Open Thread

Open Thread #79

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60 thoughts on “Open Thread #79

  1. Do any of you listen to The Ralph Retort aka. the Killstream? Ethan Ralph recently announced that he’d move hosting of his podcast to Spotify. This struck me as a bit odd as his material isn’t normie-compatible. In the end, Spotify just jerked him around and canceled his podcast before he could go live. I think this was planned in advance. They invited him to join Spotify, holding a carrot of an easy 1 to 2 grand in revenues in front of him and then they slammed the door in his face. It tells you a lot about the moral character of the people in those tech companies.

    1. Might be related to Joe Rogan move. That was bound to give a lot of dudes the impression that “spotify’s different”

    2. Spotify’s courting of Ethan Ralph most likely happened in that context. Their diverse business-development staff probably didn’t do their due diligence, not realizing that some people are a lot edgier than Joe Rogan who may look edgy but is fully mainstream compatible. It’s still a dick move to invite him to join their platform, only to ban him right away.

  2. Has anyone ever experienced this?:

    You grew up in a smaller town/city and the girls were never interested in you. You then move to a larger city and don’t have a problem getting laid?

    Obviously there are greater numbers in a big city but to me it feels like women in smaller towns have a cookie cutter idea in their mind about what a “guy” is and if you don’t fit that mold they’re not into you. Where I’m from it’s either farm boy, hipster, or just plain douchey bro that they’re into.

    1. Well, Sleazy spoke about this in his “Minimal Game”. I find the book very useful. I only wish he can include more examples of sexual escalation. I am still touch-aversed, due to my culture. Yesterday, I had a conversation with my neighbor, who comes from Dominican Repulbic, and I came to know that people from South America are very touchy-feely. Caucasian Americans always think that they are flirting with their women, but this is not the case.

      I still think it is a distinct advantage, since you can break the barriers between you and the girl by just being more open to physical touch.

  3. Sleazy, you seem to write little about flirting and flirting style in different culture. I notice here in the US, people tend to be crasser, to be coarser, tend to be speak of sex more freely than in my country or in China.

    To give you an example. When I first arrived at Shanghai roughly 10 years ago (yes when I was only 19), I didn’t know how to ask a girl out. My best friend told me to do this and that, including never mentioning sex or any kind of pervert joke. The first girl I asked out was someone who stood under the roof of our library, because it was raining at the time. I found her attractive, so I took my umbrella out and asked escort her to a certain distance. She smiled and was very enthusiastic about it. No I never ended up having sex with her, but I notice that flirting style and courtship in China, as well as in Vietnam, places much more emphasis in nuances, subtlety and indirect innuendos. We also tend to talk about love, romantic feelings, digging deeper into each other’s life than Western style. If you come off as someone who is polite, caring, sensitive and gallant, even at times chivalric (especially in Vietnam, not in China) than you have a better chance with women than being outright sexual, or sexually daring and bold.

    Another time, I found this girl quite cute, so I offered her a seat on my bike. She refused out of politeness, but I kept riding my bike slowly while keeping a conversation with her.

    I have very limited experience with European or American girls, but it seems to me that you guys are much more opened about sex than we are.

    Historically, nudity is a no-no in East Asian and Vietnamese culture. Sure, you can find plenty of statutes of the Greeks and Romans that dedicate to the perfection of human body, but you will have a hard time to ever find such equivalents in Chinese culture. Two things that are mentioned only in passing in Chinese historical records, war and sex.

    1. As a reference, in our folk culture, there is a particular form of short poems called “Ca Dao” (歌谣). They are equivalent to poems found in the Book of Odes (诗经) in China. Among the themes that later philologist categorizes, the theme of love is present and quite predominant.

      Here is a website that roughly translate these short poems into modern Chinese:

      https://langdongtamhon.blogspot.com/2018/04/bai-ca-dao-cua-chung-ta-phung-hoang.html

      Về đây ta lặng nghe khúc ca xưa, lệ rơi tuôn thắm lạnh mắt mi gầy
      一首老情歌听湿眼睛。

      English translation of the Chinese translation: An old love song forces to tears to roll down from the eyes.

