In an extended exchange with one of my readers who seems rather impervious to reasoned argument, I was hit with the following statement:
You are writing this like I’m not aware of all the theories which float around in far-right circles. It’s not like you are such a creative genius Aaron that you discovered this narrative of the elites on your own. You are mostly just regurgitating far right talking points. It’s your religion.
My first reaction was that this is pretty rude, and it is. Then I realized that you can encounter the same pattern elsewhere. It is used by intellectually dishonest people but also by those who have a hard time thinking clearly, so I am not saying that everybody who hits you over the head with a statement like that has ill intent. Translated into English, the statement is as follows: “You suck, but you do not suck.”
About a year ago, I bought a few collections of PlayStation 3 games. For the non-gamers among you, those games are about 15 years old. My goal was to play a few classics I missed, and it was simply more economical to buy them in bulk and sell the ones I did not want. I quickly learned that you meet a lot of rather unpleasant characters online when you want to sell used goods. They lowball you and tell you that what you are selling is “old crap”. One person with a female user name told me that she would pay me five euros for a game that was selling on eBay for 20 to 25 euros as it is “old and no longer interesting, considering that the PlayStation 5 is out already.” She did not see the contradiction in claiming that this was an old game with supposedly little appeal as she was unsuccessfully haggling for a better price. If you want to sell an old car, you can meet the same kind of character. They tell you how shitty your car is, but apparently it is not so shitty that they do not want to buy it.
As I dated a few crazy women, I encountered a variation of this theme as well. One girl I was banging casually once lashed out at me, telling me that I am a loser and that other guys my age are “successful doctors and lawyers” who drive nice cars and have fabulous apartments. I recommend hitting back hard, figuratively speaking, to keep bitches in line, so I could not help but ask her why she is banging me instead of all those other great guys. At face value, they are better in every conceivable metric, after all. She was dumbfounded as she did not expect this, and looked even more confused when I told her to GTFO. She was back the next day. I should add that some women denigrate you in an attempt to gain power over you, so this should be seen as a long-term issue instead of a one-off event.
The equivalent of a chick complaining about you is the gamer on Steam who leaves a scathing negative review for a game he has played for hundreds of hours. For a game that sucked so hard, he surely enjoyed it enough to keep playing it for months. The cognitive dissonance is rather startling because if this game was really such a chore to play, such people would have bailed a lot sooner. After all, it is not as if there are no other games you could play instead. In the end, people vote with their feet and their wallet. Gamers complain about broken games and shady monetization practices, yet Electronic Arts makes billions with micro-transactions in their games, and Bethesda can put put incomplete games like Fallout 76 that nonetheless sell millions. Thus, all this complaining cannot really be taken seriously, and gamers should not complain about being taken advantage of.
I also do not want you to complain about women who are quick to spread their legs for you, and who think you should be someone else. If you take crap from a chick you bang even though she drives you up the wall when you do not have your dick in her, the blame is also on you. Clearly, she does not annoy you enough. Otherwise, you would have sent her on her way. The same is true for people who incessantly complain about their job, colleagues, or manager. Really, if your situation sucks so much then why are you not looking for a new job?
Sometimes, going elsewhere can be a big step, such as leaving your country. Imagine paying 57% income tax in the top tax bracket, like in Sweden. Do you think Sweden would keep doing this if people in this tax bracket packed their things and left? Granted, there is an exodus of ambitious Swedes, primarily men, who rather go elsewhere than fund the country’s feminist utopia, but, clearly, not enough people feel this way. The bottom line is that it is nonsensical to complain about something you do not need to endure. Nobody is forcing you to read a blog that supposedly only contains derivative thoughts, play a game for hundreds of hours that is not fun, bang a chick that is crazy, endure a crappy job, or get fiscally raped by your government. Thus, it is not believable if you complain about any of this but stick around regardless to get more of it.
Maybe if you want to be respected you should not just call me an autist because you don’t like my arguments.
