Open Thread

Open Thread 2019 (#7)

The Open Thread is a place for open discussion among my readers. Post anything you feel like sharing! From now on, the Open Thread will no longer be monthly. Instead, there will be a new Open Thread whenever it is adequate. The stage is yours. Go ahead! Note that there is also an Open Thread on Aaron S. Elias’s site.

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98 thoughts on “Open Thread 2019 (#7)

  1. Hey sleazy, could you please write an article on the subject of the “Halo effect”? I often encountered girls who were into some tall attractive male model, but they always argued that they weren’t doing it for the looks but for charakter, aura, charisma whatever… or some other bullshit excuse! But we all know that tall attractive male models have plenty of character, aura, charisma… it’s called Halo effect ;=)

    1. He mentioned it on the post the other day. Women genuinelly fool themselves that they’re into a guy for one reason, and are into him for another.

      There were even experiments done about this. Where chicks will get attracted to guys based on “shallow” criteria, but conciously believe that something about his personality/behaviour is what attracted them.

    2. Is that really the “halo effect”? I thought that is the term for attributing positive traits to attractive people in general. Your example is about women rationalizing why they like someone, even if it contradicts their real reasons.

    3. @Sleazy

      Well, I think it depends on whether she genuinely buys into her own self-deception…

  2. How to avoid self sabotaging behavior? There are many instances of me fucking up perfectly good bangs & One Night Stands…

    For example, there was that Malaysian college student, with whom I had some tech courses together and one time on our way back home – it was already late – she asked me if we wanted to continue learning or maybe drink a coffee at her home… smiley face, wink, wink. I got panicky, refused with some lame excuse, and headed home. Alone. Stupid me.

    1. “people this stupid shouldn’t be allowed to live” – Maybe I shall do Seppuku.

      @GMoney
      That’s a brilliant clip. Nails it 100% ^^

      My reaction minutes after that incident: “What the fuck have I done? Noooooooo O_o”

      After that she lost “interest” and started avoiding me. Married some Malaysian guy and got impregnated by him. (According to my sources they have strict Islamic cultural rules in Malaysia, so a girl has to marry young and give birth to many children)

    2. Why did you not take her up on that offer? There can be many reasons. Having a bad feeling about it is a very valid one. Of course, if the problem is that you can’t pull the trigger, it’s a matter of pushing yourself. Having a few more such experiences should jolt you into action eventually.

    3. >>Why did you not take her up on that offer?<<

      I have given it a great deal of thought….

      I am paranoid about girls getting pregnant. I don't trust them when it comes to contraception / birth control. Unfortunately I don't like condoms, so I've been thinking about getting my sperma cryo-frozen and then getting a vasectomy.

      I witnessed many friends and relatives getting trapped into fatherhood & relationships by girls who "just forgot the pill for one day"…. O_o ^^

    4. Of course, if you point out that the pill doesn’t work like an on/off-switch, you’re a misogynist.

      Your concerns are very valid. Interestingly, I know a few people who have undergone a vasectomy. From that, I know that freezing your sperm may be optional. Your balls still produce sperm. Apparently, it is possible to extract some surgically. If you’re considering a vasectomy, I’d look into that.

    5. @Sleazy

      Interesting. So extraction of sperm might be an alternative to freezing. I will look into that matter and also ask my urologist. Thank you for pointing that out.

  3. @GMoney
    That’s a brilliant clip. Nails it 100% ^^

    My reaction minutes after that incident: “What the fuck have I done? Noooooooo O_o”

    After that she lost “interest” and started avoiding me. Married some Malaysian guy and got impregnated by him. (According to my sources they have strict Islamic cultural rules in Malaysia, so a girl has to marry young and give birth to many children)

    1. Dude relax losing bangs is unavoidable, her interest might be fake and also even if bang you will likely be apart faster then you think. think of women like socks.

    2. @CENA

      I am quite relaxed, but there is a difference between losing bangs and “deliberately” fucking up You-can-have-it-100%-bangs… ;=)

    3. If it helps, tell yourself that this woman could have been your worst nightmare. Joking aside (?), yes, you lost one of the easiest lays you’ll ever get in your life because women normally don’t push the interaction forward like that. It could well be that she was frustrated that you hadn’t picked up on all her subtle signals, so she thought that it’s time to go all out. As you didn’t take her up on her offer, she concluded that you’re not interested.

    1. This was a great clip. There is a follow-up, where the PUA, who claimed that he has “seen game work over and over” says that it takes 300 approaches to get one lay. If that’s your ratio, you’re selling the wrong product. Then again, a poor effort/success ratio has been a hallmark of PUAs ever since.

