Dating

Reminder: Women can be pretty great

When we discuss women, and dealing with women, and all the stress and trouble they cause, it’s easy to get the impression that we’re a bunch of misogynists. That’s not an impression I’d like to give, though. Admittedly, I have had plenty of negative experiences with women, but they pale in comparison to the many great times I’ve been having with women. This obviously prompts the question why we focus on the negative. That is rather easy to answer. Probably nobody sits down and writes a book about how fucking great his life is. No, instead people discuss challenges, struggles and failures. Pain is at the heart of many great works of literature, and shitty ones, too. It’s the same with blog and forum posts, or with any guy who ever seeks out professional help. Heck, certainly never has anybody booked a consultation session with me to tell me how great everything is going with the women in his life.

Of course we talk about women who take men for a ride, of women who are unfit to be girlfriends and wives, of armies of bitches in clubs. I certainly don’t want to claim that such women don’t exist. They are everywhere. Yet, you can certainly find women whom it is fantastic to spend time with. No, not just to get your dick wet.

I believe in the man-as-a-builder (or provider) archetype, as well as the woman-as-nurturer archetype, which complements it. Most problems we have been experiencing with women are due to society and misguided ideology telling them that they have to be builders and creators too, even though it is not their true nature. I don’t want to come home to a woman who wants to out-earn me, out-geek me, and prove her intellectual superiority in conversations. I don’t want to be with some moron, but apart from that I don’t care all that much about e-duh-cation. I want to relax around a woman who takes care of me and, no, it wouldn’t bother me to “pay her out” so that she only needs to work 25 or so hours a week, when the net result is that I get to enjoy a nicer home, and the cats get to enjoy more company.

But where am I going with this? Well, the issue I see is that there are guys out there who resent women, although they lack experience with them. Aaron Clarey mocks them as “VirginTOWs”, a pun on the MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) movement. Going your own way is fine, but I am of the opinion that you should not just follow some leader figure but instead make the decision to go your own way as a consequence of your experiences. Inexperienced guys can easily fall into the trap that they just soak up all the alleged negativity in the MGTOW community and assorted places. This is no different from inexperienced guys wanting to become PUAs, not knowing what kind of bullshit the PUA community really entailed (and what it’s like to actually get girls). We all know how that ended.

24 thoughts on “Reminder: Women can be pretty great

  1. as a child abuse survivor raised by a single mom who will never see justice (like millions of other boys across america), it’s nice to know that aaron clarey thinks I’m just an unfuckable loser who is suffering from a case of sour grapes. I sure am interested to hear his advice on anything in particular, he obviously cares about men’s issues and isn’t retarded.

  2. Just to remind that your book Sleazy Stories was entertaining and didn’t talk much about the negative. Your blog is almost always negative especially the new one.

    1. Sleazy Stories was not intended to be a guidebook, though. Yet, when I analyze topics, I tend to prefer more of a realist approach, which some seem to interpret as being negative.

    2. The blog content does have a negative vibe.

      Or is it simply posts about society and women which are based on what’s going on these days?

      Sure, we talk about rape. Because that Facebook live feed of a rape happened. You ain’t gonna hear these kinds of issues discussed in the real fake news (CNN, BBC, CBC, Huff post, etc)

      It is like telling someone fat the negatives about being fat. Or should he or she just embrace being fat? I say choose the former!

    1. If you think it’s similar, then you didn’t watch the video, just the title. He goes into research about how less-attractive women are more likely to become leftists/feminists. Among other things. While the title is “about the march”, the video is more about the state of the mating market/genders in general.

  3. Feminism has destroyed almost all hope for western women to enjoy life. They’ve taught women they can find happiness in both WGTOW and serial monogomy, and to drop any man the moment they feel they are above him in anyway. I pity men willing to marry these women.

  4. Most of the MGTOW types I encounter seem to have arrived there by a standard progression. They had horrible outcomes with the opposite sex, they often tried to remedy this with PUA stuff and crashed harder. Trying to improve their marketability with the opposite sex was hard, so they eventually give up. Obviously, going your own way sounds better than saying you are involuntary celibate. There probably are exceptions, but I do not think a psychologically healthy outlook is to have life strategy where the logical end game is to be a hermit.