      Note the Vietnamese original is much more difficult to render in both English and Chinese. Modern Chinese is also powerless when it comes to fully rendering the original (I prefer Classical Chinese over Modern Chinese, BTW). I wish to clumsily render it as followed:

      Return to this place, we silently listen to the old song that forces tears rolling down on our cheeks and coldly soaking our eyes and our thin eyebrows. (the verb “tuôn” means rolling down, streaming down, there is no “cheeks” in the original, but the verb roll down on or stream down on must be accompanied by an indirect object (宾语), in this case it is an indirect object of location (处所宾语), that’s why I choose to add “cheeks”.

      Frankly, after the translation, even into Chinese or English, the poetic style and meaning are gone.

    2. Part of the problem is simply that people in the West are too dumb. You need to keep in mind that Chinese have a higher IQ than Westerners. If you didn’t tell a Western chick that you want to fuck her or made bold moves, she’d probably not realize that you’re interested in her. Another problem is that Western culture is really crass. If you properly courted a girl, she’d consider you at the very least weak and at worst gay.

    3. “Part of the problem is simply that people in the West are too dumb. You need to keep in mind that Chinese have a higher IQ than Westerners. If you didn’t tell a Western chick that you want to fuck her or made bold moves, she’d probably not realize that you’re interested in her.”

      Don’t you think that kind of direct sexual instinct is more of a cultural thing? Like what do you have? Jersey-shore show, Jock stereotypes, etc. It all boils down to being that muscular, strong and tall guy.

      Whereas in the East, muscles do still have an effect, but not that much. Barely any kind who gets laid constantly need to show off his muscles.

      I find Western style (here means the US) is much more raw than in the East.

    4. @Cuong Quoc Vu

      Yup I definitely relate to some of the things you’ve talked about. Courtship in Singapore still has its innocence, at least in my experience in my undergrad days. Girls highly value a guy being polite, caring and chivalrous. Simple but thoughtful advances are like surprising a girl with a note and some food, wishing her all the best with her mid-term or something like that. I hope it stays that way. When I think about the innocence in Asian dating, Taiwanese dramas come to mind for their portrayal of it (albeit exaggerated).

      Conversely, there was once I asked Aaron what the Western woman version of acting cute is, since Asian women do it often. His reply was that they don’t act cute :O

    5. “Yup I definitely relate to some of the things you’ve talked about. Courtship in Singapore still has its innocence, at least in my experience in my undergrad days. Girls highly value a guy being polite, caring and chivalrous. Simple but thoughtful advances are like surprising a girl with a note and some food, wishing her all the best with her mid-term or something like that. I hope it stays that way. When I think about the innocence in Asian dating, Taiwanese dramas come to mind for their portrayal of it (albeit exaggerated).”

      I think Taiwanese dramas are influenced by Korean dramas, but I could be wrong. The emphasis on a caring, devoting, romantic and polite male model is definitely felt for those who are interested in dating East Asians. The typical “bad boy” stereotypes like those portraited by Marlon Brando are very rare.

      “Conversely, there was once I asked Aaron what the Western woman version of acting cute is, since Asian women do it often. His reply was that they don’t act cute :O”

      I believe the Chinese term for this is “撒娇”, which literally means pouting, acting like a kid. That reminds of one line from the marvelous song “J’aime” by Salvatore Adamo “J’aime…quand tu te fais petite fille” (I love…when you behave (act) like a little girl.” (you should listen to it, a masterpiece where great melody and music meets each other.)

      I personally find this style rather difficult to stand. I prefer a girl who shows certain maturity and seriousness. Among girls I dated, I drop those who leaned excessively on this side.

    6. @Cuong Quoc Vu

      When I was a girl my father told me not to talk in an artificially high-pitched voice, which is one of the typical ways of acting cute (撒娇) like you mentioned. I wasn’t doing it at that time but I guess he was anticipating that I might adopt it in future. He said it’s childish, annoying and frivolous. Thus I learnt that it’s not a good thing to do. I know of women around me who permanently talk like that and I personally find it a bit grating too. They should save that voice for use in private with their significant other. It doesn’t give me a good impression of them especially when the setting is school or work.

      But there are other ways of acting cute too that I think aren’t so off-putting. There was once I wanted to appeal to Aaron about something he said no to, so I gently tugged his shirt sleeve and looked at him with puppy eyes and a smile. That was well-received. But I suppose such interactions can’t be viewed in isolation. He knew that ultimately I wasn’t going to turn into a harpy if I don’t get my way. So maybe with that in mind our dynamic is just a lot more pleasant.