    2. A lay in every 300 attempts is like a 0.334% success rate. You’d have to be completely insane to do grind through all that. Imagine the quality of chick you’d end up settling for.

  4. The youtube fitness industry these days is some of the shadiest shit since the PUA scene. Well, fitness magazines have always been shady. However, you’d think that this day in age that ‘fitness influencers’ wouldn’t continue to propagate the fallacy of just “working hard”, not “being a little bitch” and not “making excuses.” All the while they are lying about their obvious steroid use.

    The surprising thing to me his how stupid and smug these youtubers come across. They must believe that everyone is as dumb as them. Pretty much the majority of them have a $999 program guaranteed to get you ripped just like them, the all natural way.

    This kid does a comical job of exposing and roasting them.

    https://youtu.be/WjytEso-c6k

    1. @Pickernanny

      The biggest lie about it are those progress photos. They can make a chubby person into a ripped person within 24 hours (dehydration, light, shadows, camera angels, Photoshop)

    2. Is this attainable naturally?

      https://youtu.be/IyOk7AFj5KQ

      Absolutely not. Just a buch of Zyzz wannabes.

      The dead giveaway is the massive traps, veiny and shredded look at about 5% bodyfat. Not even desirable in my opinion.

    3. Jeff Seid has a video up there, telling guys that they can look like him without roiding if they only made an effort. Note that the context is that he is talking about doing roids.

  5. He’s funny. And yes these guys are just trying to sell stuff. But you dont have to use steroids for that body type. You can get that by just eating healty and working out. They are in good shape but it isnt extreem. Unless you’re just not build for it. I dont use steroids and i have that body type. But i work out all my life. I started at age 7. I didnt just get this way by working out for a couple weeks. It’s much harder to get ripped if you start at later age. It’s best to start before puberty kicks in. That way you just need to keep it like that. I only need about two or three hours a week to stay like this. It’s much less work.

    1. The kind of muscle mass you can build naturally is quite limited. There are a lot of fake naturals out there, which certainly fools some people into maintaining unrealistic expectations.

    2. @Aaron: The guys in the video dont realy have unnatural muscle mass. They are full of shit telling guys they can get that way in a short time without steroids. Not if a guy has been overweight all his life or has low T levels. But if you have a normal build and normal T levels you can get your body looking like that. It just takes time and hard work. There is no magical workout for someone overweigt or a soyboy to transform like that in a couple weeks. Thats a unnatural and unrealistic expectation. And you’re not going to get unnatural results without unnatural intervention. But that body type itself is not unnatural. I have that body type and i have never used steroids. My father has that bodytype and he never used steroids. And my natural T levels are a bit high. But not extreem.

    3. @Ben – yes and no

      Depends what you mean by look like that. You can get that amount of muscle mass with steroids for sure, anyone can.

      But can you look-like-that without taking roids? Most people cannot. Being able to maintain that muscle-mass and pump while dieting year round to be 7% bodyfat will leave most guys looking depleted, not hard. That hard look comes from steroids.

      So you can have that size and bodyfat, but not that look.

    4. You can get that amount of muscle mass with steroids for sure, anyone can.

      Typo, meant to say You can get that amount of muscle mass without steroids for sure, anyone can.

    5. I have my doubts because steroids really make muscles pop. You don’t get that as a natural lifter.

    6. Yeah, you just don’t. Natural lifters just look “soft” in comparison to roiders, even if everything else is equal (same muscle size, same bodyfat etc).

      And unless someone is borderline annorexic when they’re starting out. For most people maintaining a low bodyfat level at the same time as maintaining a high-muscle mass is almost impossible without steroids.

      Not physically impossible, just practically impossible. You’ll be hangry and unproductive all day trying to maintain that.

    7. @AlekNovy: {Depends what you mean by look like that.}

      Meaning that my body looks almost identical to his body. My sixpack is even a bit better. And i have never used steroids. Same muscle mass and same low bodyfat. And i do eat healty, but no extreem dieting. Just different dinner times, good genetics and bodycare.

      Fun fact: I also never eat breakfast. Nothing to eat before 12:00. I never did eat breakfast. But i do drink 3 coffee with 3 sugar each. {No sparkles for me}. And i do eat one extra light meal around 21:30. So 3 meals total 12:00/18:00/21:30 and coffie in the morning.
      Workout 3 times 1 hour a week. 30 min jogging, 30 min muscle building.

    8. And i dont even lift. I have only one weight of 7.5 kg for my total workout. Thats it! You dont need to lift weights to build muscle mass. There are 1001 ways to build muscle mass without using a single weight.

