I find the concept of “closure” in the context of relationships bizarre. It must be an idea that has been promoted by movies and the cucked mainstream. In reality, however, there will never be any closure and it is quite easy to see why. Generally, there are only a few possible power dynamic when a sexual relationship ends. It never ends when both want to end it. Instead, one of the parties has decided to move on, whereas the other still clings to the relationship. The person who has decided to call it quits does not need closure as they have made up their mind already. In contrast, the party who got dumped may want some kind of justification for why things ended. Yet, does this really change anything? If anything, “closure” will likely only inflict additional pain.
In the vast majority of cases, women end the relationship. The most common cause is that they are on birth control and therefore don’t get pregnant. Rationally, she may understand that she does not get pregnant because she is on the pill. Yet, her biology will make her perceive the man as infertile and thus genetically useless. Thus, she needs another man. Women, however, don’t just break up. In the vast majority of cases, she will leave once she has secured a better option. If that guy turns out to only have wanted to pump-and-dump her, she’ll probably try to boomerang back to you, but that’s a different story.
If you were dumped by some chick, would you need to hear that she found a “better” guy? It will hopefully help you to realize that she will go through the same cycle with him if she remains on birth control. Also, she is not going to get any younger, so you certainly had her when she was physically more desirable, which implies that it is highly unlikely that her new partner is objectively of higher quality than you. As her decision is driven by emotions, which may be highly fickle, she would give you different explanations for why she left depending on when you ask her, provided she would answer truthfully at all. It’s all nonsense. Just like a woman will not be able to give you a good explanation for why she ended up fucking you — she will likely not admit that it was because of your looks and/or money because she does not want to be seen as shallow — she will not be able to give you a good reason for dumping your ass to for the next Chad. (Article continues below.)
Break: To show your appreciation for this article and ensure the survival of this blog, please consider making a donation.
On the other hand, if you dumped some woman, you would have a very good reason to do so. You did not want, nor do you need, any closure because you have closed this chapter now. Your reason is likely that you were fed up with something she did (over and over) and now you had to admit to yourself that she is simply a horrible girlfriend and not worth spending any kind of resources on, which include time and mental energy. What kind of “closure” would she want in this case? Most certainly, she is well aware of the reasons you dumped her and you know that she won’t change, so all her pleading to meet up one last time is just a last-ditch effort of her to rope you back in. Instead of wanting closure, she’ll likely just try to seduce you and hope that you’ll forget about what a horrible person she is while you bang her, and then she hopes that you will forget about leaving her because she emptied your balls so well.
There is also the case where a breakup at first seems to have been desired by both equally. This is generally nonsense. Maybe there are corner cases where two traditional Indian families blow off an arranged marriage for whatever reason. In the West, however, it’s arguably never a mutual decision. I would go one step further and say that it is almost always the woman who directly or indirectly ends the relationship. We covered the direct case above already. The indirect case is also interesting. In this case, the woman has decided that she wants to leave but is afraid to just tell you, for whatever reason. What then happens is that she will provoke the breakup. This means that she may start fucking other guys and be more and more obvious about it. In addition, she may become more and more combative in your interactions until you have had enough. (I would argue that this must be less common nowadays as women just ghost men, increasingly even to get out of a long-term relationship.)
A trap some guys fall into is to try to fix the relationship when their girlfriend shows such bad behavior. There is nothing to fix there, though. You can only fix it if you leave — and this is exactly what she wants. Maybe you have heard of chicks dating two guys at once. Sometimes, there is one guy who has been exposed to months of verbal and psychological abuse by a cheating girlfriend who is already seriously dating a different guy. She has already emotionally distanced herself from the old boyfriend. There are even women who keep some passive betabuxxer around for years. That poor simp thinks she is his girlfriend whereas she moves on from one guy to the next. Again, she does not need closure if she finally left, and the guy probably could not handle the truth anyway.