      I’ve given some thought too about how to adapt Minimal Game to Singaporean/East Asian dating culture. And like you I think the relevant point to learn is sexual escalation/physical touch. You have to touch a girl to know whether she’s ultimately receptive about moving the relationship forward, but you absolutely can’t do it in the “I want to bang you here and now, if not tomorrow night” kind of way. A Singaporean friend of mine is overweight and not good looking but because he’s sufficiently assertive and knows how to behave like a gentleman, he’s still pretty successful with women. He does far better than some good looking but meek guys I know.

    7. “I’ve given some thought too about how to adapt Minimal Game to Singaporean/East Asian dating culture. And like you I think the relevant point to learn is sexual escalation/physical touch. You have to touch a girl to know whether she’s ultimately receptive about moving the relationship forward, but you absolutely can’t do it in the “I want to bang you here and now, if not tomorrow night” kind of way. A Singaporean friend of mine is overweight and not good looking but because he’s sufficiently assertive and knows how to behave like a gentleman, he’s still pretty successful with women. He does far better than some good looking but meek guys I know.”

      You are definitely right! My main sticking point right now is to get comfortable with physical touching. I think if I want to date a traditional Asian girl, then I have to be prepared to date her for about 1 month or more, than through talking finding out more about her.

      “But there are other ways of acting cute too that I think aren’t so off-putting. There was once I wanted to appeal to Aaron about something he said no to, so I gently tugged his shirt sleeve and looked at him with puppy eyes and a smile. That was well-received. But I suppose such interactions can’t be viewed in isolation. He knew that ultimately I wasn’t going to turn into a harpy if I don’t get my way. So maybe with that in mind our dynamic is just a lot more pleasant.”

      Your father must have taught you in the most gracious way. Congratulation! A couple of female gestures are nice, it draws out the masculine energy hidden in us men. 🙂

    8. @Cuong Quoc Vu

      Let me give you some ideas about physical touch Asian-style, kekeke. These are things that I’ve either been on the receiving end of or think would be effective on me. They’re pretty mild in my opinion, but then again I don’t know how strong your inhibitions are.
      – Lightly tap a girl on her waist when you want to point her attention to something or indicate a change of direction while walking.
      – Touch her on the hand briefly during appropriate moments in conversation (mood is good/you’re laughing/you’re taking a menu out of her hand).
      – Place your hand on her back (when the both of you are looking at sth together or facing the same direction is a good opportunity).
      – A trickier one is patting her head. This can backfire very easily as we view our heads as a sacred space not to be intruded upon casually by others.

      Overall the hands, arms, back, and waist are all appropriate. Simple physical touch in these areas can give a girl the tingles where there might’ve been none or if she was only feeling lukewarm previously. Then of course there’s an assertive and confident way to talk as well. If you say “let me send you home” and she declines, smirk and say “that wasn’t a question”. Something like that.

      Do you already do these things? Also, how do you find the quality of Asian American women?

      And yes, I credit my father for some of my most important qualities today.

    9. “– Lightly tap a girl on her waist when you want to point her attention to something or indicate a change of direction while walking.”

      I rarely did this. I usually tap her on the shoulder when I say hi

      “– Touch her on the hand briefly during appropriate moments in conversation (mood is good/you’re laughing/you’re taking a menu out of her hand).”

      I see, that’s fun! I used to silently hold the hands of a girl who gave me “the look”. The prostitute that I almost had sex with that I mentioned elsewhere, I did not remove my hands quickly after touching her shoulder, I pulled her into my body and kept her body close to me. The reason I was able to do this is simply because I believe that she is so used to the touching of men, thus she wouldn’t resist my move. That is the boldest move I’ve ever made in my life.

      “Overall the hands, arms, back, and waist are all appropriate. Simple physical touch in these areas can give a girl the tingles where there might’ve been none or if she was only feeling lukewarm previously. Then of course there’s an assertive and confident way to talk as well. If you say “let me send you home” and she declines, smirk and say “that wasn’t a question”. Something like that.”

      Nice one. I used to compliment a girl that she is pretty (an Italian girl). She said she doesn’t think she is, then I said “I think so, no question on that”. But that’s about it. Definitely will try to up my assertiveness next time.