    9. @ben
      “Fun fact: I also never eat breakfast. Nothing to eat before 12:00. I never did eat breakfast. But i do drink 3 coffee with 3 sugar each. {No sparkles for me}. And i do eat one extra light meal around 21:30. So 3 meals total 12:00/18:00/21:30 and coffie in the morning.”

      Maybe if I could eat like you I too would be able to do it 🙂 Whenever I get to six pack level of eating after a couple of months I start getting ravenous and end up pigging out like I just came out of the GULAG.

      Do you experience much hunger eating the way you do? No snacks between meals? Like an apple or something? Are you able to be productive with this eating schedule?

    10. GMoney: I have no problems with this eating schedule. I started this eating schedule around the age of 10/11. So this is normal for me. I started working out at age 7. So working out is normal for me. I dont experience much hunger. I dont eat much snacks between meals. I do drink selfmade smooties or orange jus in between. About 1,5 liters a day. So i do get lots of energie from those. This is the body i had since puberty. I think thats the biggest advantage i have. I started at a young age. I did not get this body by working out 3 hours a week. Thats all that is needed to maintain it. In my teens i worked out 3 hours every day. I had a bit of a traditional Japanese upbringing. Only perfection was good enough. I had a big guy with a stick standing next to me while working out in my teens. If i did it wrong or not fast enough, he would hit me with that stick. I didnt have a savespace for crying about hurt feelings. Crying would only make him hit me harder.

    11. Meaning that my body looks almost identical to his body.

      [insert classic comic of average guy posing in front of mirror and seeing a professional bodybuilder]

      Yah, mmm. Tell you what. Take a pic of yourself. Open pics of these roided by fitness celebs and then your pic, side-by-side. Notice if you still look “identical”.

      P.S – Don’t blame the camer if you don’t. Hint, it’s the mirror that’s lying.

    12. @AlekNovy: I was a high level freefighter in my teens and early twenties. I dont need to have a pic. I have been surrounded by people looking like that all my life. And guys much bigger. Both those with and without steroids. There is a limit to natural muscle mass. But the guys in the video are not over that limit. This doesnt mean they did or did not use steroids. Or that the guys are not loosers. I think they are full of shit. But their build is normal for freefight in the medium weightclass. Thats were this becomes funny. These guys are talking about being modern day gladiators. But they wouldnt last a min in the ring. They would cry like a baby when they face a real modern day gladiator. Real modern gladiators dont behave like that. They dont care much about looking good for women. They get their face bashed on a regular basis. These guys are fake as can be. But not everyone who’s in good shape uses steroids. People have often said that about me. But i never used anything.

    13. @AlekNovy: I havent been in a ring fight for 10 years now. But even now at 37 i can still take on both these guys at the same time. Modern gladiators my ass. They are more like a male version of Barbie.

    14. Yah sorry no, that not the topic. It’s not about whether “it’s possible to be in shape” without steroids.

      Of course it is!

      We are talking about that specific look (THAT muscle size, bodyfat and dryness/hardness).

      If you have a similar bodyfat and a bit of muscle it’s very easy to convince yourself you look almost like a fitness model. You’re probably closer to the Bruce Lee/Tyler Dyrden fightclub look.

      My gym is full of naturally skinny guys with 12 inch biceps who think they look like a fitness model coz theyre lean.

      Hint, the guy they think they’re “nearly identical to” has 16 inch biceps at 5% bodyfat… And these guys need a solid 5 years of regularly etting PR lifting records on a biweekly level before they get to that muscle size naturally.

      And they might be at 9% bodyfat which is a whole different universe to 5% in terms of natural maintenance especially with that size of muscle. But many of them believe that it’s a stone throw’s away and they’re nearly there.

    15. Tl:dr

      Compare Brad Pitt physique in Troy vs his physique in fightclub.

      A ton of guys who have the fightclub look, see themselves in the mirror and think they’re almost identical to how Brad Pitt looks in Troy.

      But these two looks are years apart. I.e. takes a couple of years of lifting max weights (or rouds to get there faster)

    16. Quoting AlekNovy:
      “Depends what you mean by look like that. You can get that amount of muscle mass with steroids for sure, anyone can.” [I’m assuming he meant withOUT steroids]

      I don’t believe anyone can. I’d estimate that at most 80% of guys can achieve that. That’s most guys, but if you’re in that 20% you’ll be hella frustrated.

      Roughtly speaking take the amount of muscle you gained in the first year of training and you can expect to gain as much in all your years of training thereafter. Each subsequent year divide the number by 2.

