Open Thread

Open Thread #50

The Open Thread is a place for open discussion among my readers. Post anything you feel like sharing! From now on, the Open Thread will no longer be monthly. Instead, there will be a new Open Thread whenever it is adequate. The stage is yours. Go ahead!

The latest Open Thread is made ‘sticky’ to improve access.

Please consider throwing a few coins into the tip jar, and buy my books! They are great. Your support is greatly appreciated.

56 thoughts on “Open Thread #50

  1. Does anyone here have any experience of autism/aspergers? Either being diagnosed themselves or knowing a close friend or family member with this diagnosis?

    1. I have worked with people with autism/aspergers and have a couple of friends with the diagnosis.

      Some of the guys had girlfriends (that were usually plain janes, shy and introverted with nerdy/childish interests like anime) who they stuck with for as long as possible (they probably felt they had low odds of finding a better girl, and I agree with that assessment). But most of these guys had never had a girlfriend and though I didn’t ask outright I assume they were virgins.

      None of these guys who were on the spectrum had a good sense of style, but the ones with girlfriends had decent facial aesthetics, were fairly lean and had good hygiene. The perma-virgin ones were mostly fat and/or had poor hygiene.

      All the aspergers guys I know personally struggle to find work in their preferred field/industry, even though they have the right education. Most of them do simpler jobs with low salaries. I suspect it has to do with poor social/networking ability, bad performance at job interviews.

    2. In online tests I am borderline. So I guess that’s like on the high end of Asperger’s, a few points away from the cutoff from “zero autistic tendencies”.

  2. I just did the first test that popped up on Google search:

    Results of your
    Autism / Asperger’s Screening Quiz
    You scored a total of 32

    If you scored…
    34 & up – Autism likely
    30 – 33 – Possible autism
    0 – 29 – No autism

    1. Based upon your responses to this autism screening measure, it appears that you may have issues or concerns similar to those diagnosed in autism spectrum disorder, (or what used to be known as Asperger’s syndrome, now considered a mild form of autism). People who score similarly sometimes qualify for a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder.

    2. I probably just did the same test. My score was 28. I’d take such tests with a grain of salt. Also, Asperger’s is a diagnosis that is far too attractive. Can you think of any other mental health condition people would brag about? Nobody goes around, boasting about being bipolar. In contrast, I have heard plenty of people in quantitative fields drop that they have Asperger’s or are borderline as they can then humblebrag about being of above-average intelligence, good with numbers, and able to focus on difficult tasks for long stretches of time. Anybody I meet who either mentions they have Asperger’s or allude to it I lose a bit of respect for. Admittedly, I claimed that I’m “probably on the spectrum” twice myself because I was so impressed the first time someone pulled this on me, along the lines of “yeah, I did a great job and in only a fraction of the allotted time but, uh, if you have Asperger’s it’s kind of normal.” Now I think you should just do your job.

    3. Aaron, I did not mean to brag or boast about having Aspergers/Autism. My doctor recommended I be assessed for it when I was seeing them about something else. I recently had an initial assessment and they said they it’s possible I’m Autistic and should go to a full assessment. However, when I asked them if I would receive any extra support after a diagnosis they were unable to articulate any gains or benefit to my life from being diagnosed. So now I’m quite sceptical about the idea of having a “disabled” label put on my record.

    4. Oh, you certainly don’t want to have that label. It is true that some jobs may be earmarked for the disabled, but they are seen as a mere cost of doing business. You can forget about career progression or any kind of responsibility or growth in a position like that. If this is your motivation, getting a professional Asperger’s diagnosis may be counterproductive because guys with this condition should be able to do well professionally. That’s why it is referred to as “high-functioning autism”, i.e. autism with hardly any of the bad parts.