This blog depends on your contributions. So, share your view and comment on this article (comment policy). Then, to ensure the survival of this blog, donate. If you haven’t bought Aaron’s books yet, buy them, all of them. Lastly, if you want tailored and honest advice, book some one-on-one consultation sessions.
I think some women even leave out of sheer delusion. Even if they haven’t found somebody else, they think he is around the corner. To them, their relationship is what’s holding them back. Only to realise that prince charming is not out there. And Joe six pack loved them more than any other dude would. And they never acknowledge that their actions are largely why it didn’t work. It’s a women’s world in today’s culture. They are sold a bill of goods about their value. We all lose in this scenario. In a women’s world the results are detrimental to women themselves. That’s why patriarchy, with all it’s flaws, is the only way to go.
Aaron,
1. “If you were dumped by some chick, would you need to hear that she found a “better” guy?”
I’ve often seen women who left reasonably good-looking guys with solid careers for lesser men and get knock-up by those guys? What’s going on here? I knew one girl in my extended social circle who was dating this firefighter and eventually left him. The other guy was average looking. I can’t recall what he did, but he was well accomplished. The guy she’s dating now is a joke. He’s average looking, no future prospects. She’s in her mid-30s now. I’m aware of that you said that some girls feel like they can’t measure up, but are there other reasons as well?
2. “In the vast majority of cases, women end the relationship.”
Do all women end relationships for the same reason(s) regardless of their age? I’ve often heard women leaving their relationships because their boyfriend was abusive, lack resources, not fulfilling their emotional needs. Of course, this is always highlighted by mainstream relationship advice.
3. Do women end relationships for different reason between Chads and Betas?
4. If a woman has a kid with a Chad with a solid career, why on earth would she leave him?
5. “You know that she won’t change.”
There has always been the idea that “people change” floating around. Obviously, people do not change, but how does this compare to personal growth? For example, a lot of men have anti-game. They go from being socially off to being socially adjusted. Some people would say that they’ve changed while others say they’ve gone through personal growth. Of course, these are mainstream labels discusses in your local community college. What are your thoughts?
6. When a woman chooses to end a relationship, is this the same as a woman losing interest in a guy? There’s a lot of relationship experts who discuss how to spark interest and what to do if she loses interest.
Aaron,
I copied and pasted by mistake the last few parts. My apologies.
Thanks for the heads-up. I removed the duplicated paragraphs.
1) There are a lot of reasons why women leave their boyfriend. However, I would argue that if those women were busy taking care of a bunch of kids, they would not feel “bored” and unstable, thug-like men would be a lot less attractive to them.
2) The reasons you mentioned are often pretenses. A lot of women claim physical (and emotional) abuse. Also, the lack of resources surely did not materialize all of a sudden, for the vast majority of cases. She was fine with a thug-maxxer who slapped her around the house every once in a while and didn’t mind that he didn’t have much money. Yet, now that she is “bored” those are relationship-breaking problems.
3) The problem with Chads is that those guys normally don’t let themselves get tied down so easily. Chads are the ones who tend to pump-and-dump women.
4) Even some of the most alpha guys got divorced. If you have looks and resources, I would argue that your chances of getting divorced are a lot lower, provided you didn’t pick an unstable woman.
5) Personal growth is relatively limited. However, I would argue that the percentage of men who are able to change their ways is higher than the percentage of women who can do so. A lot of women have the minds of teenagers and obsess over celebrity gossip even in their old age.
6) I would argue that it is normally the case that the woman got “bored”, and she got bored because she thought she could trick Mother Nature. Had she not postponed child-bearing, she would not have gotten bored. Normally, she would use her 20s to have a bunch of kids and take care of them until she is in her late 30s or early 40s. At that point, she hits menopause, which will make her more rational anyway.
Aaron,
Thank you….
Aaron,
1. “…she hits menopause, which will make her more rational anyway.”
