. The extra fat also lead to a deteriorating skin
      This happened to all ages btw. The only difference is that as women age they usually became fatter to begin with so it’s much worse for a 5 kilo overweight 25 year old to put on 5 more kilos than a slim 20 year old putting 5 more kilos.

    5. I honestly can’t tell how much of it is covid. I feel like this was happening anyway, and if anything covid might have sped it up.

      Again since I wasn’t keeping track, I can’t tell for sure, but I don’t think the streets were full of hotties in march 2020, like I remember them being full of hotties 10 years ago.

    6. “Would you mind sharing the “тайна майна” joke?”

      “тайна” (“taina”) means “secret” in Bulgarian and “майна” (“maina”) means something like “dude” or “man” as if you were to put it behind a statement e.g. “it’s too hot today, man”. However, “maina” is only used in Plovdiv. So, wherever you are in Bulgaria, if somebody uses “taina” as an ending of a sentence, you can bet he is from Plovdiv,100%.

      Anyway the joke Bulgarians tell goes like this: Some guy passes away and goes to heaven and God tells him that he can ask him whatever he always wanted to know about the earth. So the guy says: “Why are Plovdiv women the most beautiful in the country?”
      And God says: “тайна майна”.

      I don’t know how funny this is to non-Bulgarians because the “maina” is even more local and distinct than a “Servus” being distinct to (southern?) Bavaria in Germany. In any case it puts a smirk on most Bulgarians faces because it is widely acknowledged that women from Plovdiv indeed are the most beautiful in Bulgaria. And God answering with this distict element of a dialect makes them laugh.

    7. “This is some pretty subtle humor.”

      Yeah. This subtle way of joking which is actually pretty representative of the country’s humor is quite the contrast to the communist jokes that Bulgaria and other ex-soviet states are typically known for. These go more into a “it is what it is, but let’s laugh at our misery at least” kind of category.

  6. I believe you went through your seduction years as a Teetotaler,Aaron. But may I ask if you’ve had experience whatsoever with a variety of recreational substances?

    I’ve done Weed and Meth. (The latter only 3 times,I don’t think I’ll be revisiting it anytime soon,if ever) And truth be told,I’ve long ago had an interest in exploring the soft recreational substances (i.e. MDMA,Psychedelics,etc. Not the harder/more dangerous stuff though)

    I’ve already talked about my background as a lucid dream. (“Oneironaut” is the term) Honestly,the Psychedelic experience has always been of great interest to me. It still is even to this day. And truth be told,alongside the practical benefits,you having spoken of the Meditative States above Clarity has been a major reason Meditation got my attention,although I understand getting there likely takes a significant amount of time and consistency before you begin to experience those things.

    Having spoken to Illuminatus in the past (sadly,his website has long been defuncted,but thankfully I bought his ebook from back then),I believe one of the major differences between the two of you is that he believes the immersive exploration of these higher Meditative states is important for your development in the journey while you suggest these are not things to aim for,and if you do experience them,you are best letting them pass rather than going out of your way to immerse yourself in the experience.

    1. My experiences involving “recreational substances” are quite limited. I have probably had less than five bottles of beer in my life. I think I tried hard liquor once, as part of some concoction that involved beer and rum, if I am not mistaken. Red wine I used to drink on occasion but still very rarely. I think it has been about a decade since I last had a sip. Lastly, I smoked half a cigarette or so and took a puff or two of weed.

  7. Aaron how would you compare Sweden to the Scandinavian countries in terms of quality of life and future prospects?
    It seems like Sweden is the most woke country and a lost cause. Denmark seems to have learned their lesson and are doing pretty smart policies, while Germany is right on track to become Sweden? What about Finland and Norway?

    1. Sweden is turning around fast. They did a 180 on migration, liberally copying right-wing talking points:
      We have yet so see if they will indeed follow through but it is good to know that this country finally reached its tipping point. Denmark has changed its policies a while back already. I do not know enough about Finland and Norway to comment about those countries, though.