      Example:
      year 1 – 15 lbs
      year 2 – 7.5 lbs
      year 3 -3.25 lbs
      year 4 – 1.75 lbs

      This is based on working as a personal trainer many moons ago. There are even those rare guys who hardly respond to exercise at all. And no it’s not necessarily because they aren’t making a hard enough.

      Now most guys can make a significant change in their physique, so definitely hit the gym. It’s good for your health too.

      As an aside when I my progress slowed to a crawl after a couple of years I was told to eat more. So I did. The result was that I just got fat and maybe gained 1 pound of muscle for every 7 pounds of fat. So beware.

    17. Hint, the guy they think they’re “nearly identical to” has 16 inch biceps at 5% bodyfat…

      And get this if you’re at 9% bodyfat ,you actually need 17-18 inch arms to match his size. That’s the part guys don’t get Coz when you get down to 5% you will lose 1-2 inches.

      So that’s how you get guys who have 12 inch biceps at 9% and think they’re “almost” like the guy with 16 inch biceps at 5% bodyfat.

      It’s almost like a barely millionaire saying “I’m almost a billionaire”.

    18. to bring this back to reality from a min-maxer perspetive:
      both the 9% BF guy and the millionaire are a top 0.1%er or even better, so this entire discussion is on a level completely detached from the real world.

      Not at all bashing the arguments or the people having the discussion. Just wanted to put this into context a bit.

    19. Here’s why it matters to the real world tho.

      It is possible to have the 12inch biceps at 9% bodyfat by lucking into it. Guys who are naturally of low appetite can do a few modest tweaks to their eating, do a little excercise and achieve it…

      Thereby getting into top 3%. Then they will claim this is all that everyone else needs to do get a top 0.1% physique.

      – I’m sorry but 12 inch biceps just doesn’t put you in top 0.1% neutral, and especially not in terms of sexual attraction which is the topic here.

  6. Most ESCORTS are so HOT while, most if not all UNPAID women are not. Since sane men only want hot women does it even make sense to go after a dwindling number of unpaid hot and interesting women provided that such women exist at all?

    I come across unpaid hot women occasionally. But it is very hard to engineer a situation to approach them. It is very difficult to come across unpaid hot women in larger concentrations outside of the clubs.

    What do you think?

    1. If the goal is just to have seks, it’s often better to just call an escort for most guys in the western world. Just consider time and money investment vs end result.

      If you make $100/h. And your escort costs 150/h. And you just want to have some fun with a girl for 2 hours. Any time/money investment greater than 3 hours worth of work would be a waste of time.

      How much time is needed to pick up a average girl? Time you have to invest in total. Money you have to spend.? And how hot is that girl you can pick up vs the escort? And what are the risks involved? Pick up just for seks doesnt make much sense for most guys. Unles you’re realy good at it and/or simply enjoy the game itself. It might be worth it if you like the hunt more than the girls. Or when you realy enjoy clublife.. But just for seks it’s mostly a waste of time.

  7. How do you guys feel about online IQ test? Do you think they have some merrit?

    I’ve always been curious about this. They always say that it’s only valid when done by a professional. But if you perform the exact same tests with a professional as without one, what could be the difference?

    1. If it’s the same test, under the same conditions, the results are obviously comparable. Psychometrics are big business, which explains the propaganda. I did a “real” IQ test during my adolescence, administered by a psychologist. However, a mindless drone could just have well told you that the time is up for the current section or that you now have to hand in your test sheet. It’s not as if that dude had designed the test. He merely proctors it.

    2. What would you advise if you wanted to get an Indication for yourself? I once did a Ravens Progressive Matrices online, but after completing the test, I had to pay to get the result lol.

      I don’t have the feeling the tests on the internet are complete tests. I also find that there’s an enormous difference in their difficulty.

      I might as well visit the local library.

    3. There are a lot of ways. One would be to look up the intelligence range required to succeed in your job. This may only provide a lower bound, though. Another is to look up percentile scores of standardized tests you may have taken, such as the SAT, GRE, or GMAT, which will give you a pretty good indication.

      On the other hand, probably the most straightforward way to do a proper IQ test would be to contact Mensa. They offer IQ tests to the public and if you score in the top 2%, you can become a member. However, it may be that they only provide you with a fail/pass result, so make sure you read the fine print before you pay for anything.

      Also, what do you expect to get out of it? You are probably at least at around 105+, if not a good bit higher. Yet, the higher your IQ, the less reliable those scores are anyway. Furthermore, nobody is going to give you a job just because you show them a paper that states that you have an IQ of 120+. Keep in mind that real life is an intelligence test as well, with the caveat that while a low IQ reliably predicts poor outcomes, a high IQ may not necessarily predict success. A very high IQ may very well turn out to be a liability in life.

