I received the following article request:
Why women break up/end relationships and/or divorce men (I’m not sure
if the reason(s) are the same in ending a relationship vs divorcing), and why relationships fail now a days compared to why our grandparent’s relationships worked out.”
The mainstream media is quick to highlight why relationships fail. Often highlighting things like abuse, financial reason, lack of sex etc. Of course, this is all b.s. In one of your articles, you highlighted why women leave men – the woman is unable to get pregnant. However, are there other reasons as well?
I’ve seen couples who married in their early/mid/late 20s to only divorce in their 40s or 50s. These couples had kids. What happened here? I’ve also read literature that emphasized that women who come from broken homes are more likely to divorce as well. On the contrary, I’ve also seen women who come from stable homes whose parents never divorced, but they themselves divorced. What happened here? I’m aware that there are predictors to a person background that suggest they are prone to divorcing like promiscuity, drug use, etc.
Depending on who you talk to, some people will say that marriage is a scam while others hold a different opinion. Of course, marriage is no longer necessary unless a couple want to have kids. Our ancestors in evolutionary times married for survival reason – enhancing the survival of their offspring. Lastly, are men more
affected by break ups, a failed relationship more than women? Let me know what your thoughts are. Thanks.
In order to narrow down the topic a bit, I would like to focus on breaking up serious relationships. Obviously, there is a difference between filing for divorce and ghosting a Tinder date. In the case of non-serious relationships, women tend to move on very quickly as you were simply a placeholder. She will have little regard for your feelings. However, in case she had hopes for a serious relationship with you and you dump her, she is likely to display significant anger towards you because, in her view, you cheated her out of a relationship she felt entitled to.
With divorce, the problem is simply that society has been remodeled to incentivize it. Multiple industries focus around destroying social cohesion. On the one hand, laws were changed so that women, at first sight, face no negative repercussions for filing for divorce and, on the other, mainstream media tries hard to funnel utter garbage into the head of women, telling them that they are still very desirable in their 30s and 40s. The best example of this is the TV show Sex and the City, which focused on four middle-aged women and their exciting dating life in NYC. It was about as remote from reality as can be, yet this TV show was catnip for women.
I think divorce exists because we allow it to exist. If we did not have no-fault divorce and the woman would have to make a convincing cause for why marriage has broken down, she would be a lot less inclined to do so. Take away alimony, and the incentive for divorce essentially disappears altogether. There is also the issue that many women do not seem to understand finances well enough. She may enjoy living in a nice, big house, with plenty of money to spend left over, and genuinely believe that if she divorced her husband, she could keep everything, the only change being that the husband is no longer in the picture but would keep funding her lifestyle. Calling this retarded would be too kind.
A few of my friends and acquaintances have gotten divorced, and it was always the woman who initiated it. In one case, the woman apparently really thought she could keep living the high live. In the end, she had to live off welfare for a while, which probably came to a surprise to her, and then she found anther guy to leech off, but the dude was less successful than her previous husband, and less-good looking too. In another case, the first divorce led to a string of failed relationships, also because the woman simply got less and less desirable as she got older. After all, no man with options is going to date a divorcee with kids. A much more tragic story is one where the woman at first gloated about getting both kids who were in her teens. Finances did not work out as well as she had hoped, so she had to go back to working full time. She could not handle the stress and suffered a stroke at 40 from which she never fully recovered, and her kids moved out as soon as they could.
I do not think that a divorce ever really works out for the woman as her current partner is, almost by necessity, the best she was able to get. Time will not be kind to her. Also, the older the woman is, the harder she will find it to bond. Collectively, women would arguably be a lot better off treating marriage seriously, only getting married if they are ready, and stick to their husband. It seems we are getting there already anyway as people are getting married in fewer numbers, and the ones that do tend to be of a higher socio-economic status, which is already the group with the most stable marriages.
In my view, the main reason why women leave is in their misguided belief that there is someone better out there. The rather amusing phenomenon of the “boomerang girlfriend” who wants to reconnect after her new guy dumped her is a good indication that she has been chasing a mirage. Generally speaking, there is the problem that her current reality cannot complete with an imagined future. Sure, she may have her stable and reliable partner but what if things were to work out with the new alpha at the office who earns twice as much money?
A woman’s delusions can kick in any time. In the example given above, I think that divorce in a woman’s 40s or 50s can be explained by her kids having grown up. Now she thinks she can rejoin the party scene, bang a few more Chads, and have another set of kids thanks to IVF. I wish I was joking but I have seen enough pathetic middle-aged women hitting on men half their age in clubs to know that this is exactly what is happening.
With regards to predictors for divorce like drugs or promiscuity, I would advise any man to only pump and dump a woman who has raised such red flags. Do not even consider a short-term relationship. The problem is that such a woman may be able to get her hooks in you and you end up making excuses for her behavior and character defects. This is where the “the past is the past” meme comes from, i.e. blue-pilled men believing they can turn a whore into a housewife and later on wondering why things did not work out.
Given that, for the very most part, women initiate a break up or divorce, I would argue that they are, at first, emotionally less affected by it than the man. However, it often takes a while for reality to hit them and realize that they have made a colossal error. In the long run, I think men are in a much better position and many manage to rebuild their life. I should add that the reality in jurisdictions with crippling alimony laws this may be different but even in such cases there are men who manage to get out relatively unscathed, for instance by leaving the country. This may sound “heartless” or “cold” or “calculating” but it is only a matter of self-protection. If a woman, cheered on by the divorce industry and emotionally built up by mainstream media b.s. plots to destroy your life, it is only rational to protect yourself. She is the heartless, cold, and calculating. In contrast, you only defend yourself.
If your view is that women have the upper hand in long-term relationships, I think you should consider that there are fewer and fewer men out there who are willing to tie themselves down. For one-night stands and short-term relationships, women certainly are the gatekeeper. She has a lot of men lusting after her, provided she is good-looking enough. However, a lot of women are desperate to enter a long-term relationship. This becomes particularly pronounced once they enter their mid-twenties and have worked for a few years. At this point, they slowly realized that they have fallen for a bunch of lies and want to get out. With a long-term boyfriend they could work only part-time and eventually stop going to work altogether.
Lastly, I would like to briefly talk about what I consider the recipe for a stable relationship. In broad terms, you need a woman from a conservative background who was never part of the party scene, preferably a virgin, and you need to marry her young. Then, you put kids in her as soon as possible. Being a mother will change her personality, and it will also keep her really busy. It also helps if your wife is smarter than the average woman and able to to see through b.s. propaganda. In this day and age, you probably only have to ask her if she is vaxxed, and if she is, you know that she is at most a pump and dump. Also, I think that relationships are less stable in big cities, simply because there are too many people around. If your wife or girlfriend is already a bit unhinged, and sees a few dozen men every day who may, in her little, deranged mind, be better than you, she is likely to develop some pretty stupid ideas. Thus, she may casually wreck your relationship for nothing. This would not happen so easily if you lived in a small town of 5,000 people or so.
I also think that we do not talk enough about alcohol, smoking, and drugs. In my view, if a woman is not able to deal with reality and needs such crutches to make it through the day, you should not consider her for a serious relationship. Yes, I include cigarettes as well here as they likewise trigger an endorphin release. The question is simply if she is able to function properly on her own. If she needs any kind of drug, she is, in my view, psychologically impaired.
This blog depends on your contributions. So, share your view and comment on this article (comment policy). Then, to ensure the survival of this blog, donate. If you haven’t bought Aaron’s books yet, buy them, all of them. Lastly, if you want tailored and honest advice, book some one-on-one consultation sessions.