I was tempted to write that you notice that you’re getting old when you realize that the women you used to jerk off to no longer arouse you. The humorous twist, though, is that this does not necessarily mean that your libido has dropped due to age, but more that your former perfect 10s are now anything but. While I was deeply saddened when I learned about Scarlett Johansson turning 45 at 30, this was nothing to the depression that briefly got a hold of me when a blog reader quite recently pointed me towards present-day Taylor Swift.
A mere year-and-a-half ago, Taylor “TayTay” Swift was widely admired as an Aryan goddess, seemingly combining the best of both the West and the East, due to her sexy Asian eyes. She could have a bit more Asian genes, but I’m not going to argue with the level of white-woman physical perfection that was exhibited by a 25 to 26 year old TayTay! Here she is, in the video of ‘Blank Space’ (Fair Use assumed):
She’s slender and looks really athletic. I don’t know what caliber of woman you guys bang, but I don’t think anyone of you can plausibly say that you can easily find women who are in better physical shape. Of course, some of you may not like her style, but 25 y/o TayTay got you covered. As I elaborated on last year, she looks hot in whatever she wears. Okay, I may or may not have jerked off to music videos of Taylor Swift, but if I did, you can’t blame me for it. I just appreciate the female form when it is presented in such perfection.
That was then. This is now:
TayTay, how could you! You would have hit the wall soon enough, in about five to seven years. There really was no need to push the gas pedal down hard. She just turned 28 and thanks to her new-found appreciation for gluttony as well as a disdain for physical exercise, she’s no longer aiming to be a sexual fantasy for 95 % of men (the other 5 % are gay). Instead, she’s now trying hard to be a feminist role model. Of course, someone as smart and ambitious as Taylor Swift is bound to succeed at whatever she sets her mind to. It used to be the case that if you had a dry spell of 24 to 36 hours, you’d watch a Taylor Swift video and be reminded that you really need to empty your full balls. Now you look at her and if you happened to have a rock-hard boner — “hard like morning wood in the morning”, to quote the great poet will.i.am — maybe because you were revisiting some classic Taylor Swift shots, it would go away right away.
The picture above is not some sad exception or the result of devious imagine manipulation. I found other recent pictures that likewise completely killed my libido. I see myself unable to point towards them, so you’ll have to look them up yourself online, you sick fuck! With Taylor Swift gone, what other white woman can we use to point towards Aryan perfection? Or shall we forever use 25-year-old TayTay as the best that ever was and a model for young women to strive for?
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