    4. How could a high intelligence be a liability? Becoming paralyzed by overthinking and seeing the futility of everything? Unable to relate to the majority?

    5. What Alek Novy said. Also, the smarter you are the more easily you see through b.s. and manipulations. It is very easy to become a cynic if you are highly intelligent. On the other hand, there are no cynical idiots.

    6. How could a high intelligence be a liability? Becoming paralyzed by overthinking and seeing the futility of everything? Unable to relate to the majority?

      If you’re surrounded by lower IQ people (or merely average iq people) you will be consider an idiot and held back. Your entire life you will experience people either bullying you or ostracizing you for being different. You will many more obstacles placed in front of you… where the advantages of your IQ are wiped out by the additional obstacles placed.

      Also it takes a longer time to master more powerful machine (as it were). Higher IQ people mature later, and can have a shit youth… depending on whether they take it personally, or figure out the deal.

    7. “Also it takes a longer time to master more powerful machine”

      This.
      So true.

      According to multiple online IQ tests I’m in the 120 range.
      And frankly, while not superduper intelligent, I do think I outsmart the average folks by quite a margin.

      And my youth was partly shit because of that. I have a very kinda “smart” humour and I’ve always had it, but I didn’t know how to master it without comming across as an arrogant know-it-all/know-it-better.
      That was a painful process. Almost made me bitter. Now it’s more like I feel sorry for the average intelligence guy.

    8. Thanks for the reply Aaron and others.

      I would say the main reason would be insecurity. Right now I’m also considering switching to a different job and sometimes I wonder what job I would be qualified for. I also think I’m afraid of how I would perform on these assessments.

      We discussed this once during a coaching session, but a big part of my life I wasn’t very proactive due to a medical issue. Because of this I’ve never really managed to study hard.

      Although, I feel it’s mostly a mental issue, since after fixing that issue I’ve managed to turn my life around in a very positive manner. I’ve also noticed that colleagues and supervisors talk more positive about me than I do about myself.

      I will no longer bother you with my insecurities, it’s up to me to handle this part. Yet, I still want to thank you (and the others) for the contributions made in this thread.

  8. Question for the balding.

    I shaved my head when I started balding and never made an effort to hide anything. I feel more at ease this way. Don’t wanna see the disappointment on their face when they learn the truth :)))

    Some guys I know though wear a hat and they sure look better that way. But I wonder if it helps or hurts. Do you ever wear a hat when you first meet girls?

    The question can be generalized to this: Do you conceal unattractive qualities as much as possible and reveal them later when they’re (hopefully) sufficiently invested that it’s not a deal breaker?

    1. That’s chick thinking. Three dates in she suddenly has two kids. As a guy, I’d just own it. That’s easier said than done when it comes to balding. If you have an attractive skull shape, shaving would probably help a lot.

  9. Increasing numbers of single women are using IVF to become single mothers:

    https://inews.co.uk/news/health/single-women-same-sex-couples-ivf-fertility-treatment/

    What’s wrong with these women? They can’t get a decent partner so they decide to get pregnant from a sperm donor and be a single mother. If they want to get pregnant from some random dude why don’t they just have sex with some random dude rather than spending lots of money on artificial insemination? These women are actually paying money to become single mothers. Then afterwards they will complain about how hard it is and demand support I suppose.

    1. @Overdrive: {Why don’t they just have sex with some random dude rather than spending lots of money on artificial insemination?}

      Most of them are to old to have children the natural way. And to old to attract the men they want as a sperm donor. So they believe the lies the clinic tells them about the donor being brad pit with a 120 IQ. Because those are always the type of guys who donate sperm to make 30 bucks.

    2. …and then the kid comes out brown and with an IQ of 90. She could as well have tracked down the drug dealers she fucked for free coke back in the day. Too bad that Tyrone has moved on to younger women already. (I’m partly joking. From what I know, women getting donor sperm can pick the ethnicity.)

    3. @Aaron: (I’m partly joking. From what I know, women getting donor sperm can pick the ethnicity.)

      Yes. But it does hapen sometimes. And not just with single women using donor sperm. It also hapens with couples using IVF but without the wish for donor sperm. Sometimes they just mix up. And the baby being black is easy to see. More often it’s just another white dude’s sperm, because there isnt that much of a demand for black sperm. So the chance of that hapening is smaller. It also hapend that the doctor used his own sperm a couple times.

    4. My mom used to work at an IVF clinic. Once there was a mix up and the baby come out black. (It was a white couple) The story was published in the New York Times. I think this sort of thing is rare though.

