My girlfriend has a personality trait I rarely observe among women: she sets goals and consistently works towards them. This has many manifestations. One of her goals is to have a family, thus she works on acquiring skills that will make her a great wife and mother. For instance, she reads up on child-rearing (!) and works on improving her cooking skills. Another goal of her is to be well-informed and educated. Consequently, she independently seeks out books and articles, and often introduces me to new sources. That personality trait also extends to her hobbies. Her Tetris skills are a sight to behold. For reference, her rank on competitive Tetris on TetrisFriends.com is “Grand Master” (lv. 20), the highest rank you can attain. Yes, she is really, really good at Tetris. I’m fairly decent myself, if I may say so. I’m in the top percentile in the single player modes “Sprint” and “Marathon”; my competitive rank is “Champion” (lv. 15).
I could write a few pages on how great she is, but I’ll just point how she structures her life as opposed to the vast majority of women I met seem to do it. Instead of picking a skill, no matter how useful, and trying to work on it, the vast majority of women move from topic to topic. This week they want to learn Spanish, the next they read the first twenty pages of David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest. This week they sign up for yoga, next week for a spinning class. This inconsistency is evident everywhere. Thus, the sum of utterly bizarre decisions I have seen woman make is mind-boggling. There was one girl I met in a club and hung out a few times afterwards. She had quit her job on a whim because she found it “boring”. When I asked her what her plan B was, she only giggled and said she hadn’t thought of anything yet. Daddy paid her rent and gave her pocket money, so who cares?
Then there are women who have seemingly no ambition in life at all. They spend hours every day browsing Instagram, Facebook, and various e-commerce sites. Another girl I knew had multiple wardrobes full of clothes, of which she had worn most pieces just a single time. Her big “passion” was online shopping. Sometimes I wonder why parents intervene so little. In that case, the mother was more of an enabler and would pick up her daughter for a shopping spree, using daddy’s credit card, of course.
My sample is of course rather biased, but among my male friends, I’d say there is not a single one who is just pissing away his time and money. Partly, this is due to societal pressure. If you’re a young beau, living the high-life on daddy’s money, there will be a time when your old man will have a serious word with you. More likely, though, you’ll be aware that you have to work hard to establish yourself because failure is an imminent threat. You can’t just marry a well-off woman and run the household.
Depending on your abilities and interests your goals can manifest themselves much differently. It also means that you will strive towards a goal because you have to. Learn a trade, study towards a degree, try your hand at entrepreneurship: you’ll pick one of those options because the alternative — fucking up and living on welfare — is just so drab. As a man you are forced to succeed, on whatever scale, because there is no Plan B. On the other hand, young women get encouraged by society to waste their fertile years. It would be amusing if it wasn’t so sad, and if societal consequences weren’t so dire.
Male hobbies are normally goal-driven. You pick a hobby and you keep chipping away. Some people learn a martial art, others meditate, write, or learn to cook. The list is endless. What do women do? With a completely straight face they tell you that they enjoy “people watching” or that they like meeting their girlfriends for coffee. Plenty like to fuck around for fun. On that note, you will find very few guys who do that, which is largely due to the fact that it is a lot more difficult for men to get laid. A woman only has to say “yes”. Looking how poorly the lives of many women shape up, I’d say we men should be glad that we are forced to set goals.
Did you like this article? Excellent! If you want to support what I am doing, then please consider buying my amazing books or donating to the upkeep of this site. If you want tailored advice, I am available for one-on-one consultation sessions.
7 thoughts on “Female vs male hobbies”
My hobbies are writing, fire arts, volunteering, reading. Things that fill me with purpose, productivity, fulfillment. The last thing I want to do is people watch, since most people are boring and/or ignorant.
You’re way ahead of your competition in that regard.
Even shopping is now considered a accomplishment by them. Men are judged on how much money they make. Women are applauded for spending it. They even claim to be better in managing money. I mean really? Even using one creditcard to pay off another is now considered a female accomplishment?
Do you really think there is a different between female and male hobbies? I don’t think so – I would even say the difference is how a person has been brought up. I know men who are in their thirties acting like a teenager: Football (soccer in Germany), going to the gym to get pictures for tinder, caring about their cars or having the newest smartphone/hats…however, I know only a few men who are different. The easiest way to seperate them is by listening what and how they‘re talking: The ones are talking about ideas, how to develop themselves/skills, the others boast and gossip at the same time, blame other ppl about their own failures.
I don’t think there are currently and prospectively a lot of people who have some „real“ meaningful and vital hobbies, due to the fact the way they grew up has not given them the chance to find and maintain their creativity and discipline.
Oh, the old leftist lie that it’s all about nurture. How many women tinker with electronics in their spare time or play chess? Fun fact: the German chess federation spends about half their budget on women, yet only about 5% of their members are female. I’d say you should do a bit more research before regurgitation politically correct falsehoods.
Somebody link this dude(ette) to that documentary about the gender praadox. It’s a great go-to resource on this topic.
This documentary series by Harald Eia is fantastic! Thanks for introducing it here. I spent the last couple of days watching all seven parts, and even though it aired in 2010 it certainly still feels like it speaks to the present. Very much so.