The male vs female perspective on wanting to have children

When I think of my bros, I get the impression that none of them ever wanted to have children. Those of them who do, however, all accidentally impregnated their girlfriends or fuck buddies, who were then able to upgrade their relationship to marriage. In the underclass, that kind of behavior may be unusual. Their women seem to just pump out another kid, happily spend child benefits on booze and drugs, and prowl the hood for the next loser to knock them up. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Alas, in civilized society, that is not how things work. Normally, guys who get a girl pregnant end up marrying her. That’s certainly the norm in the conservative area I grew up in.

Looking back at my occasional encounters with the fair sex, though, I have the impression that the wish to get pregnant seems to be an absolute. Instead of wanting to have a child with you, they first and foremost want to have a child, and then they look for a guy. Otherwise I couldn’t explain why women don’t insist on protection. It may be a typically Western approach, though, because many of those women have the twisted idea that the sole way to get a guy to commit is by spreading their legs. Consequently, they may also believe that the sole way to get a guy to marry them is by tricking them into getting them pregnant.

At this point we arrive at what might seem to be a chicken-or-egg problem, though. However, considering how incredibly slutty Western women are, I am tempted to believe that they first and foremost want to have sex. With whom to have sex with is almost a distant afterthought. Almost anyone will do. In the worst case, they just hop to the next cock on the carousel. Of course, very few women can play the game like that, but it is quite obvious that entering a sexual relationship, and may it only last for a few hours, is something that many Western women casually do. The number of dicks your typical Western whore has had in her mouth may well exceed the number of people she formally introduced herself to.

Let’s think ahead for our Western whore! She won’t do it herself, so it’s better if we red-headed alpha bros do it. She’s gotten her fair share of dicks in the form of one-night stands. Some of her relationships even lasted a few weeks, but now that she’s entering her mid-to-late 20s, she starts to panic. Guys still don’t want to commit to her (why would they?), and it seems she’s running out of options. Now the biological clock starts ticking loudly. What is she supposed to do? Just like she used to chase after sex, and viewed guys as a means to an end, she now wants to have a baby. In the latter case, she likewise views guys as a means to an end. First she wants to have a baby, then she starts looking for a guy.

As I am not a woman, I am only speculating, but that interpretation seems to make a lot of sense to me. In contrast, though, I think guys approach sex differently. It’s not the case that Chad has the unspecific wish to have sex. Instead, he wants to have sex if he bumps into a chick that turns him on. Thus, he goes from finding a suitable woman to wanting to have sex with her. It’s largely defined by the environment whether Chad wants to have sex or not. If he needs to buckle down because he has an exam in Marketing Principles 101 coming up, and holes himself up in his room, then he likely doesn’t incessantly think of sex. However, should his buddy Brad knock on his door, with two drunk chicks in tow who are starving for dick, then his focus may quickly change. Thus, your environment plays a significant role whether you will actively pursue women. This is the reason why Brad hits on chicks in slutty clothes in the club, but doesn’t pester passers-by in the mall. Well, maybe he does that in Miami, where chicks walk around in bikinis. In the cold climes of Northern Europe he likely wouldn’t.

A few years and countless sluts later, Brad is in his 30s and may want to settle down. Let’s say he’s lucky and there were no unwanted pregnancies. At one point, though, he may consider having a family. In that scenario, though, I claim that the child wish is the consequence of finding a suitable mate first. That was certainly my experience. The thought of having children with any of the women I dated at some point in my life used to give me the chills. I may have entertained the thought briefly with one or the other, but after a few hours sanity was restored and I thought of what disastrous mothers those women would be. Do you want a Western whore to be the mother of your children? Thought so.

In my case, my outlook on the question whether to have children completely changed after meeting a woman I get along with incredibly well, and that is quite an understatement to begin with. It is unbelievable how warm and pleasant her personality is. (I’ll refrain from waxing lyrical about all her other qualities.) I got the impression that she would make an excellent mother, and from there it didn’t take long until I thought that it would be wonderful to have children with her. Before meeting her, the thought of having children wasn’t ever seriously on my mind.