    5. I’d take such tests with a grain of salt.

      Yah for sure, especially with inbetween scores. From what I can gather, this test gives you a higher than not-autistic score if:

      – You can focus on things for longer stretches of time
      – You dislike chit-chat
      – You’re good at noticing patterns others don’t notice

      In my particular case I get into the asperger’s range, not by having any super-autistic tendencies, just because these 3 are high for me:

      – You can focus on things for longer stretches of time
      – You dislike chit-chat
      – You’re good at noticing patterns others don’t notice

      While at the same time i’m a bit less into social bullshit than the average person. It might be a simplified test. Perhaps an in person test would involve the tester looking at correlations and not just total score. Like if you have these 3 high, but everything else is not-autistic-at-all, then these 3 shouldn’t give so many “autistic points”.

  3. I couldn’t play the latest episode of South Park on the official site. I found it odd, so I managed to find the episode on YouTube. The episode makes fun of “strong women” and it was great. A definite recommendation.
    The point here is that when I saw the comments on YouTube, somebody wrote that it was instantly banned in Germany, Holland and Belgium.
    Here’s the youtube link. Better watch it before the Left PC Police does its job, LOL

    https://youtu.be/LLy_bzpLOyQ

    1. YouTube comments are a cesspool, I wouldn’t take anything said there as a flat out truth, ever. I’ve seen this episode on TV last Thursday or Friday and I live in The Netherlands.

    2. Regardless of whether the YouTube comments are correct, it is certainly true that there is an enormous left-leaning bias in Western European media, so I would not be surprised if this episode really got censored in the future.

    3. Thanks for sharing! I have long stopped watching South Park, but I’ll make an exception for this episode.

    4. Seems to be working now on the official site. However, Aaron you’re spot on about the media in Europe being heavily left biased.
      It’s not just in more economically developed countries like Germany, Netherlands etc., but even in my small country which is awful in terms of economy.

  4. You know what I find strange? Attractive girls on dating services. Every attractive girl gets more than enough attention in the real world. Why would she register on a dating service? There are only two possibilities: 1.) There is something wrong with her 2.) She likes the attention.

  5. What do you guys think of the movie “Gone with the Wind?” I’m not sure how well it’s done internationally, but it’s the highest grossing picture in American cinematic history, adjusting for inflation. It was made in 1939, and I believe this movie to be filled with gender politics.

    For those who have not seen it, here’s a synopsis with no spoilers. It is set in Georgia during the American Civil War. It centers around Scarlett O’Hara who is a spoiled aristocrat and the daughter of plantation/slave owners. She is like a petulant child. Beautiful, but selfish, narcissistic, greedy, un-empathetic, and no loyalty to anyone but herself.

    Her path crosses with Rhett Butler played by Clarke Gable. He is handsome, masculine, a risk taker, a rebel, suave, confident, individualist, who’s never afraid to speak his mind and go against the grain. For some reason he falls for Scarlett (for the challenge?) and their relationship takes many twists and turns as the 2 strong personalities clash.

    There are other characters that embody different personalities. Like weak men, feminine women etc. Also some good lessons on war that apply to today. Do you guys think this movie applies to the gender politics of today?

    1. Not really. If that film were made today, Scarlett would have short hair and an overall androgenic look. She wouldn’t have the rich, spoiled and narcissistic traits which are actually pretty representative of reality. Instead, she’d be a Mary Sue.

      Rhett Butler would be whipped and emasculated, and he definitely wouldn’t tell that bitch, “Frankly, I don’t give a fuck what you do. Bye” during the final scene. Instead he would get on his knees and beg and plead for her love and approval.

      There would be no portrayal of ownership of African American slaves in this context either, obviously.

    2. It’s a classic. I have come across references to it even in the non-English speaking world. I haven’t watched it myself yet, but I just put it on my list.

    1. Oh man, this is gold 😀
      On one side, the nerve these women have to even write all that sh*t.
      On the other side, what kind of an emotional trainwreck must any guy be to even think about dating them, let alone doing it.