  10. This is something I just realized, but it seems really obvious now that I think about it.

    All of these “blackpilled” people who whine about how they’re not attractive to women and that their lives are meaningless….all of them…..are complaining about how women don’t like them when they take ALL OF THE ADVANTAGES THEY CAN BUILD ARTIFICIALLY off the table, which could potentially greatly amplify the amazingness of their experiences in life, not just with women. I believe that handicapping yourself in this way is mentally insane, and that these people need to get their heads checked by a licensed psychiatrist.

    It’s like taking the history behind a Stradivarius violin away from it and selling it based on its sound. Even a Strad will lose out to some modern violins which are worth just a fraction of its cost IF YOU’RE JUST GOING BY SOUND. What makes them worth millions is the fact that Heifetz or Kreisler played on them. Their histories, their built up values act as 100X amplifiers of their real worths, if not more.

    1. Here’s a revolutionary concept….what if instead of dedicating so much time to complaining about how life is unfair….if they just spent that time trying to get good at something? I guarantee you even the most disadvantaged of them all, ESPECIALLY the most disadvantaged of them all, can dig out a reality that is far better than the one he is in now. In fact, it’s the delta that makes life worthwhile. It’s the artificial advantages that you build that make life so sweet and gratifying. It’s the amount of change for the better that you can enact in your own life, and not life’s absolute value in terms of quality.

      And actually, I think a majority of guys with natural advantages don’t have that fire underneath their ass that people who have chips on their shoulders do. I read this somewhere, and I agree 100%, that humanity has been helped in no small way by the compensations of disadvantaged men.

    2. This is most certainly true. A common expression is that it takes three generations to go from the penthouse to the poorhouse. I have met a few people from very well off families, due to studying at an elite university. Those were some of the most complacent people I ever met. Not all are like that, but there is certainly an argument to be made that a (relative) lack of money and status can be a powerful driving force.

    3. It’s a sad reality that in most (all?) areas of life the extremes are the most prominent.

      BlackPillers are just as full of bullshit as PUAs… and both of them are alternatives to the mainstream reality, which is also just as much bullshit.

      When a guy realizes the mainstream is bullshit and wants to find a sane alternative, odds are he will discover either pua or blackpill, but not an actual sane place like this blog (or Aaron’s books etc).

    4. i would not trust psychiatrist tho,
      what if some of those black pillars biology is just messed up and they cant compete or just low on drive and energy(i am low on those things all my life)
      or just respond very poorly to positive feedback and strongly to negative feedback(i do in fact all my life)?
      you end up naturally prioritizing avoidance then achievement but that is just me.

    5. @ Aaron: The one advantage that being rich confers on you is the lack of awareness of common hurdles other people face, which allows you to attempt things other people wouldn’t dare to. Poorer people always feel that the world is against them, and consequently have humbler goals. It’s sometimes hard to get them to see the bigger picture, and once they reach a certain level of success, they usually become satisfied and stop trying.

      @Alek: They both have grains of truth to them, but human nature is such that we tend to caricaturize everything. Pickup would’ve been fine if they stopped at telling guys to talk to more girls. Blackpill would’ve been helpful if they stopped right after telling guys they need to improve their looks and have realistic expectations. Now they’re both very detrimental for their audiences.

    6. I don’t disagree with you. However, there is a point where wealth can easily undermine your ambitions. As a data point, in the dorm I lived in there was a freshman who drove an Audi R8, which he got as a gift from his dad for his 18th birthday. Another dude I remember carried a pile of brand-name suites with him when he moved in. He’s now an assistant professor in law at an elite university. He’s certainly not what I’d call a loser, but I bet if he didn’t come from such a well-off background, he’d have gone into corporate law or any other sub-field where he could have made a killing.

  11. Hi Aaron,

    A lot of posts on this blog pertain to the peculiarities of (young) women. One that hasn’t gotten much attention is their obsession with travel. Although this obsession is not limited to (young) women, I have the feeling that women are far more interested in travel than men. For example, I have heard that it is not uncommon for Swedish girls to ask for vacations as birthday gifts from their parents at quite a young age (15+).

    I have been thinking about the reason for their interest in travel. Some readers might say that it is fueled by a desire to go on a fuck spree abroad, without the social repercussions that they would suffer at home. This explanation falls short however, as it is a minority of girls who truly fuck a lot abroad; mostly it is limited to 1-5 guys in the time span of a few months. Furthermore, their interest in travel does not diminish at all once they have found a boyfriend. On the contrary, an interest in travel is something they screen for when looking for a boyfriend.

    I believe travel is used as a status symbol and as a form of escapism, but other than that? Are there other factors at play? What are your thoughts on this topic?

