This is another old and unpublished post of mine, which I originally wrote in early 2010.
I recently received an email in which a guy made an interesting observation while reading through some of my earliest public forum posts:
“In one of your post, you wrote how you had trouble sleeping next to a new girl at her place, and that it took you a few weeks to get comfortable. This wasn’t a factor that you used to take away from your congruence and in your ability to bed women. Most guys on the other hand, would take situations like that, and think “There is something wrong with me, and therefore, I must correct this first” and then wouldn’t be able to meet women because they feel like their unable to be congruent with who they think they have to be (perfect).”
I would agree that just being grateful for what you get is a great trait of a seducer. In fact, in my very first “field report” written in 2006 or 2007, when I was just dabbling with seduction, I ended up making out a girl, and I was stoked for days afterwards. It felt great that after having gotten virtually no experience with girls, which was largely because I did not want to, I could just awkwardly walk up to a girl, stammer some sentences, hang around for a little bit and somehow end up making out with her. Of course, it all went downhill afterwards because I couldn’t quite process what just happened, particularly as it happened so quickly. Nonetheless, I did enjoy it.
However, what I often notice when I read other guy’s “field reports” is that they are beating themselves up over their alleged shortcomings. They don’t see what they have achieved — talked to some girls even though it’s something they usually don’t do, maybe kissed her, maybe gotten a phone number. If your goal is to get better with women, then this beats sitting at home and playing World of Warcraft. Instead, those guys focus on what they have failed to achieve and blame themselves if they didn’t get the girl. Some of the most painful posts to read are from guys that get angry because they have gotten “last minute resistance”, i.e. the girl didn’t end up having sex with them. But what’s so bad about having a hottie in your bed you can make out with and feel up to your heart’s content?
We are not in the Olympics here. In the end it’s your choice. You can either cherish your successes however small or insignificant you think they are, or you can focus on your shortcomings. But which one will probably be the happier person and in the long run the more successful guy with women?