One of my readers recently raised the question of whether it is unethical to pick up (easy) women, or whether it is even your duty. He referred to a statement I once made, namely that if you don’t pick them up and fuck them, then someone else likely will. The reasoning is simply that seduction is mutual. If it is not the case that both of you want to, you are not going to get your dick wet, and she is not going to get her pussy stuffed. This is one of the key premises of my book Minimal Game.
There certainly is an ethical dimension to picking up women. Let’s go through a few scenarios I have thought about over the years.
1) Using Women for Sex
To be perfectly clear, I am now talking about the kind of woman who is commonly referred to as a “slut” or, more eloquently, “women of easy virtue”. Some people would argue that if you only pump and dump such a chick, you are a bad person. To be quite frank, plenty of women have no clue about how to start a relationship. They think they only need to fuck a guy and if he does not stick around, then he is an asshole. My interpretation is a bit different. In the case where she really only wants to have sex, there is no issue at all with you just using her for sex. This also applies if she, which happens frequently, thinks that you would be a great boyfriend or at the very least a fabulous fuck buddy because you gave it to her so well. Once she knows that you have a huge cock, she wants more of it. I consider this an involuntary bait-and-switch on her behalf. This is not your problem in any way because you certainly did not dangle a relationship in front of her, but only your hard cock, which she happily deep-throated.
The second case in this scenario is where she proclaims that she only wants to have sex if she eventually gets a relationship out of it. Now you may ask yourself if this is really slut-like. However, sluts aren’t sluts all the time. They may very well think that they keep fucking random guys until their Chad comes along. Heck, a few of my fuck buddies said variations of, “I’m only fucking you until my next boyfriend comes around.” or “Guys like you are strictly for fun, not for anything serious.” Yet, I have little doubt that if I had exhibited proper provider qualities back then, they would have tried to get me to commit. To them, the guy is supposed to commit to her if she wants it. She essentially wants to keep the option open. Of course, you do not play along with it if that happens.
Turning such a woman down can lead to some nasty scenes. (Pulling your phone out and filming them has an almost magical ability to correct their behavior instantly.) It is squarely her fault that she thought she could trick you and you did not fall for it. Plenty of guys who hardly ever get laid, on the other hand, get locked into a relationship after one night of mediocre sex. That guy isn’t you because you’ve had plenty of sexual experience and know better.
2) The Relationship Bait
This is more of a theoretical case, in my opinion. Strangely enough, I have had a few clients over the years who asked me about this very issue. For instance, one guy had this idea in his head that he could use his provider status to get sex. This is not a particularly good idea because if you do not get her wet, you won’t get much sex. It will be nothing but a chore for her. Meanwhile, she will bleed you dry, financially speaking, making even high-class escorts look like a steal in comparison. A particularly sad case was a guy who thought he could woo a girl by inviting her on an expensive vacation. They did not even end up having sex and he suspects that she banged at least one guy on the side as she insisted on “alone time”. Guys in this category only set themselves up to be exploited.
A related issue, however, is that some women tell you that if you agreed to be their boyfriend or at the very least tried dating them, they would eventually have sex with you. This is awfully close to the previous example. However, I did meet women who told me that I am coming on way too strong. They then tried to deescalate the situation by putting me on a “dating track”. Yeah, that made me chuckle, too. Those women wanted a relationship more than they wanted sex. Sure, you can play that game, but she will make sure that you invest so much that a quick pump-and-dump would not be worth it as no sane guy would invest dozens of hours into some chick without any payoff.
3) Stringing Women Along
While there is the popular mythology that some women are so sex-crazed that they happily agree to be your fuck buddy, the reality is that a lot of fuck buddies hope that you will see the light and make them your girlfriend. After about two or three weeks, they may want to know “what we are” or where you “think this is going”. You shrug it off and keep banging her. As you are non-committal, the fault is with her as she thought she could can turn you around. Your communication is clear: you only want to have sex with her. Eventually, those women will realize that this is indeed all they are ever going to get from you and then they will move on.
Thus, with open communication, the issue is only hers. You are the guy who only wants to have fun. If she arrogantly believes that her magic pussy will convert you, but it does not work on you, she is hardly justified in claiming that you strung her along. Remember what I wrote above about seduction being mutual? It’s the same in this case. If anything, it is women who string men along. Just think of all the guys stuck in the “friend zone”. Those are the guys who line up to date her. There is not even equivalent with the sexes flipped.
If you commit to a woman, you should take it seriously and don’t fuck other chicks behind her back. That being said, a very good argument can be made that a man cheating on a woman, say by fucking a hooker or even some side chick he is only using for sex, is a lot less severe than the woman cheating on her man. The reason is that as a guy you can simply fuck a chick and don’t feel anything at all. You use her for sex, blow your load, and forget she ever existed. On the other hand, the emotional
That a side chick is not much of an issue is, amusingly enough, ingrained in some cultures. For instance, I recently learned that in some parts of China, the wife of a powerful man understands that he may want to just fuck other women. It’s just not talked about and it does not undermine his commitment to her. However, if such a side chick should try to break up that marriage, she may get teared and feathered. Apparently, it is not uncommon that a gaggle of women, all friends of the wife, would descend on her, beat her up, tear off her clothes, and shave her head. I should check out Live Leaks for some videos one of these days.
But let’s go back to the previous example of you fucking some club whore really, really well. The more amusing stories I could tell you in that regard include women who asked
This leads to the other side of the coin: enabling women to cheat on their partner. Mainstream opinion has it that the guy a woman is cheating with is a complete asshole, while the woman’s partner is obviously a loser who can’t satisfy her in the bedroom. In reality, she makes an active decision to cheat on her boyfriend or husband. Women, however, love to have no responsibility. Suddenly, they were swept off their feet, and things “just happened”. Their husband supposedly drove her into the arms of another man. Man, the extent of bullshit excuses people make for the inexcusable behavior of women is beyond belief. In my experience, it is rare that women tell you upfront that they have a boyfriend or husband when they want to have sex with you. Some may drop hints later. Others even talk crap behind their partners after they have had sex with you, comparing him to you and, of course, you are so much better in bed and whatnot.
I consider women who cheat on their partner complete pieces of shit. That does not mean that you should not fuck them if you get the chance. However, do not tell yourself that you did something wrong. If her wedding ring or engagement ring just happened to disappear in her handbag when she got ready for the club, how would you know that she is attached? In most cases, though, cheaters will leave you in the dark. For instance, the few married women I fucked never told me they were married. I only found out later, sometimes accidentally, via social media. (As a safety precaution, I’d say that once you learn that some chick has a boyfriend or husband, it’s probably better if you stay away from her because her partner may not view the situation as rationally as you and come trying to kick your ass.)
5) Damaged women
The last issue is related to several of the above. The big issue with “women’s liberation” is that we have now had multiple generations of women who have grown up in broken homes. They have daddy issues. Their mother is banging random dudes. Due to her father being absent, they enter puberty sooner (look it up, this is
Those women seem to want sex also in order to get validation. They like the idea of getting a top-shelf guy like you off as much as they like the physical stimulation of sex. You know that those chicks are a bit messed up. Is it your problem? No, it is not. This leads to the opening paragraph of this article, namely that those women are simply waiting to get picked up. If you don’t take them, someone else will, or will at least try. Thus, a more precise statement is that if you do not pick them up, then there is someone else who could have.
To conclude, I think that many of the supposed ethical problems in
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