      I would argue that Germany is in a pretty tough spot at the moment, provided you do not live in the more conservative parts of the country. Berlin is basically gone. The country has taken in so many supposed refugees that it is extremely difficult to find a rental apartment nowadays. I hope that we will see some political change soon, and considering that the centrist party “Alternative for Germany” is polling at levels comparable to the Green party, which seems to control the governing coalition, I am hoping for fireworks to got off in the next few years.

    2. Thanks. I agree with the dire situation in Germany – all countries in Europe, even France, are becoming more careful with immigration, except Germany.
      However, Don’t you think Stockholm and malmö is already gone similar to Berlin? And overall, Germany still has a few years to reach Sweden level (though it will probably happen)?

      What about qualify of life apart from the migration issue. Do you earn more money (after tax and considering cost of living) in Germany, Sweden or Denmark?

    3. The problem is that Berlin has a very high percentage of economically non-productive immigrants, far outpacing what you see in Stockholm. The situation is so bad that the public administration no longer functions properly. It can take several months to get an appointment, for instance. In contrast, Sweden has an excellent bureaucratic system. You can do almost everything via your phone. The best you can hope for in Germany is submitting a form via the Internet, printing it out, signing it, and sending it in. Here, the benefit is that your requests will be processed faster as there is no government stooge involved who can make mistakes entering the provided information into their system.

      In some aspects, Sweden is a lot worse than any German city. Even in some of the wealthiest parts of Stockholm there were gang turf wars involving explosives. In Gothenburg, the second-biggest city in Sweden, a couple of months ago a woman was raped in literally the most expensive area of the city.

      The quality of life in Sweden can still be pretty good, in particular if you enjoy nature. Denmark cannot offer that much in this regard. Stockholm is a beautiful city. It’s a shame what has happened to it. Germany can offer great quality of life. You can still find plenty of places with nary a non-Western foreigner, although politicians are working hard on changing that. I would not recommend Germany if you are not fluent in German. If you have to rely on English, probably the only realistic choice you have is Berlin, which brings with it significant disadvantages.

      As a foreigner, you will get screwed tremendously in Sweden as you will not have a realistic chance to get a rental contract from one of the state housing companies due to their excessive waiting times. Thus, you may end up paying half your net income to your landlord. Also, the income tax is ridiculously high. It tops out at 57%, and you will reach this level at around 540k SEK/yr., which is about $52k/yr. Salaries are also really distorted. Even in low-education jobs people earn a surprising amount of money, so much so that a lot of Swedes do not bother studying the more difficult STEM fields as the economic benefits are not really there. A security guard (unskilled, essentially zero education) earns about as much as an engineer (normally five years of university education), at least in the public sector. No, I am not making this up. Here are the salary statistics of one of the top technical universities. Look for “ingenjörer” (engineers) and “vaktmästare” (security guards), respectively. Also, it is quite difficult to make more than perhaps twice of the typical wage. About 700k SEK/yr. would be a difficult barrier to break through.

      Germany also takes you to the cleaners, at least if you are a single guy. If you are married, you get quite generous tax breaks. I have not looked into taxation in Denmark, but I know that they are high. Denmark has higher salaries than Sweden, which leads to the phenomenon that some Swedes commute to Denmark for work. The opposite approach is probably not that popular.

  8. Went out to Washington DC (Ultrabar) tonight for the first time in 5 years.

    Maybe I’m just old (30) but night game seems nonexistent, most of the couples I saw arrived at venues together.

    I was able to talk to a few young chicks, but people generally feel so closed off and hostile compared to 5 years ago.

    It seems like people are more closed off and wary of strangers.

    I had much better luck in Vegas, to the point I wonder if its even worth going out again.

    Gen Z guys seemd very high inhibition….. very few guys danced, very few were well dressed and very few seemed uninhibited.

    I got more attention walking around in a grocery store then a club.

    Maybe it was always this bad, my lays went up exponentially when I moved out the West Coast.

    Maybe I’ll have better luck once I lean out to 10% from 20% bf.

    Having a lean face is SUPER underrated

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