Blog reader Alvin quite recently left a comment on sex and its appeal for inexperienced men on the latest Open Thread. I quote the main part:
For me personally, I think when I didn’t have sex there was a kind of “mystique” about it. Once I had it however, that mystique faded; I found that it can be fun, but it wasn’t worth spending a lot of my energy on.
There is quite a bit to talk about. First and foremost, I fully agree with him that inexperienced men easily expect too much from sex. This is furthered by every guy who gets laid once in a blue moon perpetuating the bullshit narrative that sex is oh-so-great. There some other aspects I’d like to highlight. Also, there is a related post on my old blog, which you may want to read as well: Who came up with the “sex is the greatest thing in the world” nonsense?
Sure, sex is fun. However, it is not worth turning your life upside down for it. I think the entire PUA industry would never have gotten off the ground if guys had just paid a hundred bucks for a hooker, get laid once, and then realize that they were chasing a chimera. Sure, you can get laid, but real-life sex is a lot different from what you see in porn. Also, the time investment may not be worth it, as Alvin stated above. On my old blog we often made fun of guys who spent 2,500 bucks on a PUA boot camp instead of banging 25 hookers. The latter would have helped their “game” infinitely more, though.
If an inexperienced guy would just fuck a hooker, a lot of their supposed psychological problems and hookups would go away immediately. I think it’s generally a good idea for a virgin to just pay for sex. Do it once or twice, and get it over with. You’ll learn that it’s not all that special. More importantly, you’ll hopefully quickly get to the point where a woman temporarily will make your IQ drop by 40 points just because you imagine that you could, finally, get laid.
The purpose of sex is to have children. It also facilitates bonding in a romantic relationship. Those two aspects normally go hand-in-hand. In the underclass and in a liberal utopia in which single mothers get impregnated by artificial sperm this may not be the case, but for normal people it is. So, let’s say you go out and want to get laid. Which are the chicks who turn you on and whom you may feel drawn to on a subconscious level? Well, if you’re looking for a one-night stand, you’re interested in women who are available and whom you find arousing. While a woman like that gets your dick hard and may happily let you get your dick wet, the issue is that it would be completely harebrained to engage in a relationship with her. This leads to a big problem: the kind of women you may want to fuck, because they dress sluttily and signal that they are sexually available, would be the worst possible mothers of your children you could imagine.
This leads to the observation that your sex drive can easily lead you astray. If you want variety, you can of course chase after women. Alternatively, open your wallet and pull out a few bills. That’ll do the trick as well. I’d say the bullshit you go through with women, even those you think you’ll just fuck, is normally not worth it.
If you want to have children, look for a woman from a traditional background. Of course she should be attractive. However, sex should not be the first thing on your mind. Well, have fun finding that unicorn. (There are a few out there; it’s just that the odds are very low.) On the other hand, if you are a slave to your cock, you’ll be very likely to make really poor life decisions. Thus, you need to get to the point where you can enjoy sex for what it is, instead of chasing after some fantasy about what it would be like, based on your lack of experience with real women, but extensive exposure to porn.
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