Sluts vs. regular women with a high sex-drive

While going through my notes, I came across yet another comment that was left on my blog years ago, by a reader named Martin L.

I have an idea for a blog post I’d love to see you do in the near future–how to distinguish women that genuinely, for biological reasons, have a high libido from simple garden-variety sluts. Don’t know if that interests you or not, but if it does, I’m sure you will have some choice things to say about it. Thank you.
Martin L.

I found this rather interesting. The most important insight is that there is a big difference between having a high sex drive and a high partner count. If someone, regardless of whether we’re talking about a guy or a girl, wants to have lots and lots of sex, then the obvious choice is not to look for a large number of sexual partners.

For young women it’s easier to find one-night stands. They only have to show up and someone will approach them. However, the question is whether they want to have sex with that particular person. In fact, women who jump from one cock to another don’t necessarily want to have a lot of sex. They are much more concerned about validation, regardless of how cheap they may feel afterwards. With guys it’s the same. I’d say that it’s worse because guys have to make more of an effort compared to women in their prime. Even if you’re attractive and popular with the ladies you’ll it may take quite some time to go from “hello!” to sex.

Another problem is that non-committal sex isn’t necessary particularly good. You’ll probably have the best sex of your life with a long-term partner. Also, unlike those people who so desperately want to get laid with strangers, couples who are in a committed relationship will, if they so desire, have plenty of opportunity to have lots and lots of sex.

A problem “garden-variety sluts” may face, though, is that they may simply be unable to keep any guy around because they have such toxic personalities. However, instead of trying to work on the root of their problems, they go for the supposed quick fix and simply spread their legs for the next guy who comes around, hoping that he’ll stick around a bit longer. This leads to an interesting question: Could it be that sluts are simply women who are unable to keep a guy around, either because they have a shitty personality, or because they don’t know what qualities to look for in men for long-term relationships?

What do you think? Let me know in the comments below, but keep the comment policy in mind.
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11 thoughts on “Sluts vs. regular women with a high sex-drive

  1. The nr 1 cause would be fatherless upbringing. This has more than just psychological reasons. Even the physical biology of a girl growing up without a father is impacted. Our body’s communicate with eachother with hormones and feromones constantly. A girls body reacts to the absence of her biological father. When her natural protector is not around. A girl will on average become fertile one year sooner. She will also become sexually active one year sooner and in most cases become hypersexual. Replacing the biological father with a other man makes no difference. Girls that grow up without knowing the man that takes care of them isn’t their biological father suffer the same effects. Having biological brothers in the home will have some effects but not as much as the biological father. This is a hormonal reason girls turn into sluts. Their body thinks it’s in a dangerous environment and reacts. On top off that they have no experience with bonding with men and no example what to look for.

  2. I have met relatively few women who were wildly promiscuous and were psychologically well-adjusted. Most women enjoy sex but most women won’t accumulate a triple digit partner count unless there are other factors at work.

    1. I think double-digit in women is concerning enough, for her to not be considered marriage material.

    2. A woman’s ability to bond with a man decreases with every sexual partner she has. I agree with Neutralrandomthoughts that double-digit should be a deal breaker. At that point she wont have any chance of forming a strong life long bond with a man. Preferably the number would be 0. Every number higher will only devalue the attachment she feels to you. Sadly this means that most beautiful western women already lost the ability to bond with men before they hit their twenties. At 30 only the landwales are probably still available that didn’t hit the double-digit mark.

  3. So, this is obviously one of the topics that raise many concerns among us men, mainly because in our dream, a combination of a sex goddess and a loyal wife is the apex of our sexual fantasies. At a lower level, our concerns are also natural since none of us here want to be cuckolded.

    The answer to that question can never be black and white in nature. We can see this in a logic way: if we view the total number of women who have sex drive as a total, than there are definitely smaller subsets that exist inside. On one extreme, we have pornstars or ex-prostitutes who ride the roller-coaster just for the joy, the thrill of it, and on the other hands, listen carefully, a subset of women who display a certain degrees of selection and self-restraint. Partner count is definitely one of the most crucial indicators here, but sadly, it is sometimes next to impossible to obtain. Luckily, if we can’t assess these girls quantitatively, we can still be able to find out about certain traits rather quickly. Quietly observing their routines if they are in your social circle, their groups of friends, the parties they usually attend, the kind of guys they interact with on a daily basis, or making a bold advance in an environment not conductive cold approach. In my opinion, a girl who has a history of fucking guys in their car rarely get turned off by your assault, they get rather turned on. A girl who shows restraint in her selection would view you very sceptically and rarely maintain contact with you unless there is an intense chemistry in the first interaction. A high sex drive girl who is conscientious in her choice of men still SHOW RESTRAINT in her interaction with men, that is, she is still interested in talking to men, and even flirting, but foil most attempts guys make on her, only set the target on certain guys that are attractive to her. Of course, as with most females, desired guys are still ranked on her list. This is definitely a very grey area that only by experience, we can make a leap foward.

    In my experience, if you are gifted with a predisposed social and sexual intuition (again, intuition is not rigorous or entirely reliable, experience do helps to filter out bad intuition while retain what is confirmed empirically), then you can definitely sense this. It is also true that if you have this intuition, you can definitely feel that girls react rather differently with guys whom they have a raw sexual desire for (and therefore likely go to bed quickly with him) and guys with whom they have a rather romantic connection with. Don’t judge them for that, it is in their nature, they can’t help it. It is consistent with the principles of female sexual selection put forth by Seductionmyth. So here is the main crux of all this: she selectively go to bed with guys who match her fast sex profile, otherwise, she just do not sleep with guys almost indiscriminately.