I’m curious how you guys view that issue. I know some people where children were actively planned. That’s still fairly common back home in Conservative County, even though there are the occasional stories of girls who “accidentally” get pregnant, leading to a sometimes rather unexpected marriage. Particularly my bros, though, seem to be at a high risk of getting trapped. However, those observations are largely based on my time in Berlin, Germany, which is a very “progressive” city where single moms abound. Probably a lot of the young and young-ish women are so brainwashed that they would be offended if their boyfriend suggested marriage because getting kids out of wedlock is seen as “normal” there.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments below, but keep the comment policy in mind.
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28 thoughts on “The male vs female perspective on wanting to have children

  1. I’m almost 30 and am very thankful I haven’t knocked up anybody at this point. If I could go back, I’d not dare impregnate any of the girls I was involved with. How awful would it be to bonded to someone you know you are just banging out for the pleasure of it, when they become more insufferable as they grow more complacent and lazy. On that note, it’s as if it’s okay for women in the United States to make mistakes in a relationship, play games, and exhibit shitty behavior, but as a man, the slightest incongruence of your implied eternal Disney fairytale love for your perfect little princess is met with unforgivable wrath.

    I once had a girlfriend cancel a date because of ‘feeling bad’ (period pain) through a text, ignore my reply of ‘no worries, get better soon’ (which was fine), but then turn around a few days later and have a nervous breakdown because I never sent a second text.

    Another time, I was in limbo with a girl who would still come over from time to time to have sex and rekindle the relationship. It was her idea to breakup in the first place, but I just focused on studies and exercise until she came back around. It was so crazy how this happened and totally caught me by surprise, but literally the very next day after having my first anal session with this girl, an acquaintance showed me her new Facebook relationship status after she had just became official with some poor sap. I would have never expected this kind of slutty behavior from women until that day.

    Personally, I don’t want kids for these reasons: 1. Financial 2. Societal (child brainwashing mechanisms) 3. Lack of access to quality mother material 4. Responsibilty and loss of freedom 5. Backlash against fathers for not living up to ridiculous standards

    MGTOW, I guess.

    I just accept it.

  2. I don’t understand why you have to marry a bitch if she has your child accidentally.

    Pay child Support which is cheaper than marriage. If you are the low income partner, that won’t be much of a problem either.

    1. We are talking about cultural norms. In your third-world home country, the father of the girl would probably have you lynched if you knocked up her daughter but didn’t marry her.

    2. I am sure its not possible for some random guy to get within lynching distance from me. Don’t ask me why.

    3. I get it. You probably have your own private army, which you finance with the millions you make, amirite?

    4. The more you share about yourself Don, the more I think there’s something wrong with you.

  3. Southern US girls tend be more conservative than their Yankee counterparts. Most Southern girls still tend to be marriage material. Pro-family values still dominate the states below the Mason-Dixon line, not to mention Southern women are a lot nicer compared to their northern counterparts. However, those girls tend to get married and have kids earlier.

    1. There is absolutely nothing wrong for marriage-material women to settle down and have kids early in their life. It’s a much better outcome for the children, too. Just look up birth defects and how they correlate with increasing age of the mother.

  4. “Before meeting her, the thought of having children wasn’t ever seriously on my mind. I’m curious how you guys view that issue.”

    So for you the line is: meet the right one first and then you started thinking that kids WITH HER are an option.
    To me it is different. I started “actually liking children” about 1-2 years ago. Before they were just “something” to me that was ehm… dumb. And something that gave the respective parents an excuse to behave in an arrogant way about pretty much everything.
    So, the second thing hasn’t changed much and I still don’t tolerate if a fresh mum/dad think now that they have kids, they have a say on pretty much everything in the world because “I, as a parent….”.
    But kids a s such I find cute nowadays. I want kids, but not at any price. If I don’t meet the right partner, by a certain age, then I’ll just get two dogs.
    Know what you want, but know upfront the price you want to pay.