That’s just a cheap ad hominem attack and you employ it quite often. (you do it to other people as well when you don’t like their arguments)
Because even if I actually was an autist it would not change my argument.
Or calling me a fed or that I’m just some troll paid by Sorros. (is that even supposed to be an insult?)
Yeah maybe I insulted you or was disrespectful to you. But you started this.
I have not seen a lot of good arguments from you, to be quite frank. Also, calling you an autist is not at all an ad-hominem as you exhibit autistic behavior. Likewise, you behave like a Fed.
Now you are just disingenuous and dishonest.
You only call people autists when they disagree with you, so you are using it as an add hominem insult.
And with other people here you do it as well.
So unless you define autistic behaviour as “disagrees with me”, you are just lying now
Repsect is a 2 way street Aaron.
And you seem to define good argument as “agrees with me” as well
Speaking of disrespectful women, have you ever had them consistently making threats to leave you or ultimatums based on your Chad behavior of being indifferent to them in some attempt to tame you or something, and then when you show them the door they generally feign strength before crawling back and begging for your cock again? The last chick I was fooling around with was like this, it didn’t really bother me too much because it was such predictable behavior and I knew she’d be providing top notch service again in no time. However, now she’s “dating” another guy and still exhibits the same behavior as if I’m still on the hook to be her emotional tampon whilst receiving no benefits.
I ended up blocking her on everything, so she started harassing me with WhatsApp. She told me that if I don’t want to talk to her that I should have the balls to tell her so and then I’ll be sorry because she’ll turn away and never look back, and that I’ll always wonder “what if”? So I told her politely that we should part ways and that she needs to be thinking about her new boyfriend and not be messaging me. Of course, manning up and telling her to buzz off didn’t have the effect she promised, and instead she eventually started sending me videos and nudes to try to get me to have sex with her. Naturally I saved all of these as evidence.
I have encountered this quite frequently. In fact, it seems to be typical behavior of Cluster B personality disorder women. I think that over time it has gotten more common that women give you an ultimatum, apparently not realizing how utterly stupid it is. Then again, I may have gotten this more often over the years only because I turned into a much more viable boyfriend. They want you to be their boyfriend or husband, and you tell them no. Obviously, you know that this will likely be the end of the relationship. Yet, they think that this is a real bargaining chip. All it does is them ejecting sooner. Once they are out the door, they apparently realize this and come crawling back to you.
A few times I got text messages and even pictures from women who told me about their new boyfriend. One chick boasted about dating a doctor. I ignored her but she kept sending me text describing how much money he is spending on her. I think some of it, if not all, was nonsense. Anyway, at one point I replied, “If he’s so great then how come you keep messaging me, bitch?” A few days later, I found her waiting outside of my apartment building, and she essentially sexually assaulted me by grabbing my crotch and trying to force her tongue into my mouth. She broke down crying after I rebuked her, and a few minutes later she was gone already because, as you know, some women can turn on and off the waterworks at will.
Thanks for the response. I need to study up on cluster B personality disorders. What you outline describes this chick almost perfectly. Also, imagine acting in a way that completely pisses off a woman you’ve been banging and makes her want to avoid you, and you’re attempt to remedy the situation is to show up at her residence unannounced and grab her by the pussy. Modern women seem to get way too much credit for being tactful and intuitive.
As I was typing this out I had a realization. A lot of the times (not all) that women have been “unhappy” with me could very well have never been my fault to any significant degree, and instead just cluster B shenanigans. I can recall times where I attempted to appease a woman by listening to what she said and taking it at face value. An example of this is when she might say something like, “if you truly loved or cared for me then you would have done X”.