  5. Concerning the “negativity” that some people find on you’re blog. I do have to say that there’s an enormous difference in tone when it comes to you’re books, as compared to you’re blog, though. In you’re books you paint a realistic picture but you add more optimism to it.

    Now, I still read you’re blog but I can’t deny that I havn’t had that impression at times.

    This is a good post! I think the reason why you write so much about women who are dysfunctional for relationships, is that we, men, never had anyone telling us this. It’s like our society focuses a lot of it’s effort on bringing out men’s faults , but doesn’t dare to say anything negative about women. That’s where I think the value of you’re blog lies, and I think that this is what men these days need.

  6. @guys whining about “negativity”.

    The number one reason guys don’t get as much success with women as they can… is because they have been mislead their entire life about female nature.

    Society goes out of its way to hide women’s “flaws”. And when I say “flaws”, i don’t mean that “women are flawed”. It’s just that society hides these features of female nature as a marketer would hide product flaws.

    They’re not really flaws in a negative sense in my own estimate. I hold no grudge against women for having them (I assume Aaron is the same). Just how evolution shaped women. Are we “flawed” because we can get a hard-on even seeing a fruit that resembles an ass?

    With that said, NOBODY EVER TALKS ABOUT THIS STUFF in the mainstream/anywhere in society. Aaron is doing a job of battling 20 years of BRAINWASHING when a reader comes here. Of course he has to be direct and focus on just listing/discussing all the “flaws”… BECAUSE the reader stumbling her WOULD HAVE NEVER HEARD ABOUT THEM otherwise.

    It only seems “negative” to you privileged unempathetic clowns… because you can’t put yourself in the shoes of the intended audience. To you all of these things are “common sense”.

    “Yeah yeah, we know that women pretend to dislike sex with johnny cuck, and then go bang bikers in bathroom behind johnny provider’s back… gosh aaron why are you so obssesed about this, it’s as if this is the only defining feature of womanhood, darn, why do you keep talking about it”.

    BECAUSE ITS NOT INTENDED AT YOU. It’s intended to people who’ve never heard about it. You’re so used to being on this side of the fence, you have no idea how oblivious the average guy is. He’s never heard of *any* of these flaws.

    There are trillion-dollar industries out there spreading propaganda the other way. Every government forces this propaganda through the school system. Boys/guys never hear about this stuff that’s been kept away from them. That’s why counter-propaganda has to keep listing all the things that were hidden away from the masses.

    As it turns out, society/mainstream is all about hiding flaws. So if a blogger is about exposing “things society doesn’t tell you/hides from you”, by MERE consequence, all the things he’ll talk about will be flaws. But that’s society’s fault for having suppressed them.

    1. It only seems “negative” to you privileged unempathetic clowns… because you can’t put yourself in the shoes of the intended audience. To you all of these things are “common sense”.

      Does it seem like I’m beeing too harsh with this sentence? Actually i’m not. For anyone to come to this conclusion, they have to be quite narcissistic and self-centered.

      When you read Aaron talking about/explaining something you already know… your mind goes “but I know this, why do you keep repeating it Aaron, I already know this, what are you Aaron, obsessed with this topic?” “Aaron keeps repeating things about female-centered flaws, therefore he’s obssesed with negativity”.

      One problem: It’s ONLY a repeat for **you**. The world doesn’t revolve around YOU… He’s not writing the blog ONLY FOR YOU. Aaron almost single-handedly helped bring about the destruction of the PUA community. You know how he did that? “By being constantly negative”.

      Back in the day we had concern trolls constantly coming in here pleading with Aaron to “not be so negative about the pua industry, and please mention some of its positives”… He kept writing so new people would be exposed to the flaws/scaminess of the PUA industry.

      He helped bring about a much needed reformation doing that. When there are 500 PUA blogs selling a lie… The one blog exposing their lies has to focus on their lies… It doesn’t have time to make sure that every other post is “oh and btw, they do some things right, here are their positives”.

