In Boomer Ville, you got a job by knocking on a random company’s office, asking to speak the manager, and shaking hands with a firm grip. In contrast, in today’s world you need to succeed against an increasingly less competent field of competitors. Yet, these people nowadays often play the role of gatekeepers. Before you even get to talk to anybody remotely competent, you have to make it through a recruiter who screens your CV as well as an initial HR screening interview to check whether you pledged allegiance to the fag flag.
A few months ago I thought I should apply to a few jobs, just to keep my interviewing skills sharps and learn about current fads in hiring. The fastest way to learn that is simply by submitting your CV and talking to a pink-haired recruiter who may ask you what concrete steps you have recently undertaken to improve diversity, equity, and inclusion at your current employer (I was asked this very question once). I explained to them that my middle name is not “Sleazy” but “Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion”, and that I always go the extra mile when it comes to interviewing clearly unqualified candidates (because I love to see them struggle with a simple for-loop).
One company I considered sending my CV to made me fill out a separate form, which is always a negative. Just like there are women who make you jump through ridiculous hoops instead of putting out, so are there companies who may want you to create an account for their “talent platform” or answer a few general questions. I would not even bother with this if I was really interested in a particular position. Anyway, the form I was asked to fill in had the following section:
This is not a joke. The company in question has a market capitalization of over $10bn. They have not made a profit in years (go figure!) but despite their questionable economic outlook, with growth that has been fueled by cheap money, they think it is most important to tell prospective applicants straight away that they don’t really care so much about making money and staying in business. No, the most important thing is that they use your arbitrary set of pronouns. For a moment I considered submitting “custom” pronouns, but those pink-haired types tend to be very vindictive and lack all sense of humor. You need to toe the line. Perhaps you could get away with asking to be referred to as “xie/xem”, but something fully made up probably gets your application binned right away.
In the end, I did not apply to this company as their form told me far more that I needed to know. Interview practice is well and good, but why subject yourself to more woke garbage than is currently the norm? There is hope that the ongoing wave of layoffs in tech will restore some sanity, seeing that a fair number of “diversity & inclusion officers” have recently found themselves to be without a job.
5 thoughts on “Applying to a Tech Company in the Current Year”
I think too many people take this seriously. HR itself is 80+% white and 90+% female.
Go check the LGBTQ+ box, refer to your wife as your “partner” in the HR screen and then behave 100% normally once you make it past HR.
Job interviews are just acting auditions. And your script calls for your character to be queer for the HR scene.
That’s some top-level silliness!
“Ey/em” sounds like what you’d call out if you unexpectedly saw your friend Emma a distance away: “Ey, Em! How’s it going!?”
“Use name only” would make for some awkward conversations: “So I saw Aaron last night, and Aaron told me that Aaron had just been hanging out with Aaron’s friends, and Aaron’s friend had…”
Only one that makes sense to me is “Fae/faer” – whoever picks that is obviously a fairy, but usually they get really upset if you call them that. 🙂
Was reading an article lately, a women with an oxford degree had a hard time to find a job in Germany, because companies could not “classify” her foreign degree. And the same companies will go and complain about a shortage of professionals. The solution? Import a bunch of illiterate from Africa, of course.
Do you still have the link? My guess is that she applied either for a government job or for a position at a large, traditional company. The latter indeed to have standard entry criteria, and the content or duration of her degree may simply not qualify. For instance, the position may have explicitly asked for a Master’s degree, and if she hold a Bachelor’s degree, then it does not help that it is from Oxford. There are also companies that have a similar approach, i.e. if your degree is not exactly what they want, they will reject you right away. Also note that there is a government agency that can assess her degree and determine to which German education it is equivalent.
Up until a few years ago, it was still very common in the UK that graduates from the top universities could get a job in most fields, even if their degree was unrelated. This seems to have changed in the wake of the 2008 financial crisis. However, that kind of pathway never existed on the continent. I think this woman simply has too strong a sense of entitlement. I think that, quite rightly, a degree in English Literature or some other bullshit subject from Oxford does not indicate in the least that you are qualified to work in a department where most people have a background in business or economics.
By the way, Oxford and the other top UK universities have become woke. At the Bachelor’s level, they make extra allowances for deficiencies in preparedness for “underrepresented minorities”, and at the post-graduate level, i.e. all Master’s and, to a lesser extent, doctoral degrees, money plays an exceeding role as there are not so many people around who can, for instance, shell out over fifty thousand pounds for a degree in “Global Healthcare Leadership“. What does this tell you about the quality of their graduates?
sonofabitch and Motherfucker
Then when they ask for a link to your “portfolio” send them a link to Only Fans!!!!
The HR cunt with purple hair will hire you immediately if your only fans has a fin dome with a strap on! But if you like beautiful and feminine lady boys like me, you will be banished!!!