      “Also, how do you find the quality of Asian American women?”

      I rarely interact with Asian American girls. The time when I was able to interact with Asian Americans most was when I was in Philadelphia. But I rarely talked to any girl. I watched a couple of youtube videos on them. I think they generally like to date white guys. I am talking about second generation girls.

      BTW, since you have already tied the knot with Sleazy, if it is not too intrusive, can you tell me how did he touch you. I can only imagine that he ought to be extremely confident and unflinching when it comes to touching.

      “And yes, I credit my father for some of my most important qualities today.”

      God blesses you to be born into an intact family. We have a chengyu in Vietnamese for a broken family “tan nhà nát cửa”, literally 家散门破, or 妻离子散 (Wife gone children left)、家破人亡 (Broken home family members lost)、离乡背井、抛乡离井、无家可归 (No homes to return) in Chinese. The absence of a male role model in a girl life must take some tolls on her character formation as she grows up.

    10. He was confident and unflinching indeed but not in the way you might imagine, bcos our first interaction was quite brief. He shook my hand and his handshake lingered longer than what’s normal. That made an impression on me from the start in a ??? way. Secondly, when I held my phone in front of him to add himself as a Facebook friend, he surprised me by holding that hand as he touched around on my screen. Then I was off, wondering why this guy is making me feel a bit…funny. Intrigued may be the word.

      Also, I didn’t actually have my phone with me when we shook hands. I had to go get it and return (his suggestion as he didn’t have his phone too). So as I walked away and back, I was kind of grumbling to myself “he asks me to go get it and I just listen and do it? .__. What am I?” Hahaha.

      Subsequently he got a lot more physical in his courtship. Stroking my arm…deep eye contact…lifting me. At that time it felt a bit too much to be honest (“what a weird and forward Westerner”). But clearly I took the bait and he reeled me in anyway 🙂

  4. Do you guys like a girl with a soft, soothing voice? Well of course you do. Western women now days have harsh, loud, cringe worthy voices. I think it was different in the past when most women were home makers. They were happy to stay home with the children and prepare meals. The man got his ass kicked at work all day, but got to go home to a nice soothing voice. I think it was healthy for both man and wife.

    1. Feminism extracts all beautiful feminine quality of a woman, and turn them into an unrecognizable pile of dogshits that men are forced to eat. That’s how disgusting they are to me!

    2. Believe it or not, but there was a time when women made an effort to speak in a soft, pleasant-sounding manner. Mothers used to teach their daughters in that regard. In fact, mothers aimed to raise their daughters to be good wifes and mothers themselves. Nobody wanted a slut as a daughter. Fast forward a few decades, and you wonder how women today even get raised. They seem to all raise themselves. The other day I saw a chick enjoying the sun and swiping on her phone. She wore a very short dress and she sat down in a way that fully exposed her panties. It looked quite deliberate to me. Anyway, today parents don’t do their job; schools neither, and the bad influence of mainstream media is well-known.

    3. Complementing a pleasant-sounding voice is knowing when to keep quiet. I like Aaron Clarey’s advice to women that goes “support or silence”. It’s something I bear in mind myself. Countless times in a day I hold my tongue when it seems like (my) Aaron is focusing on something, whether it’s work or because he’s playing a game. For maybe half of all those times I do end up forgetting what I wanted to say, but if that happens then I guess it wasn’t all that important to begin with.

      Lots of insignificant fluff enters the minds of women so it’s quite important for us to filter our thoughts. I think you guys know what I’m referring to, the kind of vapid chatter that women seem very capable of.

    4. Good points Aaron. In the US many girls do raise themselves. In many cases they have single mothers who work all day. They left dad and talk shit about him and men in general all the time. And think they are “strong women” for doing so. Then these girls go to college to get more man hating indoctrination. And hate on the older era we are referring to.

      Yeh, they’re “liberated” but are more miserable than ever. Good luck ladies with no husband and no kids! Maybe they can find an ugly beta or a good cat breed.

    5. “Countless times in a day I hold my tongue when it seems like (my) Aaron is focusing on something, whether it’s work or because he’s playing a game.”

      You are a very sensitive woman! As a guy, I hate most when being interrupted by my mother or my younger sister due to some inane questions. Sometimes that kind of annoyance turns into true anger.

