On the weekend or on some evenings, I read at my local university library as I like a change of scenery every once in a while. My favorite reading room has a few rows of tables with dividers in between. If it weren’t for the barrier in the middle, you would face some other person or an empty chair. You sit down and do your thing. You don’t really want to be bothered by anyone anyway as you are there to read or study.
As I was sitting and
reading shit-posting online, I noticed that the woman sitting across from me grazed my foot with one of her feet. I did not think much of it as this can happen, even though is somehow hardly ever does. A little bit later, though, I felt that foot briefly tapping her foot on my toes and, after a moment, putting her foot again right next to mine. That was not an accident. I gave her foot a swift little kick, which made her stop bothering me. As she got up maybe ten minutes later, I noticed her looking at me and when I looked up, she quickly looked away.
What this woman did was trying to get my attention. It was the daytime equivalent of a woman stepping on your toes in a night club. Yet, a lot of men seem to be completely oblivious of that kind of signal. Among my clients, this is not an uncommon topic. It happens quite often that some guy tells me that women completely ignore him and that he must be invisible to them — only for us to quickly discover that he indeed gets plenty of signals. He just never noticed them.
A key aspect of female flirting is plausible deniability. Rarely will it happen that a woman makes a bold
It helps to be observant. Whenever a woman does something that is ambiguous, more often than not it is her attempt at flirting, no matter how awkward it may objectively be. In her mind she may even be throwing herself at guys. Let’s say you see a woman at the bar who is busy with her smartphone, standing a few feet away from her friends. She asks herself why nobody has approached her yet as she is making it oh-so obvious that she wants to meet someone. That does not mean that she may not just want to reject a few guys to feel better about herself, but that is another story. You’ll never find out if you don’t approach her. That is precisely the point. She won’t approach you. She also does not want to give off clear signals as you not reacting to them would sting, so the best you can expect
Did you enjoy this article? Excellent! Here are some further steps to consider:
1) If you want to read more from Aaron, check out his excellent books, the latest of which are Sleazy Stories II, Sleazy Stories III, and Meditation Without Bullshit.
2) Aaron is available for one-on-one consultation sessions if you want honest advice.
3) Donations for the upkeep of this site are highly welcome.
11 thoughts on “Ambiguous Signals from Women”
Lol! If I were a bit more on the woo woo side of things, I would now speak of a synchronicity, since I just had some footsie experience earlier this week. I sat across this arab chick in the metro; judging from her cloths and general radiance she seemed very posh/preppy, which is of course rare as fuck for arabs. Anyways, since she was young and pretty I could no help glancing at her face for a few seconds in short intervals. She quickly became pretty restless, opening and closing her legs, sliding back and forth in her chair. She also breathed heavily, sighing every so often, looking tense, even a bit pissed, so that the old me would at this point have feared she felt creeped out by me glancing at her. At some point her foot “accidently” touched mine. I returned that favour and eventually placed my foot gently against hers. I let it rest there for the remaining time of the metro ride, exerting a noticeable pressure on her foot, she was pushing back. However, the whole time she looked straight past me and she remained completely stone-faced. I did not push the interaction further and left at my destination, since – posh this, preppy that-, I did not want to risk to get myself stabbed by some mouzie or what have you, lol. (And right now I don’t want to let women into my life, since I fear the chaos that comes along with this.)
In the last 6 to 12 month I have found myself given ever more of this kind of (potential) opportunities. I have lost 3-4 kg and as a result my face has probably never been more chiselled than it is now. Thanks to this and to your excellent consultation I have now pretty much overcome my (let’s call it) dysmorphophobia. Now I really see how – like you put it in “Club Game“ – the main reason, why many guys don’t get puss is that they either don’t recognize their opportunities or for whatever reasons let them basically all slide.
Another example would be women walking so close past me, that we would collide, if I were not to dodge. Many, if not most, might just be entitled and arrogant cunts, expecting me, the mere peasant that I am in their eyes, to make way for their highness. However, only quite recently did it occur to me, that at least a few of them are probably trying to initiate some flirt with me that way. Of course the burden is on me, the man, to find out in what category a concrete woman falls. Very elegantly solved, ladies. Western(ized) women: so slutty and yet so lame.
Unrelated to all of that: best wishes to you and your wife on your marriage!
can relate to the leg pressing and collisions
if chick doesnt like you what she does is walk around and create distance from you.
i dont act on those strangers signs out of fear to get in trouble.
one time in a super market and a mom would almost dance in front of me i was so weirded out , and one time some woman put her tits on my back in a super market .
still it was before i got sick so much that i lost 2 points of attraction because of this.
Thanks for the well wishes, and for this extensive comment. I’m happy to hear that our consultation sessions had such great results for you.
Biggest regret of my life. There are so many ugly feminists out there brainwashing us since we’re young to interpret everything as “she’s creeped out”… to where we’re going to miss out hundreds of situations where the chick was actually interested (not creeped out).
Here’s the reason why they do it:
I covered this in a comment here:
@CENA: „if chick doesnt like you what she does is walk around and create distance from you.“ Yeah, seems logical, but I was pretty dense in this matters (or simply projecting my male mind-set onto the womyns).
“i dont act on those strangers signs out of fear to get in trouble.” Feel you.
„still it was before i got sick so much that i lost 2 points of attraction because of this.“ Sorry to hear this. I hope this can be at least partially reversed.
@Aaron: you’re welcome!
@Alek Novy: thank you very much for proving with your valuable comments time and again that procrastinating can be very productive and even a kind of charity work 😉
From having been obsessed with this subject for years and studying what/how women think. My impression is that the vast majority of chicks do in fact believe they’re “throwing themselves at guys”, with the throwing being vague signals.
I went into that here:
In the “So why do they believe they’re being proactive?” section.
Had a good laugh with a friend some time ago. We had a couple drinks at a high end cafe. There was a couple in their mid twenties on a first date sitting close to us. The girl was ready to go home with him. But you could see he didnt have a clue. She was giving more and more signals. But the dude was still clueless. We started laughing. She knew why and increased the pressure. After about 30 min of him still wondering if she liked him. She walked out to the toilet. So we informed him. His reaction “are you sure she likes me?”. It was hilarious. She was almost on top of him and he still didnt have a clue.
I have seen this exact scenario played out at bars over and over again. Sometimes I even point it out to me friends
On occasion i have even pointed it out to my date, if I happen to be on one. Its hilarious, and adds to the flirting. I have used it as an excuse to test the waters or escalate, if it feels right. Sometimes I follow up with a something like “that girl is too obvious, but I have a little more trouble reading you”, leading her to some more overt signaling.
yea if I could get this down that’d be helpful. I had a coworker who could spot this out but yknow…can’t go on like this feeling helpless.
the cashier from a nearby workplace I can tell because she smashes her lunch in the trash can near me almost every time I’m working and sighs and walks by me super super close etc etc and now I just avoid her. must of been dozens of times before I started to catch on. If I could do this for the ones I’d actually want I might actually get some of what I want out of life.