Dating

Men not Wanting to Marry or even Date: Anecdotes from Singapore

When I had dinner with a friend of mine in Singapore, I dropped that I was intending to get married once more. He is married himself, but because very few of his friends are, he could not contain his bewilderment. The first thing he mentioned was that those friends of his “don’t think women are worth the hassle.” That was quite the statement. What I like a lot about the guys I met in Singapore, but also on my recent trip to Beijing, is how outspoken they are. I have not been able to speak as freely anywhere in Europe as I have on my trips to Asia this year.

We explored the topic of Singaporean men not wanting to get married, or even date, a bit further. Of course, for all the NPCs I have to point out that we are talking about a high-achieving guy with friends who all make a decent amount of money. Based on their financial status, they would be seen as desirable based on their education and resources. Yet, they do not want to bother with women. The reasons I heard were not new, but there was an interesting Singaporean twist to it.

First, the biggest complaint his friends have is that women are an enormous time sink. They see this as a bigger issue than the monetary expenses that come with having a relationship, let alone a family. Sure, if you like to tinker with electronics or put 14-hours a day into your startup, a woman at home who wants to be entertained in the evening and thinks that you spend too much time away from her will make your life a lot more difficult. You can most certainly forget about that startup of yours you want to get off the ground.

He also mentioned the “wedding culture” as a big deterrent. I have heard plenty of horror stories from the US, but those are by no means the exception. In Singapore it is apparently not at all uncommon to blow tens of thousands of Singapore dollars on a wedding. We are talking about a year of your post-tax income. If you take into account that you have to take care of the cost of living, we are probably talking about two years’ worth of savings wasted on a few hours. Of course, the more you make, the more your princess will want to blow. If that is your only option, I’d say keep the money and do not bother. This applies to you no matter how much you make. On that note, if a woman tells you that you should spend “three salaries” on her wedding ring, tell her to take a hike. The stupidity, paired with the sense of entitlement in some women, is breathtaking.

While I have been enjoying the company of a loving young woman, it seems that the stereotypical Singaporean woman is anything but. They were described to me as “combative” and “calculating”. Probably all women are calculating. (I do not want to exclude my girlfriend. If I was broke, her interest in me would arguably be zero.) The question is not whether they are calculating, but how obvious they are about it. Some women even want to systematically bleed you dry, in Asia just like in the West. You have probably heard women start a sentence with, “We should…”, which meant that you should open your wallet.

What may harm Singaporean women the most is that they have a reputation for not wanting to have sex — at all. I occasionally catch women looking at me over there, so I’m not sure how generally true that is. It may have to do with the local men often looking a bit androgynous, which is particularly true of young men. Thus, I would not be surprised if there was a significant minority of women who view sex as something to only get over and done with, similar to household chores. Of course, we all know how eager women are to do those. Heck, there are even couples that do not even have sex. A particularly cucked friend of my girlfriend, for instance, is in a committed relationship with a woman who flat-out refuses to sleep with him. Another one had a girlfriend who never wanted to have sex, but on her semester abroad in the United States, she somehow quickly fell on Chad’s cock. Funny how that works.

I also found it noteworthy when another Singaporean friend of mine said that he does not want to date Singaporean women at all, and that is after having dated a few. He does not want to have relationships either. He is, in my opinion, very high-status. He’s would be very buff for a white guy. For Singaporean standards, he is somewhere at the level of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in terms of how buff he is compared to the average, which is why he is able to have casual relationships and hookups with foreign women.

The calculating attitude of Singaporean women seems to also find an expression in their view on children. It is very common that their kid — the average number of kids among Singaporean-Chinese women is less than 1 — will be raised by a maid. Those are third-world women from the Philippines. Now imagine you have a decent job and your idea of a happy marriage and relationship is having a wife who cares about you and your kid. If that is the case, I can readily see why having a woman at home who tells you what to do with your time and money, and on top dumps your kid into the lap of some third-world woman, which means that it may take on her English accent, is such an unattractive proposition.

Upon doing further research on the topic of Singaporean men and their dating choices, I learned that the men simply face the same problem as in the West, probably an even bigger one. If you do very well for yourself, such as the guys I alluded to much earlier, you will have dating options. However, if that is not the case, our dating options will be quite limited. This has led to the phenomenon that Singaporean men go abroad to find women. This normally means prowling the nearby third-world countries. However, the government does not like that very much as they are very reluctant to issue visas to citizens of non-developed countries. As a consequence, those men would have to leave Singapore to be together with their third-world spouses. I view this as an expression of gynocentrism because those regulations affect almost exclusively men. After all, due to hypergamy, Singaporean women would marry down if they took a husband from a third-world country, and that normally is not going to happen.