    6. Support or silence is a great concept. Problem is that Western women think that yelling at and degrading men IS support. I’m not kidding. The more they attempt silence the more the volcano builds. And they talk to like-minded, aggressive, toxic women about you. They can’t separate their motives from their actions.

    7. Well, at least that’s what they say. Maybe they just like yelling at men. After all it’s common for abusive people to say such things.

    8. “Lots of insignificant fluff enters the minds of women so it’s quite important for us to filter our thoughts. I think you guys know what I’m referring to, the kind of vapid chatter that women seem very capable of.”

      To be fair, I think plenty of insignificant or dumb shit also enters the minds of men, but we tend to be quieter and kepp it to ourselves.

    9. actually, one of my favorite escorts had an ultra-feminine voice. she was hot as well, but her voice was the most remarkable of her features.
      I still wonder to this day if it was just her natural voice, or if she did a lot of “acting”.
      My experiences with escorts also made it very clear to me, that if women actually want to give you a good time, they are perfectly capable of doing it.
      So when most men complain that they have a lot of arguments with their girlfriends, it is just that they don’t give a fuck about them.
      All of these women would be perfectly capable of being nice & feminine, if they had any incentive.

    10. @ Aaron

      Yes sir. I have directly experienced gaslighting. It’s all you can do to keep it from crushing and destroying you.

    11. Oh, Aaron actually ruined the best Tetris game I’d played in MONTHS when he entered the room, wrongly assumed I had just started a game, and greeted me and touched my shoulder. I was so close to beating my high score. So maybe he needs to take a leaf out of my book in this regard.

  5. I just recalled how I acted on the “support or silence” advice at the workplace too. My colleague was caught off-guard and had to prepare at the last minute 8-10 iPads for a meeting. After I understood the urgency of the situation I moved quietly and quickly to help him update and charge the iPads. It was very tense and yapping would only have made things worse.

  6. CNN setting the stage to forgive pedophiles:

    https://www.bitchute.com/video/AXHrpu3p74Q2/

    I find it appalling that it’s not longer socially acceptable to call a spade a spade in the West if it adds a negative connotation to certain groups, yet pedophiles are receiving more sympathy than working class and law abiding citizens by the mainstream media.

    1. My spam detection system (Akismet) marked both or your posts with BitChute links as spam. That’s surely a total coincidence and has nothing to do with Google’s vice grip on the industry. YouTube suppresses links to BitChute as well, by the way. Alt-Tech is rising and the establishment is starting to panic.

    2. I noticed that and thought it was kind of odd. Correction to my post, the plans went back as far as 2006 – when it was openly being discussed as to how to bring about Poland’s demise. Thanks for commenting and approving the posts. I’ve been enjoying bitchute a lot lately. One can find all types of ‘controversial’ videos. Things I never even knew were even being discussed because I never really ventured off from the mainstream platforms before.

    3. I only accidentally saw those posts. I was about to clear out my spam folder and saw yours on the first page. I get too much spam to manually go through them, so this was simply luck. Next time, please alert me if any of your comments don’t get automatically approved.

    4. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The attitude of entitlement towards reparations/compensation is on the same level as blacks asking for reparations for slavery, only that one group is more articulate and civilised in their approach. Some of their ideas are just delusional too, 15% of Poland’s GDP to go to culture and the arts? “Creative warfare”? But they’re dead serious. Goodness gracious.

    5. @Sleazy’s Wife

      “The attitude of entitlement towards reparations/compensation is on the same level as blacks asking for reparations for slavery,”

      As Hickok45 has pointed out, a small group on social media might look like a large on in real life. We can safely assume that blacks in the US wanting repatriations are a small minority of blacks.
      But even if it’s a genuine majority demand, it doesn’t matter. The US treasury does not have the cash to pay for this, as they are running deficits like they did in war times. The Fed will just go and print USD and buy the treasuries and the blacks will get their handouts. They’ll feel like kings, the world will scream “inflation”, but the reality is that the 57 trillion USD in eurodollars will just soak it all up and there’ll be a modest inflation at best. Then, other countries will try to do the same, pay for reparations for whatever minority group is the newest victim on the block, print money and will actually create inflation and screw up their currency and their country, because well… it’s not like anybody wants e.g. Euros, given 79.5% of all global trade is conducted in USD and hence there is not a 57 trillion USD equivalent demand for credit in EUR or whatever other funny paper currency in this world. But our elites are too stupid to understand that the US fooled the world between 1944 and 1971 and has created this gigantic USD demand.
      The more I think about it, the more it seems likely that this could be used as a weapon by the US to go and screw up any major currency competitor to go and inflate the shit out of their currency.
      It’s not about reparations or virtue signalling or whatever. Minority groups are just useful idiots. Follow the money and it all leads to the one only question in a world of fiat money: “Who can be the last one printing currency?” (hint: it’s the US)