  6. Allow me to expound a bit on “Gone With the Wind”/Scarlett O’Hara. Almost every woman I talk to about the movie love Scarlett. But in real life they hate women like her. What the he’ll is the reason for this? Do all women dream of being fucking bitches? They just can’t compete with the professional bitches in real life? So they fantasize about a bitch in cinema?

  7. On the flip side some women say they hate Rhett Butler. In real life they are dying for a real man like him. Damn women are crazy.

  8. Yeah Aaron (and everyone who hasn’t seen GWTW) you should definitely check it out. It might take 2 sittings though. It’s 3 hours and 45 minutes long! I liked it so much I did watch it the first time in one sitting.

    Pickernanny — who would they get to play Scarlett today? Lena Dunham? ?
    The reason I think it relates to today is because I have known many Scarlett O’Haras in my life. And, like Rhett have had to learn how to deal with them. I’m having this on going debate with this girl at work who hates the character. I guess she just hates masculine men. She loves Gregory Peck’s role in To Kill a Mocking Bird. So I gave it a chance and watched his closing statement at the end of the trial……….I almost fell asleep.

    Rhett is so cool nobody can take their eyes off of him. Not even straight dudes. Kinda like Sean Connery in James Bond.
    As Pickernanny referred to his famous line was”Frankly my deer, I don’t give a damn.” Thats not the only thing he says to her in that scene!! It’s an incredible scene. You’ll be cheering for him the whole time. I heard when they re-released it in theatres for its anniversary men stood up in the stands and applauded.

    I remember the first time I told a hot bitch off. It was one of the most liberating experiences of my life. She stood there like a deer in headlights, like it had never happened to her before (it probably hadn’t).

    1. In Sweden there is a similar issue: girls do a lot better on the high school leaving examination, but on the (optional) general university entrance examination, boys do a lot better. Some feminists have now called for eliminating the latter as it is clearly biased against women.

    2. @Sleazy

      >> Some feminists have now called for eliminating the latter as it is clearly biased against women.<<

      ROFL. Then they would also need to eliminate high school leaving examination, because it is clearly biased against men. Damn feminists ^^

    3. @Sleazy

      >>I think you did not get the memo. It’s only sexist if women do worse than men.<<

      I am aware of that, but nonetheless it boggles my mind. So much hypocrisy….

  9. I was skimming trough several assanova’s blog posts. Honestly aaron, i dont understand how someone like you can promote such guy: he is basically 10% good/obvious advices and 90% bluepill material. He seem to be living in another reality. Also, things he promotes for example the use of money to have more success with women is ridicolous. Let alone all the claims he made, like the fact that he had 2 full time jobs and university at same time (yeah sure lol), or things he seen/done just to make his points in his posts proven

    1. What has Assanova said that is bluepill?

      And are you seriously saying men can’t use money to be more successful with women?

    2. i am not sure about assanove either since his theme is different then aaron but sometimes he posts interesting stuff.

    3. Just wanted to say that i wrote that in a moment of anger and wanted to vent on someone.

      I overlyexaggerated my statements, i dont agree with him with some stuff, but many things he says are legit

  10. @Frank_HH
    I believe it is a combination of discrimination and the whole classroom setting in high school being fucked up. Teenage boys have their hormones raging especially the high testosterone ones. The authoritative nature of the way students are taught favors the more submissive sex by nature.

    They are told to sit down, shut up, and listen, as some asshole or bitch towers over them. They’d rather be working on their cars or playing sports. Some ancient Greek philosophers used the opposite of todays restrictive teaching methods.

    Instead they put these young males on fucked up prescriptions. I don’t think I’ve e ever taken a prescription drug that didn’t make my dick go limp.

    1. It definitely is. But there are other factors, especially in Germany. When I was going to college, female students could participate in a wide range of sports activities for free, while male students had to pay…. that’s “equality”. O_o

  11. What are you’re thoughts on this.

    If you look like someone who slays or gets pussy and you meet with a woman and don’t act like a person who would slay and get pussy, would that then turn a woman off? Like she had expectations of how you would act but you acted differently ( more beta).