If there is any such thing as relationship game then I’d say it mostly boils down to not being relationship oriented. I often see guys gassing their women up (especially early on in the relationship) and giving them too much in terms of love, commitment and financial incentives before the woman has really earned it. I think it should be the woman’s job to be relationship oriented, and all you really need to do is mirror her interest level. If she is being sweet and nuturing and missing you, then it’s okay to tell her you miss her also. And if she pulls away or backs off, a guy only needs to keep a goal oriented focus and wait until she comes back wondering why you’re not eating out of her hand yet.
Also, I believe there was one truly solid chick I messed around with that was relatively pretty emotionally sound. When it came time to split up because I wasn’t ready to date like she was, she tried once or twice to politely convince me otherwise before accepting it. I never heard back from her again.
I looked more into Cluster B disorders, and realizing that there is often overlap or co-morbidities, I believe I narrowed this particular chick down as being mostly histrionic. It’s not as if she lacks all empathy, but she is certainly a drama queen and quite provocative. I bet a large part why she started dating someone was in hopes of getting a passionate reaction out of me, and alsobfor appearances on social media as this type of person loves being in the spot light.
Aaron,
1. “Clearly, she does not annoy you enough. Otherwise, you would have sent her on her way”.
I also think that men often tolerate shitty behaviour from women because the lack of options they may have and/or the lack of positive experiences. It’s the mindset of “I’ll never find another one”.
2. “One girl I was banging casually once lashed out at me, telling me that I am a loser and that other guys my age are “successful doctors and lawyers” who drive nice cars…”
I had the same thing happened to me as well. This one girl who I went out with would always talk highly about every guy she went out with. One nigh we went out and she told me about this one wealthy guy who wanted to spoil her, wine and dine her. I told her what she was doing with me and occasionally fucking me. I told her she should have gone out with him, fucked him, and use the money she made from him to buy me lunch. She didn’t know what to say and remained silent. A few minutes later she responded that she felt more comfortable with me cause she already knew me.
3. Correct me if I am wrong but I’ve often seen people who complain incessantly are usually people who have shitty lives whether it’s in their dating/sex lives and/or in their personal jobs. Its better to stay away from these people no matter if you might enjoy their company on some level.
1) This is true, and it is more common among less experienced men who think they desperately need to hang on to those women, even when they realize that they are suffering in the relationship and that their life has taken a turn for the worse.
2) As a hint, maybe do not rationally discuss the issue. Maybe I was not clear enough in the article, but I what I recommend is along the lines of you asking rhetorically, and maybe in a mocking tone, why she’s banging you instead of those fabulous guys. Then you do not wait for an answer but just ignore her, for instance by picking up a book or your phone. I would not sit down and try to explore why she acts the way she acts. After all, she is hanging out with you, so you know that she, at this moment, prefers you over your competition, for whatever reason. Also, she may not even rationally know why she hangs out with you instead of those other Chads and, depending on her mood, she could give you wildly different answers to your probing questions. I would say that it does not really matter why she wants to bang you instead.
3) Yes, I think it is a good idea to stay away from such people. However, there is a big difference between someone who is able to realize that he is in a bad situation and actively works on fixing it, e.g. someone has a shitty job and is looking for a new one, and someone who complains about the same thing day in and day out as some kind of ritual, without wanting to change anything or even just analyzing why he is unhappy with the status quo.
Nice post, Aaron.
I wonder if there is some “boiling frog” syndrome here. Perhaps we may not realize something is amiss.
For example, I recall @goodlookingandsleazy talked about his upbringing from his single mom. He learned various messaging and assumed that was the way of the world.
There may also be an issue of having a ‘scarcity’ mindset. Someone may not leave their crap job or their crap partner because they do not realize they can do better. (Or that they should do better.)
It’s why we are lucky we have blogs like yours…but unlucky that tech censorship is shutting “red pill” content. I saw in the Open Thread how there was a hit piece on that Tom Torero PUA guy which led to him offing himself.
Funny how “red pill” has been demonized and yet those Matrix allegories are true 20+ years after the original film came out. (BTW, there’s a Matrix 4 that just came out…which makes me want to re-watch the first Matrix film.)