    The second question is what if you are in her romantic partners profile, that is you are only secondary, well, tough luck. Eat well, excercise well to improve your physique may help to boost your value a bit more. But then the question is still will she cheats on you when she sees the next guy who is more attractive. There comes the moral compass within each woman that we have no way to know except for finding out by risking being in a relationship with her. Thus comes a natural principle that I have posted here a while ago: no-one walks out of the sexual arena without wounds and pains, none. So, enjoy while its last, while keeping an eye out. It’s good that Sleazy should give us a few lesson in testing and training women when you are in a relationship with them. The content is valuable certainly. If you have certain financial success that can be used a leverage, then she might think twice before cheating on you.

    But, as most of us here are quite smart, we never want to be a second choice, so through trail and error we wish to select girls who put us on a very high ranking in their totem pole. That is the goal we should strive for.

    To use my life experience, my first official girlfriend is an Italian blonde who is slightly taller than me (I am 1m75-1m76), she is roughly 1m80. Very beautiful, among the most attractive women I have ever seen in my life, for me personally of course. She pairs with me after things do not work out with a friend of mine (a DJ, very handsome, I can see he is a great match for her, facially resemble her, 1m85). Obviously the guy is living in a pussy heaven so he sense no urge to settle down with her (or being tied down by her, so to speak). I, at that time, was still a young kid, so she found me moderately attractive, which means cute, and a safe option, so she chose me. The relationship doesn’t last very long (it shouldn’t last very long otherwise I doubt I will have any joy in recounting it here today at all). It lasts a bit more than 3 months before she went back to Italy permanently. The chemistry was rather intense on my part, though I’m pretty sure that it was not that intense on her part as it was with my friend (well what a dick he was).

    Another friend of mine, he was black, in college, lack of cash, trying to be a DJ so he had an affiliated link with the first guy, met this brunette tall and absolutely gorgeous Italian girl, so gorgeous that I sometimes I oggled at her features while already having my girlfriend on my lap, and I still envy him for that. For bloody sake, she was definitely the gal for my friend. Very good match, they make a great great couple. My black friend, who is a dick just all of us, is afraid of entering a relationship with her because all the pussies flying around but eventually he was dragged on by her enthusiasm and insistence, and they had a few very happy years together (they are still together, as of today), and I wish they would stay with each other for a longer time. My friend once divulged to me that she only had 2-3 guys before him, so he thought that was fine.

    So that was it.

    Footnote: There are some instances where I saw 2 businessmen married to two former sex workers. Can’t call them prostitute since they are very educated, they must belong to the courtesan category. I don’t know much about them but I can make an educated guess that these guys already thought very carefully about their choice, weighing between risk and benefits, and they finally married.

    So, that’s my thought about this subject, to sum it up:
    – Certain degrees of selection and restraint, which translates into significantly fewer past sexual partners. In my opinion, 1<=x<=10 is a reasonable range, though of course, other factors should be taken account, the number should not stray too far from this 10. 12 I'd say, is the maximum upper bound that we can allow.

    – A good moral sense that is quite rare in women nowadays, must be explored after a certain amount of time with risk (family history is definitely a good place to look into, especially the relationship between her and her father).

    – Country of origin is also a good factor.

    You guys can come up with any metrics you think is important, which can help us to enrich our list here.

    That's it.

    1. (“these guys already thought very carefully about their choice, weighing between risk and benefits, and they finally married.”) Clearly they didn’t think with their big head.

    2. Superb post!
      Additional metrics/indicators(?) for me (after having dated a traditional woman for half a year).

      – Looks boring. Not fashion wise, but looks like the opposite of a party girl. She had fooled me to the extent that until we weren’t at her place after 1 month of dating, I did truly believed I’d have to teach her everything in bed. No, she knew what to do.

      – Pets. Not gonna start the dog/cat discussion, but: If the discussion comes up if she considers having pets in the family, then ultimately traveling will be an issue. The question was how one would deal with it. The reply I got was, that either there are no pets, or the travels have to be adapted so that the animal can join. After all, quote: “it’s part of the family”
      I think this is a strong indicator of an inclusive persona, to not consider animals like just toys one gives away when convenient. I think that there are quite some parallels to how people treat pets and how they can handle kids, which are the ultimate goal of a relationship anyway.

      -Kids. If you have the chance to observe her in presence of kids (needs larger sample size of kids usually): Not only how she reacts to them, but how they react to her. Kids seem to have a great sense for who’s a potential good mother (and who’s at peace with themselves) and who’s not. Is the baby quiet in her arms and not freaking out immediately and you see little children staying calm in her arms over and over again, it’s a good sign.

  4. Just clarify, that blonde Italian so far has not settled down yet. She is 30 now and still look good, so she can be afforded to be choosy for some years. Looking back, she does force all guys to go through a dating rite. My DJ still has to hang out with her for a week before he nailed her. I still have to hang out for a while before I can sleep with her. She dated a couple of guys but just sort of let them tagging along without sleeping with them. Those guys are left to fill the gap, they are not taken serious.

    So in a way, she does display certain level of selection. But here is the deal breaker: Her beauty is her own burden. She becomes obsessed with it and need people to comment on her photos on Facebook all the time. While not lacking intelligence at all, she only takes a superficial interests in everything in order to be seen as smart. She creates a front image and leaves by it. She has characters but still flawed in a serious way.

    On the brunette girl, I’d say that she is very aggressive in getting the guy she wants. Very sexual by nature and very comfortable in her attractiveness, she can still flaunt at other guys without giving them anything they want. But once she saw the guy that fits her best, she stays with him loyally. My DJ friend actually made a move on her when she first met the black guy but she recoiled and blocked his attempt (saw with my own eyes).

    I guess that couple can stay together for some years, and that guy can be subservient to her for some times. But if he doesn’t move forward towards building a career, she may leave him. That is my projection.

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