      If aaron and other pua critics were “less negative” about the PUA industry, we’d still have idiots running around in flurry hats doing mystery method, or buying into many of the hyper “game makes you a god with jedi-mind control powers” shit that dominated before Aaron helped bring them down.

  7. A guy whose laycount has reached triple digits is arguably the one who is wounded most by his conquests. Along with the emotional rollercoaster he experienced with his females, there came also disgusting discoveries of treachery, sad realization afterwards, and eventual acceptance of female fickleness and cruelty. In one sense, you can argue that a player is a survived victim of female duplicitous motives and machinations. Given his background in inducing women to have extremely quick sex, he must have seen more dark facets of women than almost all guys reading this blog. Thus the man’s writings are necessarily fed with all past feelings of their master. This is obviously one of the roots of his cynical tone. This leaves us with a much deeper insight: no one walks out the arena of sex and love without bearing wounds and trauma. The wounds may close, but the pains are there when words awake it. This is written deeply from my own experience.
    But it’s not as if he didn’t strive to offer his readers a more objective outlook on this subject matter. When it comes to answering what particularly trigger the female lust and sexual attraction, none other than him provide the most objective accounts. Beginning by diligently reminding readers that his unusual success is due largely to his very fortunate height and ending it by passing the verdict that we as men can only attract females of comparable sexual attractiveness and status, Sleazy is undoubtedly the most honest and grounded “stud” you will find out there. While the success of bringing to light the scientific mechanisms in human mating must waited for the coming of seductionmyth.org (its team, including Alek Novy has reached a marvelous achievement there, by the way), his honest is worth of our notice. We are therefore deeply indebted to these men and their persistence in uncovering the Truth, and in subduing lies and deceptions around this topic. You guys witness this yourself, the whole PUA scene is almost gone for good, and I argue that Sleazy’s attempt to wreak it must play a crucial to its demise.
    Thus I would like to make a proposal to readers as follows:
    You read Sleazy’s blogs to:
    – To be more aware of and to be cautious against female manipulations (especially guys who are financially successful but inexperienced socially and with women)
    – To have a basic understanding of female agenda
    – To get rid of toxic feminist indoctrination planted in your education (therefore restore your pride as a man)
    Each and every time you read on certain topics, always ask yourself at whom the writer aim (the audience), and to which group of women he is directing his criticism (the targets).

  8. I do think, however, that Sleazy’s blog still remain silent on the topic of empathy for the opposite sex. Another successful player, albeit receiving way more media attention, has come up with it in one of his most recent podcasts:

    http://www.diapersoff.com/episode-58/

    It’s incredibly interesting if we can have a written conversation between Sleaze and Janka in future, where the two masters can sit down and indulge in their past reminiscence.

    1. You naturally develop empathy after you get laid 50-100 times. It just happens after you get so much experience that you notice from experience how women are making self-hurting decisions, and get bad outcomes.

      But this is just Janka projecting from his own place. He looks like a male model. Women have been throwing themselves at him since he grew a facial hair. They have begged him for attention, approval and generally lowered quality of life just to be with him.

      However, most guys who aren’t getting laid don’t suffer from lack of empathy. They suffer from delusion. In fact the average guy has too much empathy. The average guy is brainwashed to see women as poor lil victims who are “used by men”. As she used by the player, you need to give her support and listen to her as she complains about the last scumbag who pumped and dumped her…

  9. A guy whose laycount has reached triple digits is arguably the one who is wounded most by his conquests. Along with the emotional rollercoaster he experienced with his females, there came also disgusting discoveries of treachery, sad realization afterwards, and eventual acceptance of female fickleness and cruelty. In one sense, you can argue that a player is a survived victim of female duplicitous motives and machinations. Given his background in inducing women to have extremely quick sex, he must have seen more dark facets of women than almost all guys reading this blog. Thus the man’s writings are necessarily fed with all past feelings of their master. This is obviously one of the roots of his cynical tone. This leaves us with a much deeper insight: no one walks out the arena of sex and love without bearing wounds and trauma. The wounds may close, but the pains are there when words awake it. This is written deeply from my own experience.