    Disclaimer: I live in a metropolis and am mostly exposed to 20-30 year old women who are educated and often well off, so I might be extrapolating a peculiarity of this limited demographic.

    1. I thinks its a bit of both, but with status concerns greatly overriding the fuck factor.

      All those instagrams wont fill by themselves, you know….

    2. Having sex with 1-5 guys in a few months is “fucking around”. The average number of lifetime sexual partners is less than ten. Most girls want to pull a “sexy foreign guy” when they’re abroad, not have a week long gangbang.

    3. I had the same reaction as overdrive, like what do you mean she’s not fucking around, she only bangs 1-5 guys abroad? lol wtf?

      Does fucking around to you mean 50 guys in 2 weeks?

    4. Vacations are a status symbol. This is particularly true in the US as people don’t have many days off. Also, the US are quite homogenous, so traveling within the US does not give you the same kind of exposure as traveling around Europe, let alone Asia.

      Traveling is largely just consumption. A lot of those women don’t want to explore the museums of Paris, or the remnants of the Roman empire. Instead, they are eager to get dicked down. I met (European) women who boasted about shopping trips to NYC, where they bought brands they could just as well have gotten in Europe, but maybe not quite as easily. It’s all just a front. When a girl tells you she “loves to travel”, you should translate this as “I’m a huge slut.” (I travel infrequently as part of my job; it’s a drain more than anything.)

      I agree with the others that one to five guys in a few months is fucking around. If that is the number she tells you, feel free to multiply it by 3 or 4, at the very least, because she will have a near-endless list of reasons why a certain sexual encounter didn’t count: that one blowjob didn’t count because she didn’t swallow, getting fucked in the bathroom in some club didn’t count because she didn’t know the guy’s last name, her three-guys-in-one-weekend did not count because this was so out of the ordinary, and so on. You may think that I’m making this up, but I am not. You will find women who tell you the most ludicrous things: they have an argument with her boyfriend, go out and fuck a guy, then that didn’t count and didn’t constitute cheating because they were “temporarily broken up”. Some slut told me “it doesn’t really count” if she takes off her wedding ring before fucking some random dude while her husband is on a business trip.

      If she “screens” guys based on their willingness to travel, it’s simply about money and those guys’ willingness to spend money on them.

    5. @Anton: Swedish girls traveling are some of the worst. We would have a yearly international sports event for teens close to home. It was like being on a all you can eat buffet. Swedish girls were our main target. They are often beautiful and easy to conquer. They are not used to assertive guys. It’s like taking candy from a baby.

    6. On top, those girls tend to be quite proactive, as their guys are so timid, so you can end up getting them extremely quickly.

    7. – Aleknovy and overdrive: I suppose I having sex with multiple partners abroad has become normalized in my mind, after hearing so many stories. The exact threshold for calling it slutty is arbitrary and depends on many variables in my opinion . But in general, more than 1 seems a bit much now that I think of it 😉
      – Aaron: I agree that travel (especially short trips involving flying (across time zones)) is draining. Screening is also simply checking for compatibility. There are many couples that enjoy traveling together, who split the bill. It’s just that I find that hard to relate to and brought this up to gain some insight 🙂 I’ll leave it at a combination of all reasons discussed.

    8. “Splitting the bill” almost invariably means that you pay more. The less she makes, the more you will pay. Quite frequently, the man bears virtually all the cost while she may buy you a coffee on the airport, or something alone those lines.

  12. Aaron, you mentioned on several occasions that quality of life deteriorated in Germany after the immigrant wave. What are your thoughts on Ministry of Interior statistics claiming crime levels are actually at lowest in decades?

    1. Can you read German? If not, use Google Translate for this:
      https://www.epochtimes.de/politik/deutschland/polizei-statistik-2018-zuwanderer-bei-schweren-gewaltdelikten-deutlich-ueberrepraesentiert-a2844166.html
      Also, you have to keep in mind that the police doesn’t even process large volumes of crime anymore, such as pickpocketing or robbery. Then there is the problem of quasi-legalization, i.e. obvious crimes that are no longer prosecuted, such as drug dealing.

    1. This one was pretty baffling. Well, it never is the woman’s fault, even if all her eggs have dried up. Too bad that nature can’t be shamed into submission.

  13. Apparently, China is colonizing Africa now:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlAb-Gfeoyk

    I’m really concerned about the environmental implications of China becoming the world superpower. They really don’t give a fuck about the environment in the slightest.

    Word on the street is that they’re buying up ports in a multitude of other countries, and beginning a “neo-colonization” effort across the globe.