Thus, the MGTOW spirit seems to be alive in Singapore. While in the West, women perceive 80% of men to be below average. That number could very well be higher in Singapore, based on how incredibly picky I perceive Singaporean women to be. You will easily find women with little to show for, neither in terms of looks nor in personality, who are holding out for their Prince Charming who has to be loaded. A difference between the West, though, is that casual hook-ups are frowned upon, which means that they are on the way to becoming virgin cat ladies.


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8 thoughts on “Men not Wanting to Marry or even Date: Anecdotes from Singapore

  1. I think it’s a benefit if a woman requests that you spend a year or two’s worth of income on a wedding. It tells you that you’re about to make a mistake before you actually get married.

  2. “What may harm Singaporean women the most is that they have a reputation for not wanting to have sex — at all.”

    Funny that you mention that. I got from my old university in Germany an email for an International night with great food and talking. Never paid attention to stuff like that while i was studying, so i thought why not now since im working? Even though I am more than ten years older than most students nowadays, based on my looks i could still be 26/27: slightly taller than average, ripped, blond hair and blue eyes. Something thats unusual in asia and instant turn on – i thought.
    I thought i will just talk to the best looking girls, so i did and could only find three: one girl from taiwan, one from china and one from south korea. I talked to them, they were all on and we changed numbers for some tea later.
    -The taiwan girl responded once, but then blocked me.
    – The girl from China hasnt responed, i bumped in her at the gym and she told me she lost her phone, got a new one and told me her new number.
    – The weirdest encounted was with the girl from Korea. I wrote the first time and she ignored it. A few days later i wrote the 2nd time to get some tea and she responded “Sorry but i feel quite unpleasant for your suggestion. I think you have yellow fever so…bye” and blocked me . Didnt know what she meant by “yellow fever” as i dont live in the tropics, but by searching “yellow fever asia” i realized what she meant. 😀

    I liked how she wrote “feel quite unpleasant” like its an odd feeling if a guy likes her and wants to get some tea with her, because she’s not used to do that or to insecure for it – although she was 22.

    1. I had sex with a Korean chick many years ago. She seemed to not want to allow herself to come, despite just shortly before orgasm and being wet as can be.
      Could’ve been an outlier but friends have reported similar. As if they feel ashamed to let go and bust a nut (or whatever the correct female wording of the expression is).

    2. In my experience Asian women are a bit more shy in the beginning than your average Western woman. After a few times being with them they are oke with letting themselves go. It’s just not part of the culture to be (sexually liberated). But when they are feeling save, protected, and loved. No problems going wild. They love it just as much as any other woman. And taboo things are often only more exciting. Never been with a korean girl yet. But this holding back stuff didn’t last long with those other Asian girls.

    3. Daniel,

      I don’t think she meant that she felt unpleasant about the invitation to tea, but because she thought you had “yellow fever.” I don’t think where she got that idea from, but it would be good to try to figure that out and change the behavior.

      Many Asian women are freaked out if they think a guy has yellow fever – even if they themselves only ever date white guys and have a much worse case of “white fever.” Go figure. 🙂

    4. “to try to figure that out and change the behavior.”

      I’m blocked on whatsapp and she lives 2 hours away. Why should i change my behaviour, if what i wrote and behaved works on every other girl, but not on her?!
      I think and based on my experience, i know her bahaviour has nothing to do with me. Its her! She’s immature and afraid of guys who like her. Why should i try to get a girl like that?

  3. ” Thus, I would not be surprised if there was a significant minority of women who view sex as something to only get over and done with, similar to household chores. Of course, we all know how eager women are to do those. Heck, there are even couples that do not even have sex. A particularly cucked friend of my girlfriend, for instance, is in a committed relationship with a woman who flat-out refuses to sleep with him.”

    “The calculating attitude of Singaporean women seems to also find an expression in their view on children. It is very common that their kid — the average number of kids among Singaporean-Chinese women is less than 1 — will be raised by a maid. Those are third-world women from the Philippines.”

    “This has led to the phenomenon that Singaporean men go abroad to find women. This normally means prowling the nearby third-world countries.”

    If the singapore women want to outsource the family stuff to a philippina and refuse to have sex, it’s a fun plot twist that the men just replace the “wife” with a real wife from the philippines who will actually have sex.

  4. I also experienced singaporian women as being very demanding. We had a female singaporian / malaysian exchange student at my university in Bremen and she was extremly focused on status (Apple, Apparel, Starbucks, money, money, money…). Seems to me that this is a general trait in eastern-Asien countries.

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