      Search for “”Down The Rabbit Hole” – The Eurodollar Market Is The Matrix Behind It All” and you’ll get red-pilled in terms of monetary policy like you wouldn’t believe.

    6. Sorry to hijack this thread, guys!

      @Neutral: Did you receive my email from ca. three weeks ago regarding bitcoin? I basically was just asking if you could recommend to me a decent cryptocurrency exchange. I do not care so much about noob friendliness. I value safety, reliability and the precense of a competent, easily accessible customer service higher. I am considering Kraken.

      A brief answer would be much appreciated. Can’t wait to get started with dem cryptos and shiet, yo!

    7. @Simplicissimus
      Hm, I didn’t get an email. Checked the spam folders, too. Nothing.
      Can you pls check with Aaron regarding the email address?

      Kraken is good, I use them, too.

    8. @Neutral: That’s odd. I will contact Aaron later or tomorrow. My apologies to you and him for pestering you guys with this nonsense.

      “Kraken is good, I use them, too.” Thanks! That’s (hopefully) all I need to know for now. So Kraken it shall be. (I was that close to writing “Karen”, lol!)

      Sorry again, everyone, for bringing some completely unrelated stuff to your discussion.

    9. @Neutral: Fuck! I just checked my sent messages folder and could not find this email there either. I guess I just wrote it down in Word and then completly forgot to copy it to an actual email draft and send it to you. Sorry for the unnecessary fuss. My hair is getting grey and my grey matter is getting thin, lol!

  7. Has anyone of you read Bostroms “The Vulnerable World Hypotheses”:

    https://nickbostrom.com/papers/vulnerable.pdf

    His basic argument is this:

    In the future we will develop such devastating technologies, that only a global surveillance state will be able to prevent mankind from self destruction.

    e.g. imagine with some cheap kit, teenagers can create mutations of some virus for fun.
    (or bio terrorism basically)

    What is your opinion about this?

    1. I think Bostrom is a bit of a hack. He somehow got funding for a private philosophy institute when he was a post-doc, which is extremely fishy. You do a post-doc if you can’t get an assistant professor job and after doing that, he gets his own institute? It competes b.s. My impression is that Bostrom’s work is simply used for sounding out academic responses to radical ideas. That’s just the more high brow version of politicians having their underlings write some anonymous debate article and putting it in a major newspaper. You can see this also beautifully in the link you provided, which argues for global authoritarianism and full-on surveillance. Gee, this sounds kind of familiar. I can’t quite put my finger on it right now, though.

    2. @Aaron: what do you think is the reason all of the silicon valley nerds and generally people in tech are extreme leftists?
      e.g. I’m a software engineer and the people at my job are all leftists to the core.
      What is it about STEM which attracts mostly these people?

    3. This is an interesting question. I’ve added it to my (very long) list of possible topics for future articles. In short, I concur with your observation. I think the main reason is that these fields attract men with beta qualities. While there is the rather bizarre stereotype of the “brogrammer” and absurd depictions of software companies as frat houses, the typical engineer is about as far from being an alpha as you can be. They simply internalized the collectivist i.e. loser mindset.

    4. @Martin: I don’t think that’s true. Most of the people in tech that I know are in the center and lean right. It just so happens that most of them are very high ups in the companies. So just like in life, the people who are highest on the totem pole tend to lean more to the right.

