Some days ago I promised writing a post on the dark side of picking up women. I think this is a topic that is hardly addressed. To be completely frank: I don’t think that what I am going to write about is applicable to your garden-variety PUA who is willing to fuck literally anything, and who tends to end up with women who are downright desperate. Instead, I am going to discuss the case of guys who are genuinely desirable by women.
Let me start with an anecdote: Some indefinite time ago, I met a young, fun, smart girl. I really enjoyed her company, and we had a great vibe going. On our second date, she ended up in my bed. I could now regale you with stories of her supple body, but let me just say that she really made an effort to please me. Afterwards, she rested her head on my chest, and caressed my body with her finger tips. We had some nice pillow talk. At one point, though, she lifted her head up, looked me in the eyes and asked me, with a curious tone, whether I had a girlfriend. Truthfully, I declined. She seemed happy to hear that, and continued with, “So this means that I could be your girl!”
That was quite the bomb to drop.
How did I react? Well, I wasn’t really looking for a girlfriend, so I said that I didn’t think that this was such a good idea. This killed the mood completely. She froze up, and seemed to tear up a little. The next thing she said was that her parents were expecting her for dinner (at 4 pm?) and that she had to leave. That was that. I never saw her again.
Now you may say that I shouldn’t care about what some random girl thinks, and that it is her fault if a guy breaks her heart. That is one side of the story. The other, though, is that you will genuinely hurt some people, and it took me quite a while to realize this. In all honesty, it took me a long time because I wasn’t looking to make an emotional connection.
Your opinion of women may very well be negative. This does not change the fact that you are dealing with a live human being. She may be your 50th or 60th woman. Yet, she may really like you, and you may be the first, second, or third guy she feel some kind of emotional connection with. However, as long as your interactions focus primarily on sex, this may not even occur to you because the number of women you have had a genuine emotional connection with may be zero. From my personal perspective, I can say that even though I have met a rather large number of women, the number of women I have genuinely become emotionally attached to is a grand total of — wait for it! — one.
It may flatter your ego if you get a girl who is completely into you, but if this feeling is not mutual and all you want to get out of the interaction is sex, you will cause anger and resentment. As a consequence, I would recommend that you should not have sex with women who are infatuated with you, if you only view them as objects, because there are plenty of women around who will want to only use you for sex.