    1. If you look like someone who slays or gets pussy and you meet with a woman and don’t act like a person who would slay and get pussy, would that then turn a woman off?

      Unless you’re an oscar-nominated actor, that’s impossible. So perhaps you mean something more specific. Do you mean if you fail to escalate?

    2. @overdrive
      @ AlekNovy

      Exactly, I just stumbled onto that website below, and im not sure what to think about it.

    3. He’s basically saying that if a really good looking guy that looks like he should have an easy time with women acts like a beta, women will wonder what’s wrong with him and be put off.

    4. I agree with that article by Assanova. It’s just that you phrased the question really poorly. Though to be fair, he’s not precise in how he wrote it either.

      It’s not about alpha and beta (nebulous bullshit terms). It’s something else.

      Let me summarize what he said in more precise terms:

      – If you look like a guy who can easily escalate effortlessly and do lots of casual, women expect you to do it quickly, and give them that sweet fuck

      – If you don’t escalate quickly, women lose all interest in you.

      Explanation: Women go into auto-rejection mode. Notice I said they lose interest, not attraction. They convince themselves they weren’t interested in you anyway, it’s just a way of protecting their feelings. If you can escalate quickly and didn’t, it must mean she’s not good enough for you… Well, she wasn’t interested in you anyway.

      This is the opposite of what they do with guys who are obviously not slayers. The guys who they categorize as potential provider. With such a guy they will give him lots of time to escalate, keep encouraging him. She knows that guys needs encouragement and isn’t making a move because he can’t (not because he’s not interested).

      But even with that guy it’s not infinite. If she encourages him for months and he still doesn’t make a move, she’ll got into auto-rejection mode on that guy as well. It’s just that the window is a lot shorter if you look like the guy who knows exactly how to escalate.

      If you guys aren’t familiar with auto-rejection, it’s a term some pua/dating coach came up with. And I really like it:

      https://www.girlschase.com/content/secrets-getting-girls-staying-out-auto-rejection

    1. This is a classic. Of course, you can bet that those women get paid at least as much as the men. They may even get a premium, which is the case in some other professions as well. In technical fields, it sometimes happens that women get paid more because they are more valuable, but not because they are better than men. Instead, it is now pretty standard that government grants specify that you have to employ a certain percentage of women and minorities. Thus, hiring women is a cost of doing business. You could do the work without them, but you would not get the work without them.

  12. @AlekNovy

    Very good explanation. I think that defines my problems with women. I always assumed it was what some others were alluding to: that girls thought I was this awesome guy, but quickly lost interest when my personality wasn’t strong enough. I’ve even asked female friends about it and some will say that they think such men are pussys.

    But I think your explanation hit the nail on the head. Especially if the girl had thrown out strong signals. Perhaps she feels embarrassed and is trying to save face. If you see such women again they will even act like a bitch to you sometimes.

    1. Women’s entitlement and laziness knows no bounds. As weird as it sounds, women believe that just by giving you a chance to make a move (by merely existing) they have “thrown themselves” at you. And if you don’t make a move quickly enough, it’s an insult, it’s almost like calling her “ugly” to her face.

    2. But only if you are attractive, otherwise she calls the police and sues you with “mind rape”.

    3. But only if you are attractive, otherwise she calls the police and sues you with “mind rape”.

      No, not really, if she’s near you, she believes she’s entitled a move. Even if she would never ever fuck you. The problem comes in when you make a move above “your league”.

      I discussed this in my summary of the levels, I will link to it when I get the time. But basically women want you to make a move at the level she’s at with you, even if you have no chance at having sex. The issue only comes if you make a move which is too many levels above your level. That’s when she “calls the police” and calls you a creep.

  13. Exactly, Alek. However, I have known female acquaintances who are more honest about the matter. They’ll shrug and tell me, “Well, he obviously doesn’t like me.”

Leave a Reply to cani Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.