  5. I guess the only hope for a stable civilization would be both the artificial womb and the right of men to be single fathers.

    the artificial womb is already on the horizon. fathers rights, however, are swirling the drain.

  6. @Neutralrandomthoughts
    States: Tennessee, Arkansas, Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, South Carolina, North Carolina, Georgia, and Kentucky.

    1. Thx Nick.
      I’m flirting with immigration to the US and might have try with my current company in De Moines. Any inputs about Iowa?

  7. Speaking as a man who has no desire to have children even if I find the true love of my life (I’ve been told many times that my mind will change,but I just can’t imagine it ever happening. there are so many things/hobbies I want to try and get into,so many places I wish to visit someday. I’d rather live the hedonistic lifestyle than be a family man.)
    I firmly believe that you should only have children if:
    1.You are more than financially well-off enough to raise them (I have seen way too many kids who suffer and have miserable lives because of poor parents. Just recently my sister met a small girl who has to walk MILES to go to school and back home. Parents like these are the height of irresponsibility.)

    2. You know with ABSOLUTE certainty that you want them. If you have a “maybe or meh” attitude towards having them,then you are better off not having them. Here is a collection of stories from people who regret the decision to have children:
    https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/regret

    One story that caught my attention in particular is this:
    http://archive.is/gGhTs
    Why? Because this is a man who spent his youth and entire 20’s living the hedonistic lifestyle,and he did indeed manage to find the love of his life. In his 30’s,he decided to have kids because of a “meh” suggestion from his wife and the false belief that somehow choosing to be child free is “morally wrong” (Its not).
    The decision utterly destroyed their lives,and his wife,who started out as his ideal woman,changed for the worse (Being forced into a stressful lifestyle you don’t desire will do that to you)

    3. Get parenting training from a reliable source before you impregnate your wife. You don’t want to end up as one of those so many incompetent parents with spoiled,unruly,and disobedient children who make their lives a living hell. Actually,I recommend listening to this comedy speaker,who shares his experience meeting a spoiled white kid who has absolutely no respect for his mom. its hilarious!:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwbc_v1xBAU

    Just my 3 cents. while I don’t think I will personally need them as I really do have no desire for children,I will definitely keep those 3 in mind if I ever do feel the desire and I meet the right woman. I’m just curious Aaron,but do you already have children or have already impregnated your wife?

    1. I divorced my wife earlier this year. I don’t want to go into details right now, but suffice to say that I neither pay child support nor alimony, so I got out unscathed. (No, to the best of my knowledge, I have not yet fathered any children.)

    2. Well,I was quite surprised as well. I’m glad you made it out of that with your lifestyle completely intact. Last thing we want is for you to end up as that guy in the story I linked to (and forced to resort to the same shit PUA’s do to make money…meaning no more clean information in your future books. we’d all HATE that,lol)

      Regardless,whether you choose to go the childfree way for the rest of your life or have a family one day,we hope to never see any degradation in the quality of your work. Can’t wait for your book on Meditation!

    3. Damn, quite a bomb indeed. Do you plan to share any insights about this in future posts?

      Several commenters have pointed out that your more recent posting history comes off somewhat more bitter than your earlier stuff, and as a longtime reader I agree, to an extent. I dont want to read too much into it, but would you say there is a connection to your relationship/marriage status? Have some of your views changed as a result?

      I understand this involves deeply personal matters, so if you choose not to reply or not to publish this comment, I will not be offended.

    4. You may be surprised, but I’m exceedingly happy. That may not be reflected in my writing, which is due to the fact that I’ve grown to detest the West. I may write about my marriage and divorce at some point in the future, yes.

  8. @Neutralrandomthoughts

    Iowa is a mostly boring state, although Des Moines has a decent amount of things to do and is not too far of a drive to the Omaha, Nebraska/Council Bluffs, Iowa metro area.

    1. Thinking about it, you didn’t say you were married but that your girl was highly intelligent at that time.

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