    But it’s not as if he didn’t strive to offer his readers a more objective outlook on this subject matter. When it comes to answering what particularly trigger the female lust and sexual attraction, none other than him provide the most objective accounts. Beginning by diligently reminding readers that his unusual success is due largely to his very fortunate height and ending it by passing the verdict that we as men can only attract females of comparable sexual attractiveness and status, Sleazy is undoubtedly the most honest and grounded “stud” you will find out there. While the success of bringing to light the scientific mechanisms in human mating must waited for the coming of seductionmyth.org (its team, including Alek Novy has reached a marvelous achievement there, by the way), his honest is worth of our notice. We are therefore deeply indebted to these men and their persistence in uncovering the Truth, and in subduing lies and deceptions around this topic. You guys witness this yourself, the whole PUA scene is almost gone for good, and I argue that Sleazy’s attempt to wreak it must play a crucial to its demise.

    Thus I would like to make a proposal to readers as follows:

    You read Sleazy’s blogs to:
    – To be more aware of and to be cautious against female manipulations (especially guys who are financially successful but inexperienced socially and with women)
    – To have a basic understanding of female agenda
    – To get rid of toxic feminist indoctrination planted in your education (therefore restore your pride as a man)

    Each and every time you read on certain topics, always ask yourself at whom the writer aim (the audience), and to which group of women he is directing his criticism (the targets).

    1. Back when the PUA scene was in full swing, aaron was being accused of being “too negative” and too harsh when exposing the PUA scene.

      The same kinds of concern trolls back then were informing Aaron that he shouldn’t “only blog about the negatives and scammy aspects of the community”… That he should spend more time talking about the positives too…

      But if Aaron had done that (not been “so negative”), he would have never destroyed the scammy community. Guys would still be getting their lifes wrecked by the seduction community.

      Guys today have no idea how good they have it, and it’s all thanks to a battle they never watched. The community in general today is at least 400% more useful to a newbie… because the scammers were destroyed by Aaron. The community has been cleansed, through Aaron’s (and a few others’) constant pointing out of the negatives.

  10. “You naturally develop empathy after you get laid 50-100 times. It just happens after you get so much experience that you notice from experience how women are making self-hurting decisions, and get bad outcomes.”

    I am afraid we are talking about two different things. Empathy for women, in my opinion, is formed by mostly knowledge, sexual experience enhances this to a significant greater degree, adding more dimensions to it. Being able to identify with the hardship and struggles many women had to put up with during exceptional difficult times such as war is a good example to start. But perhaps that is a little too far-fetched, then starting with the notion that women are significantly weaker than men, therefore were frequently subjected to violence and terror. Alcoholism is a great problem in my country, and many many women were still subjected to this form of abuse. From my Chechen and Kazakh friends, I have learnt that men from these countries can have very violent temper and usually took their anger to their wives or girlfriends. These facets could be recognized with or without ever engaging in sexual activities.

    A statement as simple as:

    Women were capable of doing evil such as men, but the greatest crimes against humanity is committed mostly exceptionally by men.

    can be proven easily by good historical knowledge. Sleazy’s remembered to say so.

    “Is the solution for this guy to “develop more empathy”?! Is his problem that he’s not empathetic enough toward the chick he’s asking us about?”

    I don’t see anything relevant in his example. The guy just burdened himself with unnecessary information, that’s all.

    Instead, what we are arguing is mostly about style. Style, when being misunderstood, can cause severe consequences. Young guys, with no experience, read this blog and see the whole race of women as no more than rats. Such a scenario is not intended by any of us at all, and it is a real possibility. An opened discussion on style is, therefore, absolutely necessary. A thread on “A guide to reading Sleazy” or “A comparative guide to Sleazy’s style” is almost as welcomed.

  11. In order to form the guide, I will have to amass lots of your former writings in the form of quote, then juxtapose them with their seemingly conflicting posts that cause a bit of a sensation here, to show that at various times you adopt a different mode of argument/persuasion. Obviously a bit of knowledge in textual analysis is needed to show consistency in my argument. (Classic method in History by the way)

    Fortunately, I have a habit of remembering, bookmarking and copying into Words many of your outstanding quotes. The downside is that such a guide can be quite time-consuming to compile.

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