Would this apply to all women including Cluster B or just non-cluster B?
The women who I mention who left the firefighter and so on…she actually had a Masters degree who settle with an average guy with no future. This girl was very attractive in her 20s, but she aged terrible. She also has a lot of tattoos on her arms from her wrist to her shoulders on both arms.
From what I gathered, the current consensus is that women suffering from BPD improve as they age. The explanations for this phenomenon are rather amusing. I recall one author claiming that BPD “burns out” with age. It surely can’t have anything to do with a change of the levels of certain hormones as that would be misogynist.
Aaron,
How is it that a woman can break up from a relationship and move on like nothing ever happened, and bang a new guy? Often, men start to question whether his ex like him or not since she found a new guy quick. I’m aware that women will secure a guy before she even breaks up. Hence, cheating. Yet, mainstream relationship advice loves to talk about how women grieve a lot once a relationship ends which is utter bullshit.
She grieves when she has failed to secure a new guy, or in the less usuak case that her boyfriend caused the breakup.
I think women simply replace you with the new guy, emotionally speaking. There are much more afraid of being alone, i.e. if they move on and the new guy decided to dump their sorry ass, then women can have a real mental breakdown. However, again, I think this is much more about being alone than about the particular guy who has left them. I would argue that there is a good evolutionary explanation for this, i.e. women being relatively defenseless in the ancestral environment.
Another truth bomb.
From my experience not all Most most women are Just cold hearted bitches. I’m reading this book the manipulated man ironically written by a woman and she claims that women are more cold and heartless because they can be. In their delusional minds there will always be someone else and because emotionally they are closer on the spectrum of a serial killer then can just cut and forget all those amazing experiences and convince themselves that he was weak or whatever to come to that conclusion. It’s a good book.
Really at this point if anyone is really in tune with what’s going on in the world, the western world is collapsing. Once that happens these whores will turn to house wives overnight. Too bad there isn’t not carfax for a women’s sexual history. I know a couple of girls who were confirmed sluts bit then they moved away and started posting Instagram photos of them wearing flannnel, finish and camping. Lol it’s textbook. Each chick who’s trying to find a guy tries to show on insta how girl next door she is.
Speaking of Ester Vilar, there’s very little information online about her later years, by now she would be like 85 years old and who knows whether she’s even alive.
Of course. It is all about incentives. Men are not inherently better than women.
If you rewarded men to get away with their worst behavior, they would behave exactly the same way.
The current culture rewards & encourages women to act on their worst instincts, and we see the result.
On the note of culture and its effect on behavior, I think when the Victorians proclaimed that women are oh-so pure and morally superior to men, the goal was to shame them into behaving well.
@ubermensch – IMO I think most men are better than women in almost everything because women know that if they’re stupid and useless as long as they can praise and lock in a man she will be taken care of. There are differences in IQ as well as different biological limitations affecting their thinking etc. These are generalized statements
And don’t apply to all women.
@Deus: average IQ is almost the same for men and women, but distribution for men is more fat tailed.
So you have more highly intelligent men but also more morons
(for every 130 IQ woman there a 3x 130 IQ men)
Now if you consider the 20/80 rule, 80% of the work in society is done by 20% of the population, the majority of them will be the high achiever men.
Also because of other limitations women cannot do most of the hard work that is also required to keep society running. Working on oil rigs and so on.
It is really a tiny % of men who keep society running.
(in Austria, only 20% of the population are net tax-payers, who are contributing more than they take our from the system)
IQ research is heavily biased. The studies showing that men and women have the same average IQ are based on tests with 14 y/o girls and boys as that is when the developmental advantage of girls is the highest. I would really like to know how big the differences among adults in various age groups are. I suspect that the difference starts to widen in the mid-teens and never really closes when you consider how quickly the mental facilities of women seem to degrade as they age. The difference between a 60 year-old man and his wife can be quite staggering. This is only anecdotal evidence, though.