    5. The people highest in the totem pole give lip service to whatever social cause is trending, like BLM before they turned against the Jews. Those are people who often lack principles. Anyway, I think your perception is off. Modern tech companies are very flat. They also break down hierarchies by enforcing open plan seating arrangements. Thus, a director may sit next to a recent graduate (this is not made up but an insider perspective shared with me by a friend of mine who works at Google). Lifestyle differences are also not that enormous if you’re not part of the C-suite. It’s a difference of degree only. Nonetheless, even a junior engineer may quickly end up in the 90% percentile or so in terms of income. They certainly have no reason to perceive themselves as being at the bottom of the totem pole and if they are not completely insulated from society, they won’t. If you make that much money, you’re high on the totem pole in society, so there would need to be a different explanation for the collectivist mindset one can so often encounter in this industry. For that, see my other comment.

  8. “Somehow I feel like my bf is just trying to find excuses to not spend money on hiring maids and nannies. And he thinks that housewives should do housework??! I think he’s ridiculous!! Housework is for maids, not housewives. A housewife’s job is to ensure that the house is a comfortable place by hiring maids and nannies.”
    https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=4027138324023265&id=695707917166339

    I hope this is a troll confessions post but then again there really are such vapid, nasty and entitled wahmen out there. She even insulted her bf’s mom.

  9. @Sleazy’s Wife

    I also notice that complimenting each other in the West is quite different from in the East. In the East, we usually, if you are adroit enough, indirectly compliment each other.

    Let me provide 3 examples:

    I met this great girl in the university. At some points during our conversation, she told me she knew a couple of homosexual guy. I asked her: “So did they change from gay to straight when you befriend them”. And she blushed before dying from laughter. The meaning is clear so I don’t have to reveal to you.

    Another instance, this is from a Chinese girl I dated longest (no sex, of course). She asked me how did she look in a dress. She asked: “Is this dress beautiful?”, and I told her “The dress is pale compared to you”.

    Another small example, I chit-chat with this American girl. At some points during the conversation, she blurted out “I am just a girl from Arizona who comes to China to learn Chinese…” and I was like “Stop there, you’ve never been just a girl to me.” So cheesy, I know.

    I am not a great talker or anything, but I’ve encountered this sort of compliments all my life, and so it comes rather easy to me. But in the West, people seem to be incredibly direct.

    I know that Kazakh guy. He was literally the master of this kind of nuance. I am not sure how potent it is in the West.

    1. A 4th example illustrates how I fail to grasp the nuance of a conversation.

      This girl was also someone I went out on date with. At some points, she said she wasn’t very good at natural sciences and had to choose a university that was not as prestigious as the one she wished she could go for. My response consisted of 2 parts:

      “I was in the same boat, I couldn’t make it to ABC university. I’ve always felt shameful that I was only good at useless things.”

      At this point, she lightened up. I guess because we had finally found some commonalities between us. But the next part didn’t help her and me at all, I basically said:

      “Some people are very gifted though, they could do well in both natural sciences and humanities. They are really versatile.”

      As you can see, this infers that she is not good enough at doing anything useful. I could literally sense her disappointment. I think she was a very sensitive girl, and I was like walking on an egg shell. I should continue the theme of people who are not good at sciences, but could still one day make a name of themselves. This would assuage her shame, as well as my own disappointment towards myself.

      Implication means everything, really!

    2. One thing I notice is that the inclusion of “you” and “I” occurs rarely in my mother tongue. If we wish to compliment somebody, like say, having a good style, we wouldn’t say:

      “You dress so lovely today, you are so adorable”

      We would say

      “That dress suits so well this season, what a sense of style!”

      If a girl is really pretty, we wouln’t say:

      “You are so pretty, you are incredible!”

      We would say:

      “Such an adorable person that I have the privilege to talk to today”

      That’s my thought on this issue.

    3. Hmm, I’ve never used Mandarin in a dating context so I’ve not really given this topic much thought. My only exposure has been how they talk and flirt in Taiwanese dramas.

      About the natural sciences convo, even though what you said about gifted people may be true, it ultimately doesn’t matter as it didn’t warm your relationship with that girl. I have a friend who talks like that much of the time, pointing out things in a straight-laced manner but unknowingly killing the mood and still persisting. It doesn’t seem like you’re as awkward or unaware as him though. It’s great that after reflecting on these interactions you know how you could’ve handled them better.

    4. “It’s great that after reflecting on these interactions you know how you could’ve handled them better.”

      Almost all conversations in your life (99%) isn’t about what is right and wrong. It is about finding the common ground and being able to relate to the other person.

      It took me a while to realize this.

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