    In South America, they’re attempting to build a Nicaraguan Canal which will cut straight through Lake Nicaragua, the main freshwater source in the area that supplies countless of their people with fresh drinking water:

    https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/new-canal-through-central-america-could-have-devastating-consequences-180953394/

    1. As a Nicaraguan myself, I completely agree with you. I mean, with all their problems, I prefer the American Empire (the only one that exists for leftists) than the Russian or Chinese empires. Putin’s a giant hypocrite who talks big about opposition to the New World Order but every move he makes is focused on making a NWO centered on Russian (or rather his) interests. As for China, the Canal project has collapsed in the midst of the protests against the Ortega regime, but anyway, what we’ve seen about Chinese influence hasn’t contributed at all to dispel their reputation as dog-eating polluting savages (no offense to Sleazy’s Gal).

      I look forward to reading Aaron’s detailed take on China, that would contribute to a fuller picture.

    2. In defense of the Chinese, I think it’s an education problem. You have to understand how badly Mao messed up their people. In what seems to be one of history’s most ironic appellations, Mao’s “Great Leap Forward” killed 30-40 million, and caused entire generations of Chinese to lose like 2-3 inches off their average height. Faced with crippling poverty and destitution, there truly was no other plight like that of the Chinese. This was ~60 years ago.

      Now imagine a debilitated populace with an entrenched scarcity mindset quickly coming out of that harsh environment, with a sizable minority essentially becoming rich overnight. Of course they’re not going to have the most refined manners and care about the consequences of their actions, while now suddenly having the ability to showcase their uncouthness on a global scale.

      If you’re interested in a well-rounded, highly informed view of China, check out serpentZA:
      https://www.youtube.com/user/serpentza/videos

      He’s been spending the past decade of his life (if not more) documenting his time there.

  14. Aaron and Alex,
    1. What are your thoughts about flirting when picking up girls via cold appraoch and social circle?
    2. How important is flirting with women if one is seeking casual encounters vs long term relationships when first picking up women?
    3. What’s with the idea that women say flirting is creepy? Is this related to an age issue where there is a huge age gap between both parites? Would there be a difference between a woman saying its creepy when a guy is flirting via cold approach vs social circle?

    4. Is flirting the same as sexualizing? Or they they both intertwine? What wouls be the importance of flirting, sexualizing, and physically escalationing if one is seeking casual encounters vs long term relationships.
    Any feed back would be greatly appreciated.

    1. Re 2.:
      If you read Aaron’s books he claims that hot guys meeting women in a club environment can have a “casual encounter” with saying very little.
      I personally have experienced this only once.
      With long term relationships (in my experience) the women want to talk and hang out and do stuff for a good while before spreading their legs. They want to appear as faithful partners, not loose sluts who will give your baby herpes.

      Re: 3.:
      Guy hitting on her is ugly OR she is not in the mood = creepy, patriarchal micro-aggression, #metoo
      Guy hitting on her is hot AND she is in the mood = romantic, sexy, exciting

    2. Have you seen guys hooking up quickly? If not, then you should pay closer attention because it is not the case that this phenomenon does not exist or is rare just because it is rare for you.

    3. “Creepy” is when you jump too many levels of intimacy. Read this and it will help with the clarity:

      http://blog.aaronsleazy.com/index.php/2017/01/01/the-open-thread-january-2017/#comment-1192

      How many levels is “too many”? Depends on…

      – the context
      – your looks
      – your charm/social skills (some call it “game”)

      So if you’re an average looking guy who has a deadpan serial killer expression on your face…

      -and approach a chick in the street and initiate a convo while you stand at a friendly distance to her (level 3 interaction)…

      … that’s you “jumping too many levels”. The “not jumping too many levels” thing would be to start interaction at a bigger more formal distance and only increase level as she warms up to it.

      – Whereas if you meet her in social circle, then it’s acceptable to start at straight from level 3… not creepy

      – A good looking guy could start an interaction at level 3 even in a cold text and not be considered to be jumping too many steps.
      – A guy with a very friendly/charming demeanor could get away with doing it in cold context as well.

  15. Thank you Alex,
    I apologize for the random ramble about flirting. What I was trying to inquire is the following.
    How important is flirting and sexualising if one is seeking casual encounters vs long term relationships? Is there a difference between the two or are they the same? Is flirting/sexualising more important than physical escalation or are they both equally important in moving the interaction in a sexual/romantic direction?

    1. Dude. Why so complicated?
      You must always physically escalate.
      It’s not your style of approach that makes her relationship material or not.

      Your style of driving doesn’t turn a Toyota into a Lamborghini either.

      She might be a slut, she might be the conservative woman to marry. Without physical escalation you won’t ever find out. Her reaction to your escalation is what determines the outcome.

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